The Bachelorette alum Jason Tartick has revealed the extent of the pain he's been going through over his split from ex-fiancee Kaitlyn Bristowe.
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Jason admitted in August that, although he and his ex were amicable, losing Kaitlyn was "really tough" and he needed time to "grieve" and "cope" from the breakup, which caused "emotional swings" on his part.
Jason therefore could therefore relate, at least on some level, to Bachelor in Paradise alum Michael Allio, who opened up about the death of his wife Laura Ritter-Allio to breast cancer in 2019.
"Everything eventually goes away -- the good times but also the bad times. Be easy on yourself and respect them, appreciate them and absorb them for what they offer you in the moment," Michael explained to Jason on the September 18 episode of the "Trading Secrets" podcast.
"Give me the joy and give me the pain, because all of that is better than that feeling of, say, being numb when you're walking around like a zombie and you feel nothing. I'd rather be in excruciating pain than just be numb."
Jason replied, "That's so true... You're so right."
"It's a weird predicament. I've even told you -- and other friends and stuff -- that this breakup, which is a baby-little drop in the ocean compared to what you've gone through, but I've cried more in the last month or two than I have in my life altogether," the former banker from Seattle explained.
Jason suggested that healing from his split from Kaitlyn after four years of dating has been hard and is taking longer than he thought.
"But there is something true to feeling that emotion; it makes you feel connected and it makes you feel alive," The Bachelorette 14 alum noted.
"It makes you feel, like, 'Okay, I know where I'm at, I'm feeling myself, I'm connecting myself, and I'm moving on.'"
Jason told Michael, however, that he "has been in those situations" where a person is in a "numb" state of mind and being.
RELATED LINK: 'THE BACHELORETTE' COUPLES NOW"Those numb states, it's like, there's nothing worse than just not knowing or not understanding yourself," Jason explained.
"If you don't understand yourself, the confusion that comes from that... makes moving on and your next chapters -- whether it's personal, professional, financial, or whatever it is -- really hard chapters to put together."
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Jason moved "down the street" from Kaitlyn in Nashville, temporarily, after their split, and they're both taking care of the two Golden Retrievers they had adopted together during better times: Pino and Ramen.
The Season 11 The Bachelorette star recently revealed that she and Jason had failed to prioritize their relationship and that they weren't "choosing" each other on a daily basis.
Kaitlyn insisted no one was at fault or is to blame for the demise of their relationship, but she said social media -- and outside pressures to put on "a performative show" for their fans -- definitely "played a part" in their breakup. That's why she decided to take a break from posting content for weeks.
There appeared to be trouble in paradise when Kaitlyn and Jason never followed through with planning a wedding after their engagement, which definitely raised eyebrows and concern.
Breakup rumors began to swirl in July because Kaitlyn and Jason hadn't posted anything about each other on Instagram for about a month. Jason had also took a solo trip to see his mother in New York in late July, and he posted photos with his dogs during a fun day out in Nashville -- but Kaitlyn didn't participate.
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Kaitlyn fueled speculation her romance was on the rocks -- or over completely -- when she took to Instagram Stories on August 1 with an angry message.
"I cannot believe the audacity of people to expect things from me when I haven't even been able to process things for myself," Kaitlyn wrote, according to Us Weekly.
Needing to "process things" seemed to suggest she and Jason had split up and called off their engagement.
The Dancing with the Stars 29 winner continued, "Have a f-cking heart. You're scaring me with your comments and demands. I'm almost worried about YOU."
Kaitlyn quickly deleted the post, but screenshots of it still exist online and in her "Off the Vine with Kaitlyn Bristowe" podcast group on Facebook.
Kaitlyn subsequently uploaded a permanent post on Instagram featuring lyrics to her 2020 song "If I'm Being Honest," which suggested she wasn't ready to tell her story.
RELATED LINK: 'THE BACHELOR' COUPLES NOW: WHO DID 'THE BACHELOR' STARS AND THEIR BACHELORETTE PICKS ACTUALLY END UP MARRYING? (PHOTOS)
Kaitlyn had also been spotted without her engagement ring in July and wrote cryptic posts on social media about needing to toughen up.
While Kaitlyn and Jason breakup rumors were circulating, Kaitlyn's first fiance, her The Bachelorette 11 winner Shawn Booth, announced he's going to be a dad with a woman named Audrey "Dre" Joseph, who had taken professional and promotional photos of him and is a member at his gym.
Kaitlyn and Shawn were together for about three years and announced their split in November 2018.
Jason, who initially competed for Becca Kufrin's heart on The Bachelorette's fourteenth season in 2018, asked Kaitlyn out on their first date in January 2019, and their romance moved quickly.
Jason moved from his place in Washington to live with Kaitlyn in Nashville in June 2019, and then the couple adopted their two dogs together. Jason proceeded to pop the question in Spring 2021.
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Earlier this year, Kaitlyn explained in the media how she and Jason had been distracted when it came to wedding planning and were in no rush to exchange vows.
When asked about her nuptials on the February 5 episode of "The Most Dramatic Podcast Ever with Chris Harrison," Kaitlyn confessed with a laugh, "We suck."
"Honestly, any time we sit down to talk about [the wedding], we literally want to do something else," Kaitlyn said of her former dynamic with Jason at their home in Nashville.
"And that sounds so terrible because it should be a priority, but it doesn't feel like one -- and we're both okay with that."
Chris, who hosted The Bachelor franchise for nearly two decades, assured his friend, "That's all that matters," and Kaitlyn agreed.
"I feel like there's so much noise, like, 'Why aren't you guys talking about the wedding? Why is there not a wedding happening?!'" Kaitlyn shared.
"And it's like, 'I don't need to prove my relationship through a wedding.' I don't know, I just don't."
RELATED LINK: 'THE BACHELOR' FRANCHISE COUPLES NOW: WHO IS STILL TOGETHER?? (PHOTOS)
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About The Author: Elizabeth Kwiatkowski
