Previously on The Bachelorette… 29-year-old Trista Rehn has her choice of 25 men. She whittles them down to 15 Then 8 Then 4 Then 3 And now she is down to 2.
And what would a recrap be without witnessing more of: Russ AKA Punka and his stalker tendencies. Brooke – the rodeo clown – and his vineyard full of sour grapes. Bob and his comedic relief (not to mention a glimpse at his new physique).
After a quick intro of all the guys, Chris, our host, sends well wishes to Greg T, who is missing. I wonder why? Snort, snort.
The recap action starts with a few of the guys make comments about the experience from their perspective. Chris asks the guys how they felt about the rose ceremonies. Russ chimes in and tells us that it “feels like you’re a piece of meat” when Trista is making her selections during the rose ceremonies. At this point Russ is called into to hot seat and everyone can tell that the DAW “chiseling” is about to begin. Chris points out that while Russ got the 1st kiss, it may have been the kiss of death. (Insert recap of his dates with Trista here.) We are once again treated to Trista’s “great chemistry” comments about Russ. (I wonder why “stalker” never enters her mind.) Video clips from the guys are shown – in summary they say Russ is: A materialistic, chiseling, cheese ball wacko. (They almost make it sound like he’s in training to take over Michael Jackson’s reign as head freak.) We are then treated to Trista’s realization that Russ is not “the” guy and that she has finally figured out what the rest of America figured out in 2 minutes.
Bob chimes in and reminds all of America that Trista gave Russ the first kiss and that Jamie got DENIED when he wanted the lip lock. (With this one statement we all know that Bob has adequately gotten his revenge for not receiving a rose. If you didn’t love this guy before, you certainly do now. Rock on, Bob.) The boys make more comments about “Russ the Chiseler”.
Russ gets to talk about the experience. One word sums his statements up – DENIAL. Russ tries to defend himself by telling all of America that he isn’t really like that. He was just a character on the show. At this point Russ is reminded that he was playing himself on the show. Russ admits that he did have feelings for her. Russ does a bit of whining, which prompts me to wonder if he needs cheese and crackers to go with his whine.
Time for an audience question: “What happened to you on the fantasy date with Trista?” Russ claims that he wasn’t into it anymore. While all of America screams “LIAR” at their TVs, we get a quick glimpse of the “Trista cam” and she looks surprised at what he is saying. The hot seat goes cold and Punka is kicked back to the peanut gallery.
Cut to commercial…
Chris reminds us all that the 2-hour finale is coming up and then ponders the activities of 15 guys living in a house.
Chris asks Jamie who the biggest camera hog was. Without hesitation he says, “In a good way – Bob.” Chris then asks Bob to come down to the hot seat. The women in the audience get loud. Chris wants to know “what happened to the rest of Bob” and Bob gives Chris his props for making a good fat joke. Recap clips of Bob’s antics and Trista’s admiration of him. We also get to see Bob’s serious side. Then Trista calls Bob the F-word. (The fellows out there know the sting.)
Chris talks to Bob about feelings of rejection and the sting of getting called the F-word. Ob saves pride and says that he felt the same about her. Chris comments on Bob catching heat on the message boards and in the media. We find out that Bob was able to give it back as well as he got it. They start talking about Bob’s weight. Bob gets the award for the quote of the week – “Everybody else was all buffed and ripped and everything else. I was bringing a little something different. Or should I say a lot of something different.” I am loving Bob, the guys are loving Bob, and the crowd is loving Bob. I wouldn’t be surprised if Bob is a future Bachelor.
Time for an audience question: “I was wondering on your last rose ceremony when Trista took you aside and said if she had 5 roses that she would have given the fifth one to you were you crushed or did it make you feel pretty good?”
Bob was diplomatic and said that he took it good and saw it as a heartfelt gesture. Bob also stated that he now tries to “please himself.” The guys laugh hysterically and Bob grins from ear to ear.
Cut to commercial…
Chris welcomes us back and asks “who eats dog food from a 40lb bag?’ That is the cue that Jamie is up and he is called to the hot seat. Jamie goes down and we get a recap of his dates. It is revealed to us that he has an anxiety/panic disorder. Trista read it as a weakness and Jamie sees it as a strength. Blah, blah, blah. (Note to Jamie – there are PLENTY of us that will be willing to help you with your issues…) Jamie looks as cute as ever. “The kiss” came up and Chris is nice enough to point out once again that Jamie got denied when she had already kissed Russ, Ryan and Charlie. Chris then asked the most important question of the show, “Are you dating anyone?” Jamie responds that he is still single. Women around the globe sighed in unison and got warm fuzzies… Chris kicks him out of the hot seat.
The topic then turns to rejection and Chris points out that a lot of guys aren’t used to having the power taken out of their hands. The conversation goes to our cowboy Brooke. Chris says that Brooke was the one guy that confronted Trista and said that America respected him for it. (That’s funny. I remember thinking he was a whiny brat.) Insert recap of Trista’s experience with Brooke.) At the end of the clips the boys give Brooke his props and he is grinning ear to ear. Our cowboy is the local hero amongst the men. Thinks Trista is shallow and pathetic and points out that she could get “shots and stuff.” “Love can conquer anything. That’s what my daddy says.” Chris asks Brooke if he felt that he actually knew her well enough to call her shallow. Now we get the Trista cam at the bottom of our screen. He reminds America of the Greg T. incident where Trista couldn’t see herself with him because his apartment was too small. Trista screws her face up in denial. (Note to Trista – OK honey. We were watching. We now what you said.) Brooke says that he still thinks she’s shallow. Comments that the cowboys at home think he did the right thing. (Ok. Maybe I was hallucinating, but didn’t this guy send Trista a final video message saying that he would get rid of his horses for her? Wah, wah, wah. I think I hear the freaking wahbulance coming for this guy.)