The Bachelor alum Rachael Kirkconnell has revealed why she wants to remain friends with Matt James after their surprising split.

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After four years of dating, Matt dumped his The Bachelor 25 winner, Rachael, during a trip to Tokyo and then publicly announced their split via Instagram in January without giving Rachael any warning.

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Rachael admitted earlier this year she was totally blindsided and heartbroken by the breakup, but according to the brunette beauty, she'd love for Matt to eventually be a part of her life again.

"People are going to kill me for this, but I still do wish on some level we could be friends. Because he was my best friend," Rachael admitted during a recent appearance on "The Squeeze" podcast.

Rachael became visibly upset and continued: "I'm trying not to cry. Of course he was my best friend for years, and we were friends before being boyfriend and girlfriend in our relationship. Not every relationship is like that."

Because Rachael and Matt had such a strong friendship, she admitted that she sometimes questioned the depth of his love for her.

"Sometimes I would look at him and be like, 'Are you actually in love with me?' I don't know," Rachael recalled.

"For me, at times, I was like, 'It really does just seem like we're best friends.' And again, so many relationships are different."

But the Atlanta native and social media influencer noted how she loved that about her relationship with the former The Bachelor star.

"I want all my relationships to feel like the man that I'm dating is my best friend. So, I loved that for the most part," Rachael shared.

"And so I do think that it's a possibility, maybe, some time down the line. I'm still trying to -- not support him, but I want him to be okay."

Rachael reiterated how "there are so many layers" to her relationship with Matt that not many people know about.

"Some things are just between us and it's private. Not everyone needs to know everything. So there is a part of me that will always be rooting for him and hope that he's doing okay," Rachael said.

"And I would love to maybe someday -- not any time soon, don't worry guys -- but I don't know, a couple years from now or something, if we were to run into each other at an event or something, I would love to be able to sit and have a conversation."

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Rachael said it would be great to "have a laugh and catch up" with Matt when that time comes.

"I don't think either of us have any bad blood or ill will towards each other, so maybe when we're both moved on," Rachael shared, adding how she'd like to simply be on "friendly" terms with Matt.

"Like we don't have to be friends, but friendly would be nice. I do want him to be happy, doesn't have to be with me."

Rachael insisted that she had said that from the very beginning of her romance with Matt.

"I said that to him on the show. I was like, 'At the end of the day, I just want you to be happy even if it's not with me,'" she recalled of her time on The Bachelor's 25th season.

"And I still feel like that to this day. I just want both of us to be happy, even if it's not with each other. So, I don't know, we'll see."

Rachael concluded, "I feel like one of the big questions right now is, 'Are you in contact?' And we are not in contact. I have not been texting him, I have not been calling him, don't worry. But I would love if we could be friendly at some point."

When Matt announced his breakup with Rachael, he wrote via Instagram, "Father God, give Rachael and I strength to mend our broken hearts. Give us a peace about this decision to end our relationship that transcends worldly understanding. Shower our friends and family with kindness and love to comfort us. And remind us that our Joy comes from you, Lord."

Rachael previously said on the "Call Her Daddy" podcast that she was sitting in Tokyo on a Georgia-bound plane waiting for it to take off when she saw Matt's Instagram post.

Rachael recalled her phone blowing up with text messages and calls, only to lose WiFi signal and have no phone connection for the next 12 hours.

Rachael admitted she felt "pure shock" and "so much confusion" about Matt's decision considering he had been so vocal in the media about his desire to propose marriage to her and start a family in the near future.

Rachael said that Matt felt some regret about the way he had dumped and blindsided her.

Matt allegedly didn't view Rachael as his perfect person. He was allegedly concerned about how emotional she got during challenging times and how she supposedly didn't apologize and take accountability for her mistakes.

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Shortly after their breakup, Rachael said she wished she and Matt could remain friends, but she also admitted to Alex Cooper that she could never reconcile with the former The Bachelor star because of how he had disrespected her at the end of their relationship.

"It's just sad to look back on now -- four years later, that's how things went out," Rachael explained at the time.

"It's definitely something to not dwell on, but something that I wonder if I'll always be a little bummed out about."

Rachael previously expressed how she's now looking for a man who will show her respect, listen to her and empathize with how she's feeling.

"You need to have not only compassion for your partner, but also compassion for yourself," Rachael told Us Weekly.

"And not only compassion, but just making sure you have respect for yourself and for one another."

Rachael said she also wants her future boyfriend to be supportive and accept her for who she is -- "flaws and all" -- because she plans to treat him the same way.

"And to always just make sure you are being an uplifting partner," Rachael continued.

"I won't speak for all women, but for me personally, I can be pretty self-conscious at times, or I can be really, really hard on myself."

Rachael, however, said she wasn't quite ready to begin dating again and it's unlikely she'll get involved with someone from The Bachelor franchise again.

"Listen, I'm never going to totally shut the door on anything. That's not me, but I also feel like it's pretty soon and I don't think I'm ready for that," Rachael said.

Rachael added with a laugh, "Maybe you won't see me on the beaches of Paradise, but you might see me on the beaches elsewhere, just a vacation by myself."

Matt's The Bachelor season filmed in late 2020, and he was shown giving Rachael his final rose on the Season 25 finale that aired in early 2021.

When Matt broke up with her in Tokyo, Rachael recalled on the "Call Her Daddy" podcast: "He said that, at the end of the day, there were qualities about me that he worries about having in a wife, like... there are things we are not compatible with."

She elaborated, "[He said], 'I should want to propose to you. At this point in our relationship... I should be ready for that, but I'm not still. I still don't feel like I'm ready. I don't know if I ever see myself proposing to you. I can't actually see myself married to you.'"

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About The Author: Elizabeth Kwiatkowski

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