Sydney Lotuaco on dumping Colton Underwood: I still wonder if going on 'The Bachelor' was the right choice
By Elizabeth Kwiatkowski, 02/14/2019
Sydney Lotuaco quit The Bachelor during Monday night's episode because her relationship with Colton Underwood wasn't progressing at a fast enough pace, and now she's reflecting back on that significant decision.
"After making it as far as I did and pushing myself out of my comfort zone I knew that this wasn't my love story," Sydney wrote in a lengthy Instagram post on Tuesday.
Sydney's exit rocked Colton's world and left him questioning which of the remaining women were really there for him and ready to get married. Sydney advised Colton to pay attention to the wonderful women in the group and not be distracted by "shiny things."
"I auditioned for this show as a funny afternoon with a friend and never thought that it would go anywhere past there. In a way it landed in my lap, which in my line of work rarely if ever happens," Sydney continued in her Instagram post.
"This led to me deciding between continuing with a job that I loved and worked incredibly hard for and this exciting, scary opportunity focusing on something I had been putting on the back burner always."
Sydney held down a job as a professional NBA dancer prior to appearing on The Bachelor, and she told Colton on Night 1 she had to quit an awesome gig in order to pursue dating him.
"I'm 27 and have never had a boyfriend and have always chosen to focus on my job, my responsibilities, and my passions over relationships and life events and this made me challenge that head on," Sydney wrote.
While she said "lots of my interactions and conversations weren't shown," she was "happy" about what viewers did get to see of her.
"I didn't fail, I tried my hardest, I was authentic and ultimately did the thing that I would have always wondered about had I not gone," Sydney reasoned in her post.
"This show taught me so much about myself and about how I'm living my life and that along with the friendships and amazing memories is what I will take with me. I still wonder if going was the 'right' choice and miss my team and dancing center court very much, but life comes with hard choices."
Sydney admitted she doesn't want to be asking herself "what if?" at the end of the day.
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"For now, I will continue to push myself out of the routine and open myself and my heart up to love and my happy ending, not settling for anything less," explained the brunette beauty from New York, NY.
"Hoping to find my lifelong dance partner soon! Thank you to everyone who supported me, watched with me, and believed in me. You all have my rose #KCDSydney #TheBachelorSydney #TheBachelor #BachelorNation."
Sydney received a lot of support from The Bachelor fans after she shared her thoughts on social media, prompting the Season 23 contestant to thank everyone in a separate Instagram post on Wednesday.
"#BachelorNation I want to hug you. THESE MESSAGES, I'm overwhelmed! I have to take breaks between reading them because unlike Monday's episode I usually try to not get brought to tears this often. I just wanted to send more love to all of you," Sydney expressed.
"Reading notes referring to me as an 'inspiration' or 'role model,' I'm at a loss for words. The outreach has been so touching and heart warming. I've been screen shotting your words to save for a rainy day. I'm working my way through all of them I promise, but if I miss responding to you just know that I appreciate you and am sending so much love back your way!"