Survivor: Panama - Episode 6 Summary

'Houston, We've Got A Problem' By PepeLePew13

Previously on Survivor:

• Pippi Longstocking muses over the fact she’s the last woman standing in a boys club on La Mina.

• Bruce couldn’t hack it in the RC (he’s a karate instructor?!?) and Bobby does what comes naturally to him being a lawyer from L.A. – hacking and chopping for survival. Tom2.0 heads off to Exile Island.

• Both tribes got a reward -- Casaya gets surf-n-turf while La Mina serves up some fart-n-barf, thanks to Nick and Austin overloading on beans.

ADVERTISEMENT

• Bobby’s 10-pound dump from the previous episode results in Lake Casaya being flooded.

• Bobby and Bruce got cozy in the latrine with a bottle of wine while the others in the tribe slept.

• La Mina actually won an IC, which resulted in a flip flop at the Casaya camp:
  Shane: Bobby!
  Aras (later): No, Bruce!
  Danielle (even later): Newp, it’s Bawby!

• Shane’s left flapping in the wind after making a deal with Bobby in between Aras and Danielle’s proclamations, but saves face by throwing his vote away while Bobby gets booted during a 3-2-1-1 split vote. The most stunning part of the TC wasn’t that there were four people that received a vote, but that Shane was one of the people who didn’t get a vote and he actually seemed to be the sanest of all the Casayas.

After the break, we return to Kamp Kumbaya, where it’s still night 14 after Tribal Council.

As the tribe settle down into their swampy beds, a ménage-a-trois with Danielle and Cirie on top of Aras is interrupted by Shane’s ranting.

Shane: Danielle, we made the wrong decision. Bruce should have been gone! He sucked ass in the challenge and he’s getting weaker!

Danielle: Shane, shut up. You’re interrupting my good time.

Shane: I tell ya, Bruce sucks!

Danielle: He can hear you.
Shane: So. You won’t include me in your ménage-a-trois! I want out of the alliance.

Danielle: I don’t appreciate you directing your anger at me. Ya wanna out? Fine, if you still feel that way in the morning, then we’ll have it out, but right now I’m not done with Aras.

In the morning, Cirie’s practically wetting herself in anticipation of bringing Courtney up to date on the previous night’s fight as she missed the whole thing while sleeping on the beach. She told how Shane sulked all night, that he felt that Danielle and Courtney were young women who typically didn’t know what the hell they wanted and he wanted them to release him from the alliance so he could take his son’s name back. Courtney replied she’d like to release Shane from the game altogether.

Danielle strolls into the conversation and punctuates the point with a very empathic thumb saying “OUT!”, then proceeds to come up with about 20 different ways of calling Shane a ‘lunatic’. The girls proceed to yap on and on, describing all sorts of gory details how they’d execute Shane with the guillotine, amongst other things. Only trouble with that is the girls have known that Shane has been seriously cuckoo for a long time now, yet he didn’t get a single vote at the previous night’s TC. To quote Shane from earlier, “They need to make up their minds. They’re women.”

La Mina – Day 15

On the beach, Houdini Dan gets ready to perform an out-of-this-world magic trick while reminiscing about his days in outer space. Watch carefully as he gazes out to the horizon while looking up at the moon, dressed in a red shirt and sporting a white beard. Abracadabra. Poof, he instantly changes to a yellow T-shirt, sans beard, and comments while pointing up at the moon that he’s “been within 200 miles of that spot many times. Vertically.” Wow, amazing trick! Dan Fuego!

The guys (and Pippi, who whines about the Boys Club) gather around the fire and apparently Austin and Nick haven’t learned a single thing from their fart-n-barf the day before as they promptly scoop up some beans to eat. Tom2.0 and Austin go fishing on the rocky shore which, mysteriously, isn’t teeming with meal-sized fish and they manage to corral a few minnows. Austin’s trying so hard to fit in with the cool guys that he downs a single minnow very much as a college student would a goldfish.

Nick and Dan heads off on a raft and Dan reveals his past as an astronaut. Nick goes gaga and said he’s always wanted to be an astronaut. They rush back to camp to tell the others. Austin, again trying badly to fit in, remarks that “Dan Fuego is a stud! He’s a pimp!” Easy, dude. Austin adds that his real name is John Grisham. Dood, give it up. And once again, we cut to a shot of Dan Fuego on the beach, sans beard, as he explains he doesn’t want to keep his astronaut background a secret from the tribe.

Back to Kamp Kumbaya. Danielle and Shane slowly circle each other with their ears pinned back and teeth showing in anticipation for round 1,379 of their never-ending battle, while Courtney chirps about how nice the sunshine is, ahhh. Finally, Shane makes the move.

Shane: Brak brak brak, you girls booted Bob Dawg based on something a few days ago, I want out of the alliance and I want my son’s name back.

Danielle: Done.

Shane: Brak brak brak, you girls don’t do anything.

Danielle: I’m not gonna give you any lovin’ so get off my back. I came here to enjoy myself and not be demeaned.

Aras comments that he doesn’t want to be in an alliance with Shane any more. Best to dissolve it as it’s a paper tiger now.

Aras: You are making the gods angry!

Shane: Danielle is a meatball! What am I supposed to do? I screwed myself so bad.

Aras: Apologize to the girls or you’ve written your walking papers.

Keep this exchange in mind as we go through the rest of the summary.

Page Index: 1 2

Continue Reading >>>