Exclusive: Robert Fair talks about his unexpected 'Bachelorette' ouster
By Christopher Rocchio, 06/16/2008
Robert Fair readily admits he completely misread his connection with DeAnna Pappas.
Unfortunately for him, it wasn't until after The Bachelorette fourth-season star had already given the boot to the 28-year-old chef from San Francisco, CA during Monday night's broadcast of the ABC reality dating series.
Last Friday, Robert talked to Reality TV World about what caused him to misread his chemistry with DeAnna; how he was confident that he'd be receiving a rose on their two-on-one date; his thoughts on which of the remaining suitors will win DeAnna's heart; if he's sticking to his story about being told Jeremy and Graham were the "front runners;" and how he hopes The Bachelorette opened a door for another reality role.
Reality TV World: You seemed confident that there was a connection between you and DeAnna throughout the two-on-one date and genuinely surprised when she said you wouldn't be getting a rose. Can you talk a little bit about why you were so sure there was a chemistry between you?
Robert: (laughing) That was probably the most misread connection that I've ever stumbled upon. I think that her reactions that she gave all the guys during their one-on-one times with her were very similar. Watching the show, I immediately recognized the reactions she was giving me were also the same reactions that Brian, Fred and all those other guys were getting as well. I think that she's a beautiful girl and it's easy to think that there's a connection there when maybe in reality there wasn't.
Reality TV World: Did DeAnna ever explain to you why she thought there was no romantic chemistry there?
Robert: No she never told me why. Maybe I'll find out from her sometime.
Reality TV World: DeAnna basically called you a hypocrite when she asked how you deal with relationship problems and you replied communication, only to have her bring up the example of earlier in the day with the BBQ. Did you have any idea DeAnna would react the way she did?
Robert: To be honest with you, there were a lot of other things going on besides my issue with what I heard when I went down to the outhouse that day. I just was the icing on the cake for that breakdown. She was really hung up on something else that was really bothering her and I just kind of set her off.
Reality TV World: What was that something else?
Robert: I can't go into what that was. But, I'm okay with the fact of knowing that I wasn't the butt of all of it.
Reality TV World: What made you decide to go inside the outhouse when the BBQ was going on?
Robert: I went inside the house just to gather my thoughts. When I went down to the outhouse I hadn't seen the guys in a couple of days. I just had eight different opinions coming from eight different guys and it's kind of hard to sort through all that when you're surrounded by a bunch of people. So I just went inside and I was going to take five or 10 minutes and go through my thoughts and figure out how to sort through all this.
Reality TV World: What was going through your head when DeAnna wasn't very receptive to the passionate kiss you were hoping for on the two-on-one date? Was it difficult to watch Monday night's episode and see DeAnna's confessional comments about not thinking it was a romantic moment for you to kiss her?
Robert: Well I was there so I know how she reacted. Like I said on the show, I'm usually not someone who's used to the taste of rejection. The two-on-one date, obviously that was definitely not the most romantic moment to go in for a kiss. But at the same time, you've got to use what little time you're given to the utmost... to the best that you can.
Reality TV World: You already mentioned how you misread your connection with DeAnna, so were you confident the entire time on that two-on-one date that you'd be receiving the rose over Fred?
Robert: Yeah. I thought that I was definitely getting the rose. I was surprised that I didn't.
Reality TV World: Is there anything more you think you could have done to show DeAnna that you really cared for her?
Robert: Hmm... It's just such an intense situation and there's so many emotions flying around with all those other guys. With DeAnna it comes down to a measure of chemistry and connections and she didn't feel that was there. I really know there was nothing more I could do. It's either there or it isn't.
Reality TV World: What was your initial reaction when you learned you'd be going on the two-on-one date and did it make you more confident or less confident knowing that it was with Fred? At the time, what was your thinking as to why she'd picked you for the two-on-one date?
Robert: The date card said, "Who has the recipe for love?" I initially thought that I'd have a hand-up in that. Fred was obviously a little intimidated. It turned out I ended up doing the cooking the whole time and he got to spend with DeAnna. It ended up being to my disadvantage.
Reality TV World: So how much of the cooking did you do on the date?
Robert: Not all of it, but I can't really get into the specifics of that.
Reality TV World: In hindsight, do you think the reason DeAnna picked Fred and yourself is because you two were the two guys that she felt she had the least romantic connection with? Do you think she went into that date already thinking she might send both of you home or do you think it was a spur of the moment thing?
Robert: To be honest with you, I absolutely feel that she knew both of us were going home.
Reality TV World: When did you learn Fred had also been eliminated?
Robert: Yeah, I mean I had to watch it just like the rest of you guys.
Robert: I was astonished. I haven't spoken with any of the guys since I've left and I'm looking forward to seeing them all at the reunion episode. I was shocked. I thought that Fred had it in the bag after she told me she couldn't give me the rose. But again, like she said, it just comes down to that measure of chemistry and she didn't see that in Fred either. She was basically sorting through things relatively quickly.
Reality TV World: You definitely seemed to be upset with the way the guys in the outhouse treated you at the BBQ they planned. Do you think they were deliberately trying to make you angry?
Robert: I know all the guys down in the outhouse, and they're all good-hearted guys. I obviously didn't get to spend a lot of time with Jeremy, so I can't vouch for him. But I think it was a joke -- a gag -- that went terribly wrong. I don't think that they deliberately tried to set me off. Not at all.
Reality TV World: Okay, so you don't specifically suspect any of the suitors for trying to set you up?
Robert: There might have been one of them. You can use your judgement to figure that one out.
Reality TV World: You explained to DeAnna that you had gotten the impression from one of the other bachelors that Jeremy and Graham were the "front runners." Who told you that and why were you so quick to believe it?
