'The Bachelorette' recap: Rachel Lindsay dumps 8 bachelors but gives roses to "tickle monster" and "whaboom" guys
By Elizabeth Kwiatkowski, 05/23/2017
The Bachelorette star Rachel Lindsay eliminated her first eight bachelor suitors during Monday night's premiere broadcast of the ABC reality dating series' thirteenth season.
Robert "Rob" Howard, a 30-year-old law student from Houston, TX; Grant Hubsher, a 29-year-old emergency medicine physician from New York City, NY; Mohit Sehgal, a 26-year-old product manager from Pacifica, CA; Kyle, a 26-year-old marketing consultant from Los Angeles, CA; Blake Killpack, a 29-year-old U.S. Marine veteran from San Francisco, CA; Jedidiah Ballard, a 35-year-old ER physician from Augusta, GA; Michael Black, a 26-year-old former professional basketball player from Chicago, IL; and Milton, a 31-year-old hotel recreation supervisor from North Bay Village, FL, all failed to receive a rose from the 32-year-old attorney from Dallas, TX.
The Bachelorette's Season 13 premiere began with Rachel talking about her journey ahead, how she had to take her "lawyer hat" off and put the love hat on. She called herself "sweet and sour," and also "sassy but classy."
Rachel explained how she did fall in love with The Bachelor star Nick Viall but waited too long to express her feelings. Rachel therefore intended to stay vulnerable and keep her walls down for The Bachelorette process.
A series of short packages then aired to introduce America to a handful of this season's hopefuls.
Kenny Layne, a 35-year-old professional wrestler from Las Vegas, NV, has won wrestling championships and said he's ready to win Rachel's heart. Kenny revealed he has a bubbly 10-year-old daughter Mackenzie whom he adores.
Jack Stone, a 32-year-old attorney from Dallas, TX, explained how his mother had passed away when he was in high school, and losing her eventually made him realize that he'd love to have a big family someday.
Alex Bordyukov, a 28-year-old information systems supervisor from Grosse Pointe Park, MI, admitted that people stereotype him as a "meathead" but he's very family oriented and considers himself a nerd who loves science, math and solving Rubik's Cubes.
Mohit loves dancing Bollywood while spending time with his large family, while Lucas Yancey, a 30-year-old "whaboom" from Santa Monica, CA, explained that it's appropriate to yell "whaboom" at any time or celebration to express excitement and happiness.
While saying "whaboom," Lucas violently shakes his head and body. It quickly became clear he'd be a character on this season of The Bachelorette, and he hoped Rachel would understand his humor.
Blake Elarbee, a 31-year-old aspiring drummer from Marina del Rey, CA, told the cameras his last relationship was sex driven, and while sex is very important, he also wanted to get to know Rachel. Blake E. bragged about how he has a PhD in the topic of sex and that women often compliment his "amazing penis."
And then there was Kenneth "Diggy" Moreland, a 31-year-old senior inventory analyst from Chicago, IL, who said he loves fashion and owns 575 pairs of sneakers. He mentioned how he'd have really cute kids with Rachel.
Josiah Graham, a 28-year-old prosecuting attorney from Ft. Lauderdale, FL, then revealed his remarkable story. His older brother Sam had been bullied in school for being overweight and eventually hung himself in the backyard of his family's home.
Josiah cut him down from the tree at age seven and became a trouble maker, committing crimes, in order to fill that void in his life.
Once he was arrested for burglary at age 12, Josiah was told that he's not "a thug," nor was he the type of person who wanted to live that type of life, so Josiah worked really hard to become a prosecutor and help the community he grew up in.
Alexis, who met Nick in a "shark" costume, told Rachel not to write off guys who show up in costume because they could be awesome.
Jasmine and Alexis said they liked Eric Bigger, a 29-year-old personal trainer from Los Angeles, CA, when he introduced himself to Rachel on After the Final Rose, and then Raven noted how she liked DeMario Jackson, a 30-year-old executive recruiter from Century City, CA, from that night.
However, Whitney warned Rachel that Sarah Vendal from Nick's season knew DeMario from college and did not believe his intentions were pure for dating on the show.
To sum the conversation up, Rachel's "squad" advised her to let herself fall in love, relinquish control over the situation, and be open with her emotions.
Night 1 of filming then arrived and Rachel waited for the limos to arrive, standing in front of the Bachelor mansion in Los Angeles wearing a long, sparkly white gown. Her hair was long and curly, and Rachel stood there with a beaming smile on her face. She had confessed to Chris Harrison she was nervous when she's rarely nervous in life.
