Giuliana Rancic: Breast cancer hasn't changed me, I'm still shallow
By Elizabeth Kwiatkowski, 03/16/2012
Giuliana Rancic says her breast cancer battle hasn't changed her and she's still the same "shallow" person she was before.
"My first day back [to work], I walked in and these girls I'd seen everyday -- my assistant, my hair and makeup girls, who I'd have fun with and be crazy with -- all had this sad look in their eyes. It was like, 'Hey, guys, cut the bullsh-t. I'm the exact same person I was before. I'm still shallow, I still love clothes, I still want to talk fashion, I still want to gossip, so lay it on me.,'" the E! News host and Giuliana & Bill star toldGlamour magazine in a recent interview with her husband Bill Rancic.
Rancic -- who originally revealed her breast cancer last fall -- returned to work in December just two weeks after she underwent a double mastectomy and reconstructive surgery when prior attempts at radiation treatment didn't eradicate her cancerous mass.
Before driving to work on December 27, Rancic told Glamour she had "emailed the wardrobe girl at E! and asked her, 'Can you find anything that zips up, that's easy to put on?' So I was wearing a surgical bra under these designer clothes. It didn't matter. I was just happy to be in my element, to feel normal again. I'll be totally honest. While I was recovering, I was thinking, 'I'm really going to be asking people what they're wearing?' I didn't know if I could find the joy in it again. But it didn't take long."
During the recovery process at home, Rancic fought to overcome her "shallowness," because she was "terrified" to face her new body, and as a result, avoiding doing so for quite some time.
"At first I didn't want to look in the mirror, because I felt like, 'I'm getting better every day and this is about my health, so I shouldn't get bogged down by what I see in the mirror.' I knew I wasn't going to look like a bikini model, so why look? Why even put the image in my head? Then one night before we went to bed, I was in the bathroom changing, and I decided I wanted to see what I was dealing with, and I wanted to do it alone. So I unzipped and just looked," Rancic explained.
"Then I called Bill into the bathroom because I was torn. There were scars and bruising and part of me felt terrified, but part of me felt like, 'Hey, they actually don't look as bad as I thought.' I didn't know whether to cry or be happy. I think I started going into a little bit of shock."
Rancic told Glamour that she worried her husband would "hate" her new breasts at the time, but Bill Rancic insisted he thought they looked great.
"He said, 'Are you OK?' I was just staring at them, and I said, 'They're not bad, huh?' And he said, 'Honey, they're amazing.' I had thought I was going to be terrified of what I saw; I thought I would look like a monster. So that was good. And every day I turned a corner," Rancic added.
Rancic said she believes that everything happens for a reason, including why she initially got her job at E! News.
"So many have written us or tweeted us, 'Hey, I finally got my wife to go in for her first mammogram,' or 'Got checked out, thank you.' Not one or two but thousands. And it resulted in three girls in their thirties who I know about, friends of friends, finding out they had cancer. We've been given this incredible platform, and we think it was for a reason. I truly believe that," Rancic explained.
"When I got my job at E!, I was the thirty-ninth person who auditioned. I wasn't the prettiest, I wasn't the smartest, I wasn't the most talented. And I always wondered why I got the job. Now I think God knew I wouldn't be a selfish little cow with this platform, and I'd actually try to do something good with it."
Also during their interview with Glamour, Rancic and her husband said they still plan on having children whether it means undergoing more fertility treatments or ultimately adopting. The couple also intends to vacation as much as possible this year and renew their wedding vows this September for their five-year anniversary.
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