Former 'The Bachelorette' star Jen Schefft pens a relationship guide
By Christopher Rocchio, 01/23/2007
Despite beating out 24 other women and being proposed to by Firestone tire company heir Andrew Firestone on the third season of ABC's The Bachelor and then having 25 guys to chose from on the third season of ABC's The Bachelorette, Jen Schefft knows a thing or two about being single -- and now she's cashing in on it.
Schefft, a 28-year-old public relations executive from Chicago, IL, recently wrote "Better Single Than Sorry: A No-Regrets Guide to Loving Yourself and Never Settling," a relationship book published by HarperCollins' William Morrow that hits shelves this week. Schefft discussed her new book in the January 29 issue of Us magazine, and said one of her top tips for living happily while single is that "you don't need a guy to complete you."
"A guy should add to your life -- he shouldn't make your life," Schefft told Us. She recommended staying busy and keeping a group of friends close at all times. "When you do things that interest you, you'll always be happy. You're not needy. You're not calling him 28 times a day because he's the only thing you've got going on."
Schefft also cautioned other single women on falling for a guy because he either has a large bank account or exceptional good looks. "You should be with someone because you are truly in love, not just for the sake of being in a relationship," Schefft told US.
Jerry Ferris, the man whom Schefft presented her The Bachelorette 3 final rose to but later rejected, was one of those guys with the good looks that she encourages others to be wary of. "Just because a guy is cute, it's easy to think he's really great and you let him get away with things that you wouldn't let slide with not-so-cute guys," Schefft told Us. Ferris told Us he's "anxious" to read Schefft's book, and wonders if he "had anything to do with it." Apparently he just got his answer.
While Schefft stressed the importance of surrounding yourself with good friends, she also warned against comparing yourself to others. "Everybody's life follows a different route," she told Us. Be patient, don't panic about marriage -- a relatively easy claim for someone who has already been proposed to multiple times to make -- and remain positive are all ways to ensure you don't get stuck in a bad relationship, according to Schefft.
"Every bad relationship is a learning experience," she told Us. "It teaches you about who you are and what you want."
Schefft admitted to being "freaked out" when she called off her nine-month engagement to Firestone in December 2003, and acknowledged it would have been easier for her to just stay in San Francisco with him rather than return to Chicago and "start all over again."
"People are so scared of being alone, so they stay in bad relationships," she told Us. "It's so empowering to know that you can do things solo without waiting for a man."
Schefft said her latest relationship ended in April 2006 after only two months, and she recently bought a one-bedroom loft-style apartment in Chicago.
"The other day, I struck up a conversation with this guy in my building," she told Us. "He seemed nice, but who knows? I'll know when I'm in love, and until then I'm not going to settle."