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Battle of the Network Reality Stars - Episode 3 Summary

'RIP Team Wife Beater' By volsfan
Original Airdate: August 31, 2005

If you haven’t been watching these DAWs you have been missing out on some great snarking moments. Please read LibraRising’s Episode 1 and Estee’s Episode 2 summaries to get caught up.

The teasers tell us that DunkNut and Charla were booted with Gervase/Tina replacing them on the red team. The light blue received 2 new DAWs (Jerri Manthey of Survivor and David Daskal of Average Joe). We are also teased that a complete team will be eliminated at the end of the day.

Mike Adamle greets us as he is overlooking Malibu California. Isn’t Mikey over 120 years old? The man has to be getting old but he has been pickled well. I guess he uses the same pickling agent as Casey Kasem and Dique Clark.

Since the teams have been shuffled let’s review:

The Red Team: Team Whoral

• Will Wikle: Big Brother
• Coral (Whoral) Smith: The Real World
• Gervase Petterson: Survivor
• Adam Mesh: Average Joe
• Evan Marriott: Joe Millionaire
• Rachel Fraser: The Swan
• Melissa Howard: The Real World
• Tina Panas (I refuse to call her fabulous): The Bachelor

One challenge is going to be a relay race with 6 competing from each team. Evan Millionaire has taken the floor and is demanding that he, Will and Gervase need to be separated as one in the front, middle and the end. I don’t know how long it has been since he shaved but Evan Joe has a squirrel growing on his lower lip. The little patch of madness has hair at least and inch long growing from his skin.

Meanwhile, over at The Dark Blue Team -- Team Miz:

• Bradford Cohen: The Apprentice
• Dique Hatch: Survivor
• Ryan Star: American Idol
• Mirna Hindoyan: The Amazing Race
• Heidi Bressler: The Apprentice
• Burton Roberts: Survivor
• Mike “The Miz” Mizanin: The Real World

They are strategizing on who will be playing football. The Miz is asking Dique if he can catch a football. Dique says he thinks he can catch. Um…a gay man “thinks” he can catch? Of course the man can catch if the other guy is good looking. Come on…that is a no brainer.

The Light Blue Team -- Team Wife Beater:

• Brittany Power: Americas Next Top Model
• Mike “Boogie” Malin: Big Brother
• Jerri Manthey: Survivor
• Jonathon Wife Beater and Victoria: The Amazing Race
• Wendy Pepper: Project Runway
• David Daskal: Average Joe
• Chris “Pierced Nips” Russo: The Apprentice

Jonathon has to know how much everyone weighs as they prepare for the soapbox derby. Jerri says that she is good at building and using power tools. Jerri honey…this challenge isn’t about using THOSE types of tools! I am sure she has seen her fair shore of all shapes and sizes of tools but I would never think she could use a tool that doesn’t take batteries

The Green Team -- Team Chip:

Matt Gould: The Joe Schmo Show
Susan Hawk: Survivor
Will Kirby: Big Brother
Chip & Kim: The Amazing Race
Nikki McKibbin: American Idol
Theo Vonbustyournuts (I am not even going to try): Real World
Brian Worth: Average Joe

Matt proclaims that he will be QB for the women and receiver for the men during the football challenge. Chip questions Matt’s ability after he (Matt) told everyone that he was good at jousting but lost his match. I think Theo is one of the best looking guys on the show but I get lost on trying to type and/or pronounce his last name. Why not just go by Theo Von? Poor kid.

We go to the video vault and see a Penny Marshall clip catching a winning pass for her team back in 1976 during the football challenge. This is the perfect lead in to the challenge and the introduction of the guest referee. Who is it? Let me give you a hint:

Look at what's happened to me,
I can't believe it myself.
Suddenly I'm up on top of the world,
It should've been somebody else.

Believe it or not,
I'm walking on air.
I never thought I could feel so free-.
Flying away on a wing and a prayer.
Who could it be?
Believe it or not it's just me.

It's like a light of a new day-,
It came from out of the blue.
Breaking me out of the spell I was in,
Making all of my wishes come true-.

Believe it or not,
I'm walking on air.
I never thought I could feel so free-.
Flying away on a wing and a prayer.
Who could it be?
Believe it or not it's just me.

Hey, I had to suffer through the DAWs singing it and putting in my head and you guys can suffer to! But, that is right folks…William “The Greatest American Hero” Katt. William comes out and we are shown a picture of him in his little skintight red suit and I want to know what happened to the curly hair? This takes me back to a scene on Meet Mister Mom a couple of weeks ago where the dad had to iron his daughter’s hair. I hope that is what has happened to Willie. Other than the hair Willie has aged fairly well but not as well as Mike Adamle.

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