Welcome to the season finale of Who Wants To Marry My Dad 2, the show that seeks to answer the question Can two nearly middle-aged women set aside their differences and share the man whose daughters are unable to choose between them for the affection of their father, further pushing the envelope on an already shaky legal definition of marriage? Or, maybe not, as the previews seem to indicate that, indeed, the girls were able to narrow it down to one woman.
For now, though, there are two women left in the house - Suzanne and Stacy.
It’s Monday, 6:30pm., and the girls and Dad are at the dinner table, waiting for the ladies to join them for their last dinner together. But what’s taking them so long?
Suzanne and Stacy are in their bathroom getting ready, and Suzanne has a concerned look on her face. In fact, she is shaking, and tells Stacy that she’s concerned because though she has tried very hard, she just doesn’t understand Stacy. Stacy asks “is this going to get ugly?” Because if so, she’s going to spend some time working on a few different facial expressions to use for this episode because so far all we've seen is the stoic, worried-looking Stacy expression. Suzanne replies that yes, indeed it will be getting ugly, thank you. The bottom line is Suzanne doesn’t like Stacy and doesn’t think that Stacy is good enough for Marty. Other than that, everything’s fine, let’s go get some dinner.
Suzanne: Do you think you’re the best choice? Stacy: Yes, I do. Suzanne: Well, okay then, sorry I guess I was mistaken.
(it didn’t go down exactly like that, but the whole thing would take too long to explain, and besides, you’ll never know the difference)
They go down to dinner, and the girls – being female – quickly pick up on the fact that Suzanne is upset and ask her why. Stacy tells the girls about the conversation upstairs and they spend the next few minutes discussing Stacy’s sincerity at length. Feelings are shared; inner depths are explored. Marty is looking down at his plate, probably admiring the craftsmanship and wondering if he and his new wife will select a similar china pattern. Anything to avoid being sucked into the current discussion. Finally the hell that is this touchy-feely conversation is over and the fax machine rings. Marty actually seems glad to hear the fax this time. A fax tells us the rings the ladies selected at the start of the show are ready for delivery. They might want to answer the door if it rings.
Incredibly, the doorbell rings. It must be kismet! The ladies answer the door and there is an adorable little girl standing there all dressed up with a white dress and white gloves. She has the ring Suzanne ordered. The sweet little pixie wishes Suzanne good luck and says ”see you at the wedding”. Oh what a cutie pie. I predict she will one day be one of “25 women looking for love”, chosen for the upcoming The Bachelor 85. The doorbell rings again and it’s another ring-bearing little girl. This time it’s for Stacy, but the little girl isn’t nearly as cute as the first, plus, she has a hard time with her lines. Sorry, those are the facts. Wait, the door rings a third time, who could this be? Yes, it’s the lie-detector guy. He’s not nearly as cute as the first girl either. Stacy answers the door, looks at him and says “Sorry, wrong house.” Haw – that was good, Stacy!
Apparently that wasn’t enough to completely discourage him, and Stacy is up first.
Q: If you and my dad were caught in a bear trap, would you gnaw off your leg so you could go for help and save his life? A: Yes (true). Wouldn’t it be easier for her to gnaw off Marty’s leg?
Q: Would you like me as your stepdaughter? A: Yes, (true)
Q: Q: If we don’t pick you, would you give Suzanne your blessing? A: Yes (LIE)
Q: Have you fallen in love with my father? A: YES, (true)
She scored pretty well. Now it’s Suzanne’s turn, and this is her first lie detector, while it was Stacy’s third or fourth time
Q: Suzanne, do you like Stacy? A: No, (true)
Q: Would it be okay if we cut you loose after a year if we don’t think it’s working out? A: YES (lie) And THAT may be one of the all time stupid lie detector answers given.
Q: If you marry my dad, would you expect him to finance your shopping sprees? A: No (LIE) Heh!
Q: Suzanne, have you fallen in love with my father? A: Yes (True)
Well that didn’t help too much, although they at least know their inheritance is in jeopardy if they pick Suzanne.