Zoe McGrady has revealed what really happened behind closed doors with Grant Ellis during their overnight Fantasy Suite date on The Bachelor.
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Grant decided to advance Juliana Pasquarosa and Litia Garr to the Final 2, but viewers could see that things were really starting to heat up between Grant and Zoe in Punta Cana.
"We hadn't had that time where I could definitively be like, 'That's not my person.' I'd been told, 'He's a good man and he's husband material and he's looking for a wife.' So I was like, 'Well then let me just stick it out until we get that time together,'" Zoe said during a recent appearance on the "Bachelor Happy Hour" podcast.
"And I knew, worst case scenario, when you have an entire night with someone with no cameras, I'm going to get the answers that I need."
Zoe said her Fantasy Suite date with Grant began with her getting down to business and essentially scolding Grant.
"My conversation with him was not, 'Let me know more about you.' It was, 'I've been given the short end of the stick in this experience. You knew that I told you I was being bullied or put down and I was not feeling uncomfortable and you kept having me on these large group dates,'" Zoe recalled.
"[I said], 'You put me in competitive situations and never gave me that opportunity to just open up and be vulnerable on a one-on-one time. And you were questioning me throughout this process! And I'm still here.'"
Zoe apparently told Grant that if she had joined The Bachelor cast for the wrong reasons, she would've left already. Because at that point, she never received a solo or fancy date of any kind.
"And he apologized!" Zoe claimed.
"I said, 'That's not the behavior that I would take going outside of here. I'm willing to accept it because this is a one-time situation.'"
Zoe said that tense conversation with Grant was "kind of the turning point" for her in the process.
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"I was like, 'I don't want my man to think that I'm not worthy of romance and, you know, kind gestures and to be his No. 1 pick,'" Zoe noted.
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Zoe recalled how she and Grant "talked for hours" before the cameras stopped rolling.
"It was a relationship-altering conversation... and then we had [more conversations]. And at that point, I was like, 'Oh, I don't think this is my man.' It was not what I was hoping to get out of the conversation," Zoe explained.
"I don't feel like I was being seen as my full person. I felt like I was being seen in one category vs. another category. And I need someone who loves and wants to accept all of me."
Zoe therefore left the Fantasy Suite feeling a little down and deflated.
"That was the first time when I was like, 'I don't think I would say yes if he gave me a rose.' And ultimately, I didn't have to come to that decision," Zoe said.
She went on to confess, "There was nothing life-changing about our night."
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"He never gave me reassurance, like, 'You're The One,' or anything like that. It was kind of the opposite," Zoe told Joe Amabile and Serena Pitt on the podcast.
"I felt like I had to keep proving myself and my intentions [because] he kept, like, in every conversation, questioning my intentions and questioning if I was emotionally available, if I had doubts, if I could be loyal... which is absolutely crazy if you know me."
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Zoe insisted she is the "most loyal, sincere, and authentic person" out there.
"I'm not in this for the game. I'm not in this for a TV show. I'm in this for a husband. I think that's why I kept pushing and trying so hard in a way I would not do in the real world," Zoe clarified.
Zoe claimed only two of the couple's 10 conversations aired on The Bachelor and they had their fair share of witty banter and talking about the future.
But Zoe acknowledged she was never "delusional" in thinking she was going to be Grant's final pick. She was apparently well aware of the fact their connection was most likely further behind the others.
"Not to speak on his behalf, but I think we were in the same mindset of, 'We're going to keep giving it a chance until there are no more chances to give,'" Zoe explained.
"For me, we're in this process and there was only one Bachelor to choose from, and I wanted to give it my all. I said it to everyone, 'I am in this 100 percent until I'm not.'"
Zoe has signed on to look for love on Bachelor in Paradise's tenth season this summer.
As for Grant, he is still happily engaged to Juliana, his winner, and he will be moving to Boston to be close to her family in the near future.
RELATED LINK: 'THE BACHELOR' FRANCHISE COUPLES NOW: WHO IS STILL TOGETHER?? (PHOTOS)
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About The Author: Elizabeth Kwiatkowski