When the first limo pulled up, the men could be heard saying Rachel looked "sexy as hell" and "stunning."
Peter Kraus, a 31-year-old personal trainer and business owner from Madison, WI, was first out of the limo, and Rachel noted to the cameras he was "cute" when he walked away. Peter later told some of the guys in the house that he shares the same "gap teeth" Rachel has.
"We're off to a good start," Rachel gushed.
Josiah related to Rachel using legal terms when he said she'll have "no reasonable doubt" at the end of her journey that he's the man for her.
Bryan Abasolo, a 37-year-old chiropractor from Miami, FL, then suggested to Rachel he's the good kind of trouble, especially because she has never dated a Colombian man. Bryan called Rachel a "triple threat" later that night because she boasts "brains, beauty and personality."
After Kenny made Rachel laugh with a dance move, Will Gaskins, a 28-year-old sales manager from Miami, FL, came out of the limo dressed as Steve Erkel from Family Matters, sparking a laugh from Rachel. He then went back inside the limo to change into his normal attire. and then changed.
Rachel said her group of men was totally exceeding her expectations.
Brady Ervin, a 29-year-old male model from Miami, FL, walked up to Rachel and "broke the ice" by hitting a giant ice block with a sledgehammer, and then Blake E. arrived playing the drums behind a huge marching band.
Fred Johnson, a 27-year-old executive assistant from Dallas, TX, showed Rachel his yearbook to remind her that they knew each other from childhood. When he was in third grade, Rachel was in eighth grade and served as his camp counselor one time.
Fred has apparently had a crush on Rachel since that time, but Rachel couldn't seem to get over the fact he was "a very bad kid" back then.
Jonathan Treece, a 31-year-old "tickle monster" from New Smyrna Beach, FL, tickled the Bachelorette to get a laugh.
Milton brought a vacuum with him pretending to be a part of the cleaning crew; Grant showed up in an ambulance and just out of the back of it; Adam Gottschalk, a 27-year-old real estate agent from Dallas, TX, brought a dummy with him named AJ; and Matthew "Matt" Munson, a 32-year-old construction sales representative from Meriden, CT, dressed like a penguin because he knew that Rachel loves penguins.
At the cocktail party that night, the men fought for time with Rachel and attempted to make great first impressions on her. Josiah stole Rachel away first, making a move other men deemed "aggressive" and he told the Bachelorette they had a lot in common.
Dean Unglert, a 26-year-old startup recruiter from Venice, CA, and Rachel built a sandcastle outside of the mansion, and Rachel told the cameras there was definitely potential to find love out of her group of men.
At one point, she told a suitor that she would be willing to move for love because being in a relationship is all about sacrifice and commitment.
Rachel was impressed with all of her suitors, but she was especially smitten with Bryan, who spoke Spanish to her right out of the limo. He told her that he didn't come on the show to waste her time since he's 37-years-old and that he's the good kind of trouble. Rachel was turned on by his mystery and edge, and then the couple engaged in a steamy kiss.
Rachel didn't expect to kiss anyone on the first night, but she said she definitely enjoyed it.
As Lucas was running around "whabooming" all night, the men all seemed to agree he wasn't on the show for the right reasons. Blake E. was especially annoyed with Lucas and eventually called him out for not being on The Bachelorette to find love.
Blake E. called Lucas the guy at the family reunion who "pinches people's nipples" and plans whoopie cushions underneath them.
In a move that wasn't a surprise, Rachel decided to give her First Impression Rose that night to Bryan. She told the bachelor she appreciated how direct he was and how he took control of their conversation at the cocktail party. His good looks and compliments in Spanish didn't hurt either. Bryan snuck in one more kiss once he received the rose.
At the Rose Ceremony that night, DeMario and Josiah were very confident they'd be receiving a rose from Rachel. In fact, DeMario was certain he was going to win the whole thing.
Rachel then handed out roses in the following order: Peter; Will; Jack; Jamey Kocan, a 32-year-old sales account executive from Santa Monica, CA; Ignacio "Iggy" Rodriguez, a 30-year-old consulting firm CEO from Chicago, IL; Eric; DeMario; Jonathan; Bryce Powers, a 30-year-old firefighter from Orlando, FL; Alex; Kenny; Dean; Matt; Anthony Battle, a 26-year-old education software manager from Chicago, IL; Brady; Josiah; Lee Garrett, a 30-year-old singer and songwriter from Nashville, TN; Diggy; Fred; Adam, without his dummy AJ; Blake E.; and finally Lucas.
The eliminated men were shocked and disappointed Lucas won a rose over them when he was acting crazy all night and arrived at the cocktail party in a T-shirt.