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The Apprentice 5 - Episode 9 Summary

'Give Me Your Tired, Your Poor, Your Whoring Masses' By buckeyegirl
Original Airdate: April 24, 2006

This week's The Apprentice starts with last week's board room, where Leslie, whom I didn't even know was on the show tried to get Lee fired and failed.  Lee goes back to the suite and everyone's happy about it but Charmaine. 

I didn't see that episode so I still don't get why Charmaine doesn't like Lee -- I'm surprised she didn't lock herself in the bedroom and cry like Andrea did when Brent got fired, but I digress.

On to tonight's show, where we begin with a stormy NYC day.  EPMB does love his foreshawdoing in imagery, doesn't he? We then hear Donald gloating to the Ameriquest people how they are going to be meeting with some really smart people, and how absolutely wonderful it's going to be wokring with the kids on this project. Oh gawd...not another episode of Ivanka going "they were really impressive Dad..." like she did the last time she was on the show.

The Donald begins Week 9 by telling Lee that he was lucky to get out of the boardroom alive, and Lee, with some bravado I didn't know he had, mutters "I didn't think it was that close..." The Donald seems impressed by that attitude, and then, I'm sorry but I could've sworn that I heard Mr.T use the word apprenti when describing Don Jr. and, I couldn't have possibly heard that right couild I have? After rewinding the tape I find that he did actually use the word Appenti in a sentence. He must be hanging around Randall way too much these days....and then he plugs that school that I refuse to mention here, because really, how many times an episode does Donald have to mention that he and his kids went to the Whoreton School of Business...oh carp, I mentioned the name, I think we should have a contest to see if anyone can guess hjow many times that school will be mentioned by Donald in this seaosn of The Apprentii.

After promoting everyone known to mankind, I must really need to get my ears checked because I swear that Donald just compared his hotel to being as great if not greater than Ellis Island....yes, he did just say that his hotel was as great as Ellis Island because some magazine that I've never heard of (and I work in the hotel industry) said that his hotel was the best in all the land....and then, what's this?? He's actually comparing Ameriquest's dream to those of the immgrants who came to this country so long ago? The Apprenti's writers really have gone overboard this week in their analogies...and finally at long last we are at this weeks task:

Ameriquest is sponsoring something or other for the Ellis Foundation and the candidates are to take photographs at Ellis Island and with the help of some professional-type people, they are to create a limited edition souvenior brochure of Ellis Island and then sell the brochures, and the team who sells the most wins. And Donald, who can't even be bothered with remembering Gold Rush's name, just says "you people, please start winning, ok? I can't remember your names, but I am sick and tired of seeing you in the boardroom. George and Carolyn were so tired of seeing you there that they requested this week off, and that's why I'm stuck with the kids this week..."

The National Anthem is playing and the flags are waving in the air, and we are in the suite watching what could turn into a full revolt with in Synergy.  Charmaine, whose name I didn't even remember till last week, is bossing Lee around and muttering something about creativity and bulk sales, while he sends Tarek and Michael off to take pictures at the Island. Which is really rather brave of him considering how Tarek manages to screw up everything his Mensa hands touch and how we were led to believe that Michael can't make a decision to save his life.  Lee mutters somthing about not having 9 lives, and if they go to the boardroom one more time The Donald will have his head on a platter.

Onto some more touching music and a sweeping shot of the Ellis Island Musuem, and Alli saying how much winning this task means to her because almost all of her grandparents came through Ellis Island to start their life over, yadda, yadda, yadda...then we see Andrea complaining about how stupid it is to take the tour and how much time they are wasting, and well the only other important thing that happens is that Tammy forgets her notebook at the information desk, and realizes it as the boat to take them back to the island is about to depart, and for some stupid reason Alli goes back with her to find it, and shock of all shocks, they are late getting back to boat and it leaves without them, leaving Andrea the whiner in charge, because as she put it: "I'm the graphics expert."

Alli and Tammy gets back and of course hate everything that has been done, and attempt to salvage the project which ticks off Andrea and she finally leaves the room. Jump to the next day, when we see Gold Rush getting up by the Dawn's Early Light to get the best position at Ellis Island to sell their programs. Synergy gets there and can't believe that Gold Rush, with the Tarek Handicap, has gotten a jump start on them. They decide to sell their programs at the museum, but of course everyone has already gotten theirs while waiting in line to get to the island.  Andrea complains some more, and says out of the blue that she's the queen of bulk sales, and please, oh please, let her make some calls...but by then it's too late, the day is almost over and of course Charmaine gets a call back from the thousand she made the night before.

The Boardroom

Gold Rush loses wins, and I don't know who is more stunned, The Donald, the sibs, Synergy or Robin the receptionist for not having to call them back to the boardroom again...cut to the planning to bamboozle Andrea out of the boardroom. Alli and her posse Tammy and Roxanne are talking about how horrible Andrea is, and Alli who threatens: "There will be blood on the walls, there will be blood on the walls, there will be blood on the walls if she comes back." MacBethHamlet Alli scares Sean so much that he forgets about the threesome he has going with Alli and Roxanne and mumbles something about how maybe, they aren't being fair to Andrea...and Andrea shouts into the room: "I can hear you idiots talking about me, and I sear I will I have my revenge on you.bwahahahhahaa...."

The Reward

Is playing golf with someone who is really famous, but all I can remember is that he makes The Donald look bad at golf, so immediately I like him. Tarek shows of his Mensa abilities by managing to get the perfect shot in one stroke, which impresses everyone but Charmaine, who is still annoyed that they won and Lee couldn't get fired...

Back to the Boardroom

Donald announces that he thought Andrea was a star, and everyone quickly dishes that idea, and without much ado, Andrea is gone, and Donald mentions how proud he is of the kids...most importantly though, I think we got through the entire episode with out hearing Ivanka say how "impressive" a team was. The lesson I learned from this show?? Besides being the only person left in America still watching this show, I discovered that Don Jr. is actually kinda cute... and all I have to say after that comment is that I have truly been brainwashed by EPMB.

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