Robert: Ummm... I can't comment on that. I'm sorry.
Reality TV World: Why?
Robert: I'm just not allowed to. Let's just say this - I didn't make that up.
Reality TV World: Okay. When I talked to Fred yesterday, he said his time in the mansion wasn't an advantage because DeAnna's one-on-one date with Jesse went so late and then the BBQ happened the next day before both of you were cut. Is that something you agree with -- that living in the mansion wasn't much of an advantage for you?
Robert: Yeah. To be honest with you, I would have rather just stayed in the outhouse and hung out with the guys. (laughing) The advantage of me living in the mansion is supposed to be that you have a lot more one-on-one time with DeAnna. She ended up going on that one-on-one date with Jesse and then we got called down to the outhouse a few hours before our date that evening. So it really didn't affect the outcome of anything all that much.
Reality TV World: You were one of several of DeAnna's suitors who had been vocal about Jeremy and how much time she was spending with him. Talk a little bit about the problems you and some of the other bachelors had with Jeremy?
Robert: (laughing) Some of us.... Most of us on the show handled ourselves -- like Ron said -- with a certain amount of tact. There was just a certain amount of tact missing from Jeremy's approach to the entire situation. I think that deep down he's a good guy, but his interactions with the rest of us spoke otherwise.
Reality TV World: Is his sincerity something you question? Do you think he's there for the right reasons?
Robert: I thought he was there for the right reasons. I just did not like the way that he handled it.
Reality TV World: We saw what happened to Ron when he tried to explain his feelings on Jeremy to DeAnna. Did you ever consider approaching her about Jeremy and explaining what you thought about him?
Robert: I basically handed it over to my publicist and said, "You make the call. If you think it's not going to damage my career I'm open to falling in love."
Reality TV World: Did you watch her season of The Bachelor?
Robert: Actually I had never seen the show before. I used to live next to [The Bachelor third-season star] Andrew Firestone. So I actually caught half an episode when he was on it. other than that, I really hadn't seen it. I had no idea who [DeAnna] was, that's for sure.
Reality TV World: Once you were cast for the show did you do anything to learn more about her?
Robert: I got shown a picture of her in the hotel the night before the cocktail party.
Reality TV World: So what'd you think?
Robert: I was pleasantly surprised. I'm Italian, so a Mediterranean-looking girl is right up my alley.
Reality TV World: You expressed concern about it possibly being a PR nightmare, but what were your expectations going into the show? Did you go into it looking for a serious relationship?
Robert: I was open to the process of finding a girlfriend or a fiance. In my opinion, the process really does work. It gets you to let down your barrier relatively quickly. I mean you ignore every instinctual reaction you have when it comes to dating. If you were to tell a girl, "Hey, I really like you and I feel a connection for you" on the second date, I think she'd turn tail and run as far and as fast as she can. (laughing) But in that sort of situation, it really does work.
Reality TV World: You made a first impression on DeAnna on the first night when you prepared a crab cocktail for her. Were your culinary skills something you had planned on using to get to know DeAnna better?
Robert: Yeah, it's just something I learned in my romantic escapades. Cooking for a woman is definitely a fantastic way to break the ice.
Reality TV World: So did you think it worked as an advantage over the other guys?
Robert: Maybe not an advantage, but definitely a unique in. Cooking only gets your foot in the door. You've got to make sure it tastes good and you look and sound good in order to walk through it.
Reality TV World: Do you think any of the remaining suitors aren't there for the right reasons?
Robert: I think every single guy left is there for the right reasons. I think the guys who weren't there for the right reasons, it was very obvious on the first night at that first cocktail party. DeAnna did a great job sorting through that.
Reality TV World: In your opinion, which of the six remaining suitors do you think is the best fit for DeAnna?
Robert: It's going to sound very out-of-leftfield on one of them and the other one you're going to say, "That's a great pick." I have to say that Jason is an awesome guy, I think that they would have an awesome relationship together. I think that she would have a lot of fun with Jesse. I think it's going to come down to which life does she want to choose, because she'd have a great life with both of them. I think Jason's going to be a little more safe and secure. I think Jesse is going to be more of a fun, "Hey, let's go to Aspen for the weekend"-kind of relationship.
I think those two would be good for her. I also think she was very into Graham, so Graham could be someone that would be good for her as well. He hasn't been in that long of a relationship before, so I don't know how comfortable she's going to be with that in the long run.
Jeremy... We all think that she's going to end up picking him. Obviously I have no idea who she picks. But if she does pick Jeremy, I think that it's one of those things where she's going to get tired of somebody who when she says, "Jump" he says, "How high?" She needs someone who will challenge her a little bit more.
Reality TV World: Are you currently dating?
Robert: I've dated as of this week.
Reality TV World: Does participating in The Bachelorette change the way you approach dating?
Robert: It really does. It gets you to just kind of cut through all the bullshit, for lack of a better word. You figure out on the first night you're on a date with somebody if it's somebody that you want to have a second date with -- and a third and fourth date with. You don't go straight to 20 questions and give them the third degree, but you definitely don't spend the whole night talking about the weather either.
Reality TV World: So what's next for you?
Robert: I have my web show called The Guys Guide. I'm actively pitching that to a few different national networks that you will have heard of. So I'm trying to get that picked up. It's kind of a cooking show for guys who have no idea what they're doing in their kitchen, but it teaches them recipes that make them look like a god in the kitchen.
My next conquest I think is going to be Top Chef. It's something that I've been watching for a while. I was a little bit iffy about reality television shows, but after The Bachelorette, bring it on baby.