We are back for this week’s edition of “Hit Me Baby One More Time” or “The Battle of the VH1’s Behind the Music Stars.” Vernon Kay comes in announces the performers.
Last time we heard from the Knack, Winona Ryder, Ethan Hawke, Janeane Garofalo, and Steve Zahn were singing it in a convenience store in “Reality Bites”. They are now been relaxing and writing new songs.
They did their hit song “My Sharona” as their first song. They look like they should be on “Monty Python.” No wonder President Bush likes them. But they were as good as they were in the ‘70’s, only with a little less energy.
They did their rendition of “Are You Gonna be My Girl?” by Jet for their second song. It’s a bit high for the singer. It was okay. Not the best performance by the Knack.
Last time we heard from Haddaway, his song with inspired the box office bomb called “Night at the Roxsbury”. Now he is in Los Angeles playing golf. More than likely with O.J.
His first song was his hit “What is Love?” (#58 on the VH1’s One Hit Wonders). It took me 2 years to get that song out of my head, so I wasn’t looking forward to hearing it again. He has the Buhwheet hair tonight, but has very attractive dancers with him. He sings just like he did back then. Now I have to sing the “Hawaii 5-0” theme song to get rid of that song. Trust me, it works.
His second song was “Toxic” by Britney Spheres. It was like Percy Sledge was doing Britney. Definitely karaoke style with beautiful female dancers. (How much money did he spend on them?) It was okay, but not my taste.
Last time we heard from Tommy Tutone, their song was featured in a cell phone commercial for a woman named Jenny. I would feel sorry for her, because of all those cell charges. They are now in Portland, OR. Lead singer Jimmy James is now a software engineer for a financial company. Now his numbers are 10110101011.
Their first song was “867-5309 Jenny” (#59 on the VH1’s One Hit Wonders). James looks like Jimmy Buffett’s and magician Teller’s love child. They still got it. Got it, Got it.
They did worst on their second song, which was “All the Small Things” by Blink 182. It was like Charles Nelson Riley was singing it. Try to be aggressive, but as aggressive as a kitten, in Simon Cowell’s words. Not good at all. Goofy in a bad way.
Last time we saw The Motels, they were on “Bands Reunited.” I guess they stayed together. Martha is now doing a Cabaret Circus and going to record a new album with the Motels.
Their first song was “Only the Lonely”. Martha Davis came up separate from the band, like a true front woman. She looks like a middle aged Loretta Lynn. She still has the warm voice that we remember. No sides of fading from anyone tonight.
Their second song was “Don’t Know Why” by Nora Jones. Same words, different music. More upbeat and rock. The version was good, but Martha wasn’t very smooth singing it. Tried to be punk, but just wasn’t.
Last time we saw Vanilla Ice, he was trying to get Gary Coleman to say “Whatcha talkin ‘bout Willis?” on "The Surreal Life." He has been in Dallas, TX cutting new raps. Which previewed his second song.
He did Ice Ice Baby (#7 on VH1’s one hit wonders), if you couldn’t guess. He did it on “The Surreal Life”, although wanting to get rid of it on MTV, destroying the master tape on an MTV set. More aggressive version of the song. He had a brother dancing behind him—he was pretty good. The DJ was OK, although he flubbed a few times.
His second choice was an interesting one, Survivor by Destiny’s Child. Great version of it. Again aggressive, more gansta believe it or not. Not the same lyrics either. It was a new cut from his new album actually.
After a better than average night, the audience picked Vanilla Ice. He gets $20,000 for Make a Wish Foundation. (Was it $25,000 last week?) I agree this time, as he has transcended from no reputation white boy to aggressive and angry white man.
Next week we have Sophie B. Hawkins, Wang Chung, Cameo ,Irene Cara, and one more surprise guest, as we head to the next episode of “Hit Me Baby One More Time.” For now, this is Flairdog turning off the mics and turning down the lights.