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Meet My Folks - Episode 3 Summary

'Meet My Monkey Folks' By AMAI
Original Airdate: January 25, 2003

There's a good five minutes worth of recapping the previous two instalments of this round of Meet My Monkey Folks. Mom and Dad have cut loose the 5 smartest, most beautiful and therefore least deserving to be stuck with Monkey Boy in Europe for however long it is this trip of a summertime is supposed to be.

The three girls who have been deemed beautiful by monkey standards are Stefanie, Chelsea and Tawny.

It's a Friday. 4:45 at the PhoneyMaloney home. I'm having a hard time buying that these folks are "real" people, and not long-unemployed actors finally getting their mini-break.

Each girl summarises the situation. Chelsea generously says all three girls have a chance, Stefanie is self-absorbed and figures that she has a chance. Tawny could care less about "chances" -- she wants to introduce Dan to her mom. I wonder if it's because her mom is into teaching young simians the facts of life.

No expense has been spared! The fax machines are restocked with paper and ready for another busy episode. The girls' machine spits out tonight's first message. While preparing dinner, each girl must complete a "secret" task so that Mom is aware of the actions.

One girl is to sneeze twice into the food. Another must drop food on the floor and then make as if she's going to just scoop it back onto the serving platter. The third girl must take several bites of something and return it to the platter.

Sounds like the girls are trying to prove they have what it takes to join the Monkey Family. They decide among themselves which task they'll do.

Cut to the kitchen. Mom is enjoying preparing dinner with the girls. There's an air of expectancy. We know and the girls know what's about to happen but Mom is clueless. Situation normal. Stef does her first taste-testing. "Mmm, I think the chicken is ready!" Mom seems slightly taken aback but scolds as nicely as she can that that is not how to test if the chicken is done.

Chelsea is working hard on her salad. Atchooo! Mom is a little worried now. Oh dear, more food into the garbage! :lol

Tawny is busy with the gnocchi. She has to wait until Mom is watching her to make sure she sees her drop it. Tawny shifts from one leg to another holding her platter. Finally Mom glances in her general direction and then "oops." :lol. "The floor's clean, we can still eat it right?" :lol Mom continues to maintain her cool, making allowances and "these things happen" comments.

At dinner, Mom diminishes the extent of the mishaps as she tells Dad and Dan that making dinner was a lot of fun, although one item 'got away.' A moment later a fax comes and fills Mom and Dad in about the producers' nasty assignments.

Since Chelsea sneezed into the food twice, Stefanie took her three bites of three different pieces of chicken and Tawny dropped the gnocchi on the floor and scooped it back into the platter, all three girls are to be allowed to go on their private date with Dan. Mom is relieved to hear that none of the girls would normally behave like this. I'm stunned that Mom isn't railing against the producers for potentially endangering the health of her family. Things like this make me think this isn't a real family.

Door bell rings. This show is just non-stop action, isn't it? Aren't you breathless from all the excitement? Three cribs, each bearing a computerized crying baby, are on the front porch. Oh gawd. Just poke me in the eye and put me out of my misery.

The note tells the girls to take care of one of these toys from hell to show Mom and Dad how good of a mom they can be. Tawny says, "I think I'm allergic to kids." Ha!

Chelsea tells us that she's the only one who is into it. Stefanie and Tawny have already decided they're not ready for kids. In fact, Stef doesn't even know if she wants kids period. Not that I can blame her. This segment seems designed to turn all of us off of having children.

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