90 Day: The Last Resort star Paola Mayfield has opened up about a traumatic event that has haunted her and negatively impacted her relationship with husband Russ Mayfield for years.
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"I don't even know how to start. Last night, I was being very vulnerable and I told something to Russ that I've been keeping in for so long," Paola began, trying to recall the conversation between sobs.
"With everything we've been going through at this retreat and this therapy, I'm putting things together -- why I am the way I am. Russ is such a great person, but I've been pushing him away. It's because of what happened to me 20 years ago."
Paola -- who grew up in Bucaramanga, Colombia -- shared how she finally mustered up the courage to talk about what happened to her.
"I told [Russ] that when I was 15 or 16 years old, I was raped," Paola revealed to the cameras.
"It happened so long -- so many years ago -- but it's still in the back of my head. Because you can forget things, but things like that, you cannot."
Paola explained how she had attended a party with a group of people when she was a teenager.
"I got into a little fight with this guy, and he slapped me. They sent me to a room and when they sent me to the room, I was abused," Paola said.
"I don't even want to say how many, but I couldn't say anything because if I said anything, I would get killed."
Paola explained how she "couldn't have a reaction" since she feared for her life and so she just "chose to let it happen."
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RELATED LINK: '90 DAY FIANCE' COUPLES NOWBut Paola confirmed it was "more than one person" who abused her that night.
Paola broke down crying into her hands and admitted, "I thought it was my fault because I put myself in that situation because I used to like to go out... But now that I am mature enough and I'm able to talk about this, I don't believe that I deserved that."
Paola recalled how her life was "so bad" when she was younger and she had gone through so much.
"It has been so hard. I have been trying to be so strong about everything. But I just can't anymore. I don't want to be this strong anymore," Paola lamented.
"I want to be able just to take a break from everything."
Paola admitted that she had "a lot of built-up anger" because of her past.
"Even just thinking about it, I shake... I just feel that it is not fair sometimes with Russ. I feel like I've been pushing him [away] with every little fight," Paola explained.
l -- who appeared to belittle and criticize Russ constantly on the show -- explained how she finally opened up to Russ about her past so he could maybe understand more about her behavior.
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Footage then showed Russ comforting Paola, who thanked her husband for listening to her. Paola apparently hoped that letting Russ in on her secret would bring them closer together and help them find a solution to their marriage problems.
Russ confessed that Paola's revelation broke his heart but he was very proud of her for being so honest and vulnerable with him.
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"I think this is tied to her response to me," Russ said in a confessional, before promising his wife that he was going to give her all the help and support she needed.
Paola and Russ have also starred on Season 1 of 90 Day Fiance and Seasons 1-4 of 90 Day Fiance: Happily Ever After?, among other 90 Day Fiance spinoffs on TLC.
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About The Author: Elizabeth Kwiatkowski
