Big Brother 5 - Episode 23 Summary

'An Ice Block’s Chance in Hell of Winning' By Bucky Katt

No Saturday episode so we get four days of hamster activity all crammed into one hour! What it really means is these people are so boring they could no longer pass off any of their inane chatter as entertainment.

The HGs mourn the loss of Natalie by hugging Adria and then stating in the DR that it is better her then themselves. Then it is a recap of the HOH competition (no instant replay showing Marvin actually lost to Cowboy) with Karen stating that it may have been better for her to lose. She is hoping her strategy of being a perpetual loser will help her win. Sadly, this may be the best plan any HGs has at this point.

Marvin and Cowboy jump in the pool together and then hold hands and bump chests. I don’t know why CBS is showing that – perhaps this show is getting low ratings in the interracial gay couple demographic.

Jennifer (or the mastermind currently known as Nakrophilia) and Diane are discussing who they think Marvin would put up. Their consensus is that if he was dumb he would put up Cowboy and Adria and if he was smart he would put up the two of them. If this foreshadowing hasn’t slapped you in the face yet, you may be dumb enough to qualify for BB6 next summer. You may even be dumb enough to host – even money says Julie will be nursing Les Jr. this time next year.

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Marvin rounds up the others to show them his HOH room. The other HGs look bored with this exercise as are all the viewers. Cowboy of course is jealous because he has had no messages from home. Cowboy is of course foreshadowing.

Marvin and Diane discuss their mutual respect for each other (which really means Marvin wants in her pants) and they agree that Marvin will not nominate Diane this week and she will not nominate him next week if she wins HOH.

Next up, Jennifer tells everyone about her 18 piercings, her visits to S&M parties and her desire to be a dominatrix. Drew’s head almost explodes with all this information and he spends the next 2 days trying to pronounce sadomasochism.

It is now nomination time already (they should two episodes a week all the time) and Marvin pulls out the big key box. The keys are pulled out for Karen, Jennifer, Diane and Drew which means the nominees are Adria and Cowboy. Adria is nominated because she is a challenge threat and had it easy with her sister formerly being in the house. Cowboy is nominated because he is chummy with Adria and can’t vote for Adria to stay if he is on the block. Lost in Marvin’s speech is his explanation as to how he thinks he can win going after two of the weakest players left. Dumb indeed.

Back from commercial and we get a recap of the ceremony we just saw (CBS doing their part for the ADD viewers out there). Adria knows they are coming after her and figures she has a 1/6 chance of surviving and that is by winning the next veto competition. Adria asks Karen if she would use the veto if picked and Karen won’t commit to using it but did commit to not throwing it.

Diane then lets Drew, Jen and Karen know that she promised Marvin that none of the four would nominate him next week if he didn’t nominate them this week. If you have been paying attention, you will remember that no such thing ever happened – that deal was between only Marvin and Diane. Jen and Karen aren’t too thrilled about Diane speaking for the rest of them (how happy will they be about her lying about speaking for the rest of them) and think she is playing with fire.

Now it is time for America’s Choice with one HG getting a phone call from home. Cowboy is already crying. I was so hoping that he would not win as I am sadistic and would love to see him cry some more. But alas, it is Cowboy who was chosen by America and we get to see both Cowboy, April and Chason have their 3 minute discussion. There is more crying and I love yous then on the first day of kindergarten.

Back to Adria and her desperate appeals for a partner in the POV competition. She is working Karen hard about using the POV if she gets it despite the fact that Karen has never won anything. Karen declares herself half a player and Adria figures that a 1/5.5 chance is better then a 1/6 chance. Since there are only 7 HGs left, all but Diane get picked to play in the POV competition. If you can’t read the foreshadowing on the wall by now you are too dumb to breathe.

The POV competition involves each HG trying to get a POV medallion out of a block of ice using a water gun. Also in the ice is a "T" which will enable the HG to get a toolbox with additional tools to get the medallion out of the ice.

The HGs begin by squirting the ice with their water gun. Cowboy tells us his master strategy is to "melt the ice". He did not state his strategy for winning BB6 which is to "not get voted out" or his strategy of eating to alleviate hunger. He then starts beating the ice with his plastic water gun when it runs out of water and the other HGs do the same. Eventually, one of them remembered there is a vast quantity of water in the backyard pool and they continue squirting their blocks of ice. Adria is the first to get her "T" out and she gets her toolbox which contained a salt shaker, alcohol and hand warmers (didn’t they already do a margarita game?) that are pretty useless. I guess CBS figured that an ice pick may cause the HGs to go Basic Instinct on each other. In a most shocking turn of events, Karen is first to get her little hand into the ice block and pull out her medallion and she wins POV. You can call it the Miracle in Ice.

Later, Karen pretends to be asleep (or dead) to get away from Adria and her pressure to use the veto on herself. Karen doesn’t see the advantage of taking Adria off the block. So, after Adria and Cowboy give their speeches which never matter Karen decides to not use POV in one of the wisest moves of the week (comparisons to tallest midgets and most honest politicians come to mind).

Stay tuned next time to see who gets evicted and who wins HOH. Or just go read strid333’s summary right now!

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