The Apprentice 2 - Episode 12 Summary

'The Sorry Six-Pack!!!' By ARnutz

Previously on The Apprentice:

In an hour long commercial episode sponsored by Levi Strauss & Co.

Kelly was sent to Apex by Wes (big mistake Wes!) the teams designed catalogs for in-store promotions. Maria flew in on her broomstick, Kevin sweated bullets, Jenn took credit for Ivana’s work, Sandy brought Maria to tears and was also told to address Bill as Mr. Rancic (wait whu?? Mr. Rancic?? Then should we now say Ms. Kepcher & Mr. Ross???), Andy told Wes to take control, oh and Kelly was there too (wait was he? Oh yeah he was.) In other news: Melania now has a job as spokesmodel for Levi’s jeans. In the end, Apex pulled out a win and Mosaic went to the boardroom where:

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MARIA WAS FIRED!!!!

…oh yeah Wes was fired too… *yawn*

Excuse me a minute, I’m still dancing! That? Was the best moment of the entire season! I’m still so happy the twitchy witch is gone! OK… on with the show!

Andy and Sandy return to the suite where everyone is shocked that “The Donald” has fired 2 of their sorry butts. Then they partied like rock stars and sang “Ding Dong the Witch is Dead” while dancing on Maria’s forgotten designer suits and slam-dunking her BeDazzler in the b-ball hoop!

Team Apex:

Ivana and Jenn argued about which witch was more worthy of being PM this week, then Kelly stepped in, called the troops to attention and proclaimed, “I want to be PM too!” So Kevin used the most trusted and proven method to help choose the PM and put their names in a hat… TADA! Kelly is PM! After overhearing her team Jenn says, “I really don’t have any allies and I don’t think I ever have.”

{rant}Wait a minute!!! What the heck? Kelly has already been PM twice and won both times. He really should’ve stepped back and let someone else have this one. The Witches of Apex (oooh, I like that! It sounds kind of like The Witches of Eastwick.) need to step up and PM again! Ivana has one PM with a loss and a whole lotta enemies, Jenn has one PM with a win and a whole lotta enemies, including each other. Also Jenn? You don’t have any allies because they are all too busy with removing the knives from their backs to become your friend.{/rant}

Over to Mosaic:

Wait I can’t go there, they didn’t do anything here. There is only 2 misfits left and somehow, in a secret meeting, Andy is PM. I have a new name for them too! I will now call them Team Misfits.

The Task:

The Witches of Apex and Team Misfits are called in the suite and Kelly answers the phone in his underwear. They are instructed to meet Mr. Trump at some stupid project he is working on which has nothing to do with this task. Once there, Kelly sends Jenn packing and over to Team Misfits. The teams will work at Pepsi headquarters and design a new bottle and marketing campaign for Pepsi Edge. Once again George and Carolyn would be his eyes, ears and butt-kissers for the task.

Note: Ummm… Donald, shouldn’t you call them Mr. Ross and Ms. Kepcher??? I mean they do deserve your respect for putting up with your endless DAWness and stupid decisions in the boardroom!

Back to the show! This hour long commercial episode is brought to you by:

Team Misfits:

The team began by brainstorming ideas to the whiteboard. Sandy and Andy were actively involved while Jenn began her spell for PM Andy. Andy sucked down 1000 gallons of Pepsi products and got all hyped up on sugar. Sandy promoted her idea to go with Andy’s global theme, a contest where people could collect caps and win trips to that part of the world. Jenn stopped her incantation long enough to put her two cents in with the bulbous bottom and top of the bottle as opposed to Sandy’s round bottle idea. Coming down from his sugar high, Andy went to the design team where he bribed them with cash and pizza smells from the hall in order to get the job done.

We interrupt this summary for a lesson in business by Mr. Donald Trump.
This week’s lesson: Form your own opinion! OK… all you candidates listening? Please jot this down in your day planners or store it in your PDA. Later you will be given a quiz.

The Witches of Apex: (or Two Men and a Witch)

This team came up with the idea to spell out the word EGDE in the design of the bottle. While Kelly and Kevin worked very hard, Ivana was babbling about… I don’t even know what! I did catch her say something about marketing to “not completely straight men” and the look on Kelly’s face after this statement.

Oh boy! I have heard some people speculate about how Kelly might be gay. It is interesting that on the NBC website each candidate is either; married, engaged or single except Kelly who is “in a relationship”. The look on Kelly’s face after Ivana’s statement further adds to the mystery of Sargeant Kelly.

They are told by the design team that the bottle will be difficult to manufacture, however when they show up the next morning it is done and Ivana says, “It brought tears to my eyes, it was so beautiful.”

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