The Bachelor alum Rachael Kirkconnell has shared a life update following her devastating split with Matt James.

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After four years of dating, Matt dumped his The Bachelor 25 winner, Rachael, during a trip to Tokyo and then publicly announced their split via Instagram in January without giving Rachael any warning.

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Rachael admitted earlier this year she was totally blindsided and heartbroken by the breakup.

"If I love someone, I will fight for them so hard. So I think I just really wanted to give it a try because I knew that we both felt so strongly for each other. I just felt like we were living for others and not for ourselves," Rachael told Jason Tartick on a recent episode of his "Trading Secrets" podcast.

"It was hard, but I don't regret anything. But I definitely do feel differently now looking back on a lot of stuff and on a lot of flags and things."

Rachael noted that she didn't "want to get into" what those red flags were exactly, but she added, "It's just such a different thing to look back on" now.

"It was just shocking -- the whole thing! It was so hard to wrap my mind around. For the longest time, I was like, 'I can't believe this is my life right now,' and in a bad way," Rachael explained.

These days, however, Rachael said that she believes everything in her life has happened for a reason.

"I always try to tell myself, 'Whatever is meant to be, will be, and whatever is meant to come to me will come to me. And whoever is not supposed to be in my life, won't be,'" Rachael shared

"I just have to tell myself that every day because, still, I still can't believe my life looks like what it looks like now. I'm scared for the future sometimes. Sometimes I feel pretty hopeless. I don't know if my person is out there."

Rachael acknowledged that she had pictured marriage and children with Matt and so she's not sure what her future is going to look like now.

"But I also am really enjoying my independence and I am such a lover girl and I am such a relationship person, and I do want that, but I am not going to settle anymore," Rachael insisted.

"I would rather be alone than be in something unhealthy or something I know is not right at the end of the day."

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Rachael even said she'd rather live her life alone, without kids, if she doesn't find her "perfect" person and the right match for her.

"[I want] a partner through and through and I know he'd be an incredible husband and father," Rachael said.

"If I don't find that, I'm not going to settle. I wouldn't go through IVF or anything on my own."

Jason pointed out how it seemed "a new Rachael" has been born and she's doing so well.

Rachael agreed and also revealed that she has more money coming in as a solo influencer than she had been making with Matt.

"The opportunity that has come my way since then is crazy," Rachael teased.

"It's definitely something I didn't expect, but this is definitely one of the best years I've had financially."

Rachael has apparently come a long way since Matt announced their breakup in January.

"I feel very differently now," Rachael noted, adding how her split from Matt was "so fresh" when she appeared on Alex Cooper's "Call Her Daddy" podcast.

"[Alex and I] recorded [my podcast interview] the same week it was happening. So I feel very differently now. It's hard watching it back... seeing clips and stuff," Rachael said.

"I just looked horrible and I felt horrible. Obviously I'm in a much better place now, but I still can't wrap my head around that entire situation."

Rachael said she's glad she shared her truth during that interview because it must have helped at least one girl going through a breakup.

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"I try to tell people, 'Don't let anyone ever be your source of happiness.' I think that it's a gift to be on your own for however long and finding your independence and knowing who exactly you are, with or without someone," Rachael told Jason.

"You need to be the source of your own happiness and your own joy."

Rachael said a partner should just be a positive and fun addition to your life.

"You should always make sure, no matter what, if anything happens... that you're going to be okay and stand up on your own," Rachael advised her fans, adding, "You're going to be okay."

When Matt announced his breakup with Rachael, he wrote in an unusual statement via Instagram: "Father God, give Rachael and I strength to mend our broken hearts. Give us a peace about this decision to end our relationship that transcends worldly understanding. Shower our friends and family with kindness and love to comfort us. And remind us that our Joy comes from you, Lord."

Rachael previously said on the "Call Her Daddy" podcast that she was sitting in Tokyo on a Georgia-bound plane waiting for it to take off when she saw Matt's Instagram post.

Rachael recalled her phone blowing up with text messages and calls, only to lose WiFi signal and have no phone connection for the next 12 hours.

Rachael admitted she felt "pure shock" and "so much confusion" about Matt's decision considering he had been so vocal in the media about his desire to propose marriage to her and start a family in the near future.

Rachael recalled on the "Call Her Daddy" podcast: "He said that, at the end of the day, there were qualities about me that he worries about having in a wife, like... there are things we are not compatible with."

She elaborated, "[He said], 'I should want to propose to you. At this point in our relationship... I should be ready for that, but I'm not still. I still don't feel like I'm ready. I don't know if I ever see myself proposing to you. I can't actually see myself married to you.'"

But Rachael refuses to speak poorly of Matt, who allegedly regrets the way he had handled their breakup. Rachael said she'd even like to become friends again with Matt, eventually.

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About The Author: Elizabeth Kwiatkowski

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