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Outback Jack - Episode 7 Summary

'Can’t I Just Keep All Three?' By MTW1961
Original Airdate: August 3, 2004

Hello everyone and welcome back to Australia and Outback Jack. This is week 7, which is a freaking eternity for a dating show nowadays, but thankfully, the end is finally in sight. Only three girls remain in the Outback with Jack – Maria, Natalie, and Marissa. What shocking twists are in store this week? Will the girls have to feel up any more animals? Will one of the girls voluntarily leave the Outback for good when she discovers she’s out of makeup? Read on to find the answers to these and other questions.

As we join Jack and the girls, they are riding their horses to the next camp. Natalie tells us she needs to express more to Jack. Maria says its hard to be friends with these girls while she has feelings for Jack, and Marissa tells us she’ll be the last one standing. What is she, a boxer? Newsflash Marissa, if you’re the last one it won’t be because of what you can do on your feet!

Jack tells us he’s impressed with how the girls have adapted to the outback. They are doing things naturally that they wouldn’t have done when they first got there. Natalie confirms this, telling us she’s doing things she never thought she could. Just to prove a point, Jack decides its time to take a break from horse riding and have a little snack. He introduces the girls to some tasty Australian ants that have a sweet and sour taste. They are supposed to eat its a$$! All the girls try. It tastes like chicken. Sweet and sour chicken! The girls seem to agree this is a unique experience since they’re used to kissing butt, not eating it.

They arrive at their destination finally. It’s Jack’s favorite vacation spot – his Mom’s house ( “mumsy”, he calls her). After a brief family reunion, Jack introduces Mom to the girls. None of them even get off their horses to greet her. Maybe they don’t know how to get down on their own. Marissa is psyched to meet Jack’s mom because Moms love her. As they prepare to go inside, Jack tells us privately that if the girls want to win his heart, they must win over his Mom.

The house is truly amazing, built on a cliff overlooking some kind of water. There are so many rooms, it looks like a small lodge, and each girl gets her own beautiful, private bedroom. Natalie is checking out her room, and sits bolt upright on the bed, looking very attentive, like she’s trying to hear something. “I feel air conditioning” she tells us. Apparently this is not common in the outback. She is in heaven!

Later, Jack’s mom tells us she suffered massive injuries from an accident and was on life support. Jack was by her side instantly and nursed her back to health because he’s a nurturing, caring guy. My guess is she bought this house with the insurance settlement. Oh, and did I mention the swimming pool? Maybe we’ll get the traditional reality dating show hot tub scene after all. I had just about given up on that one!

Mom pulls the girls aside to ask them some questions; Jack is not invited to join in this conversation. First, Mom asks Marissa what her worst quality is. Marisa answers “sometimes I don’t take time just to stop and take care of me.” Will you excuse me for one second, I think I’m going to ….………VVVVOMMMIIIIIIIIIIITTTT………………. There. I think I got that out of my system. Sorry. Mom looks like she buys Marissa’s answer about as much as I did. She’ll probably tell us her next worst qualities are that she works too hard, insists on doing quality work and cares about people too much! Then Marissa brings up how she got heatstroke, and it occurs to me that maybe her current strategy is to make the other girls so violently ill, they’ll ruin out of the house screaming, leaving her as the “last one standing”. Mom asks the girls who would THEY pick for Jack if they couldn’t pick themselves. Maria says Natalie, Natalie says Maria, of course. We don’t get to hear what Marissa told Mom, but privately she tells us she would pick neither.

Next question, how do you feel about sex before marriage? Heh. The girls all seem a little uncomfortable with this line of questioning, but it provides them with a nice opportunity to show off their dancing skills, and they dance around the subject very gracefully. Marissa answers that she won’t say yes or no, while Natalie says if you can wait it would be much more meaningful and that’s the way she dreams it would happen. Actually, it was probably more of a nightmare, but that’s close enough. Maria wins the dance competition with her comment: I think a white dress and virgin bride is amazing, but never commenting about whether she could be a “white bride”.

Then Mom asks if they think Jack is falling in love with any of them. Marissa pipes up and says she feels both of them are falling for each other (Maria is disgusted by this privately). Next “do any of you see yourselves married to Jack?” Maria says she can and she’s not afraid to say it. Mom concludes that if you could blend Natalie’s wit, Maria’s beauty and Marissa’s bitchiness – I mean intelligence, you’d have the perfect girl. She’s probably right if conniving and self-centered are traits you are looking for in the perfect girl!

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