Nikki Ferrell made herself an outcast from The Bachelor family while dating the polarizing Juan Pablo Galavis, however, now that they've split, she's ready to talk about what went wrong.

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Ferrell, whom Galavis gave his final rose to at the end of The Bachelor's eighteenth season, appeared on the red carpet for the live event preceding the show's Season 19 premiere starring Chris Soules. Host Chris Harrison pulled Ferrell aside for a chat, and she finally opened up about what was really going on in her highly-publicized and criticized relationship with Galavis.

"I knew I was never going to be the No. 1 priority, like, he has a daughter. But I mean, there's a difference between being the second priority and the seventh priority," Ferrell told Harrison.

"So, I mean, we're just different people and there's different things, like, that he thinks are okay and I don't think they're okay. We just never saw eye to eye on them and we just never were going to see eye to eye on them. It's not from a lack of trying on either side. I tried really hard and he tried hard too."

Ferrell and Galavis split in October following months of reports the former Bachelor couldn't communicate his feelings for the pediatric nurse and allegedly used her for the fame of their celebrity pairing.

"It's just, I'm a nurse in Kansas City and he lives in Miami, and he's in the entertainment industry, and that's his job and that's his lifestyle. It was just really hard for me to fit into that, and at the end of the day, we gave it a go, but we're just two different people... When I'd go to [Miami] I'd just feel like I was kind of thrown into his life. But then again, when he would come to Kansas City, he would just be thrown into my life... It was hard. It wasn't easy from the start," Ferrell explained.

"He loves being part of the entertainment industry. Whether he's in the spotlight or not, that's something I don't really know. Because I am so far removed from it, I feel like, when I'm at home, it's just not a priority for me at all. And so, it's really hard for us to get together on that because I just never saw it the way he saw it. I didn't."

In a last-ditch effort to save their relationship, Ferrell recently made another trip to Miami

"I wasn't going to quit. I'm not a quitter, so I tried everything. And I know he tried too. It wasn't just a one-sided thing. But at the end of the day, we have different priorities, we have different lifestyles, and it just is what it is. We tried -- real life tried, not just TV tried," Ferrell reiterated.

The couple's relationship was extremely difficult -- and apparently doomed -- from the start. Many The Bachelor viewers were not huge fans of Galavis in general, and those negative opinions spilled onto Ferrell for choosing to be with him despite his obvious flaws. For instance, she had told Galavis she was in love with him very early on yet he refused to say those three little words back. 

"First, it's really hard to have a relationship that's seen in the public eye, and I feel like I was comfortable with expressing my feelings and he wasn't... And that's fine. As his girlfriend, I wanted to respect that because I was going to stand by my man. Was it going to be 100% my choice? No. But I mean, I cared about him and I wanted to be a good girlfriend," Ferrell told Harrison.

The animosity grew over time until it appeared like it was Galavis and Ferrell -- who previously said she'd rather gauge her eyes out than watch The Bachelorette -- against the world.

"No one prepares you for what's going to happen on the show and being in the spotlight... I wanted everyone [to] be happy for me, and I felt like [our situation] was misunderstood for a lot of reasons. It was misunderstood because we weren't able to express ourselves -- mostly him -- in a way that I wanted it to be expressed," she said.

Getting heat from the public was "one of the hardest things" Ferrell ever had to deal with.

"Everyone says, 'Oh yes, you signed up for it,' and yes, I did, you're right. But the hurtful things that people said to me, it's just no one can prepare you for that," she said. "It was really hard for me and I'm really lucky that he was there to support me through that, because I just didn't handle it well and I still feel like I struggle with it to this day. I mean, I'm human and I make mistakes. I wasn't ready for my love life to be broadcast on national television."

Galavis did eventually tell Ferrell he loved her, but she admitted it was "too late probably."

"I think at that point, I had just come to the conclusion that we're different people and we're never going to be on the same page. Not that I have any hard feelings, and I can't speak for him in this situation, but I just knew my lifestyle was never going to fit in with his... I'll be the one to decide enough is enough, and the relationship didn't end because we didn't love each other or because of a lack of communication... There was a point when we said we loved each other like a normal relationship," she explained.

Now that she's single, Ferrell repeatedly insisted she's "doing really great."

"I don't regret anything because I feel like I've grown so much as a person and I'm really grateful for the experience because I know who I am and I know what I want and I know what I don't want. I'm just really happy. I'm happy now. I love my life," she told Harrison.
About The Author: Elizabeth Kwiatkowski

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