The Casino - Episode 3 Summary

'Young, Blonde and Stupid, or Who I did on my summer vacation' By wildchickenhunter

In the opening credits we find out once again that Tim and Tom are dot com millionaires. They have decided that along with fox they would buy a casino and make a really crappy reality T.V. show. Yadda, Yadda, Yadda, mob connections, temporary license. O.K., you already know all that.

For those of you that didn’t see last week we had a high roller, Geoff Mills and his posse show up and lose a bunch of money. Losing made them mad so the tore up a bunch of cards. This made Tom mad. Tom made them stop tearing up cards so they left. They then came back, played some golf and left. Wow, just writing that was more exciting than the show. Oh and a young couple showed up and got propositioned by some swingers. The couple went out with the swingers for a few drinks and a little dancing. Then went back to the swingers room for the orgy. At this point the young couple decided it wasn’t for them and left…. If this show gets any more exciting I don’t know how I will contain myself.

We open the show with a shot of a blonde driving a jeep through the desert. She tells us she is from Oregon and her name is Jenn. I will refer to her as “apprentice hooker” from here on out. She is on her way to Vegas to start a new life. She has money to last a week (I figure this means she has at least $100) and after her money is gone she will need a job. She makes it clear she is willing to “do anything”.

Considering these scenes are obviously shot from a helicopter and have been planned out months in advance, I wonder, is there anything in this “reality” show that is not scripted?

We cut to Tim and Tom talking about “High Rollers” again. They hear about some guys, John and Mike, who are on the strip and they are high rollers and they think they can get them in to come to the Golden Nugget if they send a vintage Cadillac. Wow! It actually works. In the next unscripted scene we see John and Mike in the Cadillac driving through a slum. Run down burnt out houses, pawn shops and adult book stores. They talk about how they are only going to the golden nugget to get some strange. Now I don’t know if that was a slip of the tongue or if they meant something else, but that is what I heard.

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The apprentice hooker arrives at the Golden Nugget. The bell hops fall all over them selves trying to carry her luggage. Obviously the bellhops figure that the fastest way to get laid in Vegas is to carry luggage good (of course I mean “carry luggage well”).

Next we are shown John and Mike being shown their suite. They are thoroughly unimpressed. They ask about the view. Woooosh, the drapes are opened and we are shown the magnificent view of a dirt field. John laughs about the view and request the blinds be closed. You have to love “High Rollers” they are so easy to please.

We cut back to our apprentice hooker. She is now checking in to the Golden Nugget. Right, that’s a good plan. I am going to show up in Vegas with $100 and check into the Golden Nugget. Come on, there are motels on the edge of town that charge $25 a night. Plus in the cheap motels there will be some truckers around to help her supplement her income. But, no, she is going to check into the Nugget.

Folks, this is not a reality show. This is not a scripted reality show. It is just scripted!

While checking in she asks the desk person about work. She reiterates that she will do anything. Does this dumb c*nt, sorry, apprentice hooker not understand that she is in Vegas! How do people this stupid live to be old enough to drive and how do they pass the drivers test? Oh, yeah, they “do anything” with the driving test guy.

So she is told she is too pretty to be a cocktail waitress by the check in clerk. And of course the check in clerk should know because, well, because she is a check in clerk. I know whenever I want career advice I usually start with the check in clerk at a local hotel.

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