The Will - Episode 1 Summary

'I’d Bet the Ranch…' By ARnutz

Moving on…

We are introduced to the host of the show Tony Noakes who tells us that each of the heirs will be tested to figure out who is the most deserving through a series of mental and physical challenges. We are then introduced to Bill through a video diary where he tells us exactly what he’s looking for in the heirs; aggressiveness, tenacity and honesty. Sounds good! I guess he’s really trying to see who is worthy of taking over the ranch. Let's see how this works.

The heirs take their turns arriving at the mansion (which I read somewhere is not even located in Kansas, it is somewhere about 50 miles from L.A.) in assorted vehicles which (I guess) are supposed to be related to their personalities? My mind was wandering at this point in the show already so I didn’t think to make note of each different vehicle, but Penny zipped up in a sports car, Scott arrived in a Hummer, Mickey came in a pick-up truck and Josh motored up on some jap bike! Let’s meet the heirs:

• Penny – Bill 4th wife: (here’s a clue Bill, if you are on your 4th wife do you think there could be something wrong with you?) she is the co-owner of two freaky deaky clothing stores in Scottsdale. One is called Electric Ladyland and the other is more aptly named Floozy! Ahhhh… a small clue into Penny’s personality!

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• Billy – Bill’s son and only blood relative: he thinks he deserves to win because he is the one who grew up spending summers on the ranch and would like to keep it in the family for his children.

• Bette – Penny’s mother and Bill’s mother-in-law: she is as old as Bill! Perhaps they were friends in high school or something? I’ll reserve my judgment for now, but historically there has not been a lot of favorable son-in-law/mother-in-law relationships!

• Ashley – Penny’s son/Bill’s stepson: you might expect that Ashley is a girl… WRONG! He really, really needs a haircut!

• Kristin – Ashley’s ex-girlfriend: she is also known as mini-Penny. (OK, this could be good! Penny’s attitude is a little like Dr. Evil!) Let’s see: implants… check! botox… check! fake blonde hair… check! Hey, why doesn’t Bill just marry her next? She could be shooting for Mrs. Bill #5!

• Scott – Penny’s brother/Bill’s brother-in-law: he manages some of Bill’s condos, no doubt Penny had something to do with that!

• Danielle – she is Bill and Penny’s “beloved, loyal, trusted” employee. Please remember this description for future reference! It’s easy to tell her apart from the others because she is the only female with dark hair!

• Mickey – Bill’s lifelong friend: what? You say you’ve been friends for 20 years? How is it that 20 years is considered lifelong? I don’t understand this fuzzy, new math! He is considered the wildcard of the show and the other heirs will “supposedly” be vying for his alliance with them.

• Crystal – the family friend: one of the few who actually say they would keep the ranch. It’s obvious she doesn’t belong here! I bet she’s not an heir, she just plays one on TV.

• Josh –the adopted/surrogate son: he came from a broken home and is Billy’s best friend. They grew up together and Bill took him under his wing and took care of him.

So everybody is in the mansion and we are shown the scheming and forming of alliances already. Penny seems to have control of most of the house as she is jabbering with Bette, Scott, Ashley and Kristin. She tells her group that Mickey is the wildcard and they must do anything they can to get him on their side. Penny even goes as far as to tell Kristin to prostitute herself to Mickey to win him over. Oh boy!!! This could be good! Meanwhile, in one of the bedrooms Billy, Josh and Mickey are discussing what they have to do to win and how they will be watching out for each other. Brak… brak… brak…

Next up, the first challenge!

The heirs are told that whoever wins the challenge will get the honor of wearing Bill’s ring. The power of the ring is that person has the advantage of being safe from elimination and they get to start what is called “the inheritance chain”. During the inheritance chain the winner selects an heir they would like to save, then that person selects the next one in the chain and so on until there is only one person left. The last person left who is not selected has to leave the twilight zone mansion and they are cut from The Will. {Really this means that Bill will just cross their name off the piece of paper.}

The heirs find piggy banks and are told to meet outside for their first challenge. {Why do I have a flashback to Big Brother? Oh good! They are not painting those pigs!} It is an endurance challenge and the rules are:

1. they must put 1 hand on the safe
2. no other body parts can touch the safe
3. they must keep their palm on the safe at all times
4. they must hold on to the piggy bank
5. they can not leave to go to the bathroom

Here is the order of elimination: Crystal, Billy, Mickey, Bette, Kristin, Danielle, Scott, then we are left with the final three: Ashley, Penny and Josh. For what seems like an eternity, the three stand with their palms on the safe until Ashley tries to make a deal with Josh. Ashley says that if Josh promises to save him first, he will give up now. Josh agrees. {stupid, stupid boy} So Josh and Penny are left and it’s been about 13 hours now. Penny proceeds to make a deal with Josh saying, “If I let you win, you will save me and then next time you win you have to promise to save Ashley.” Josh agrees. What is wrong with this guy? So Josh wins the ring and will have the power to start the inheritance chain.

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