Survivor 50 castaway Benjamin "Coach" Wade has explained why he came out of retirement to compete on the show's milestone season.

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"When they first called me, I thought, 'Should I go?' I'm a very spiritual person, so of course, I prayed about it," Coach, 54, shared with Us Weekly ahead of the Season 50 premiere.

"I didn't feel convinced I should go. And in the back of my mind, and I was very clear with the powers [that] be, I'm not going to say yes to [Season 50.]"

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Coach insisted he "officially retired" after his Survivor: South Pacific stint in 2011 as has been "hiding out" in Northern California ever since.

But as Coach sat with his decision to skip Season 50, he apparently began questioning whether he had made the right move.

"Regret is probably one of the strongest emotions that we have. [It] sits around the corner of our mind after the fact and whispers little lies of what we should have done or what we could have done," Coach explained.

"So I started thinking about that regret. Would I eventually regret not saying yes?"

Coach therefore admitted he "shifted" his train of thought and had a change of heart.

When Survivor came calling again, Coach said he chose to make some sacrifices and join the Season 50 cast, not only to avoid regret but also to play for his family.

Coach -- who welcomed three children with wife Jessica Newton, whom he married in December 2011 -- said he's grown a lot over the years and looked forward to playing Survivor again as a new man.

"I'm in a great spot in my life. I'm very content. I'm not that ego-driven person that you saw on the screen the last few times," Coach insisted.

"I feel grounded, and I want to share that with the world. The world can be, sometimes, a dark place, and I want to share those fundamental truths that I feel, that I've learned over the last decade and a half."

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Coach noted that being a "family man" has made him a better person, and so he told Us that fans shouldn't expect to see the "polarizing" character he once was on Season 50.

The self-described "dragon slayer" explained, "I look at the mistakes I've made in the past -- my lack of fluidity, when I became very rigid, making promises that I couldn't keep standing on at times, a false sense of honor and integrity, not admitting to just having to manipulate or lie to people occasionally," he reflected.

"I'm not going to throw that out the window, but I think in the right clothing... I've got a good chance to make it deep."

Coach described the "right clothing" as being "fluid," aligning with people his opponents wouldn't expect him to, and evolving throughout the game.

However, viewers saw a glimpse of the old Coach on Survivor's Season 50 premiere on Wednesday night.

Coach and his former rival Ozzy Lusth apologized to each other for their past feud on Survivor: South Pacific, but then Coach made a controversial move.

Althoug Ozzy had fought for about 40 minutes to retrieve a key at the end of a difficult competition for tribal supplies, Coach stole the key right out from underneath him.

"I had hoped in my heart of hearts that after the moment Coach and I had -- when we talked about sportsmanship and honor and all that -- that Coach was going to do what I think is the right thing," Ozzy complained to the Survivor cameras.

"But Coach decided that he was going to be cutthroat. He's going to play a cutthroat game and he's going to win at all costs. And his word doesn't really mean too much."

Coach, for his part, boasted about having slayed a dragon on Day 1, and he called his victory against Ozzy "euphoric."

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Coach said he'd have no problem being ruthless, as long as he remained honorable.

"This is Coach 4.0 here," Coach bragged.

Prior to appearing on Survivor: South Pacific -- the show's 23rd season -- Coach had competed on Season 18 dubbed Survivor: Tocantins, and Season 20 titled Survivor: Heroes vs. Villains.

Now that Survivor 50's premiere has aired, the show will return to its normal 90-minute timeslot on Wednesday nights at 8PM ET/PT on CBS.


About The Author: Elizabeth Kwiatkowski

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