The Bachelor alum Clayton Echard has revealed that he had "zero energy" left to fight his "battle" with Susie Evans towards the end of their relationship.
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Clayton and Susie announced their breakup in September 2022, and they previously revealed in the media how backlash from Bachelor Nation -- including death threats sent to Clayton -- was a big factor in why they had issues and ultimately parted ways.
"I would never want to speak for her. We've been very careful with what we've shared because so much of what we went through is private and it doesn't need to be shared," Clayton, 29, told Us Weekly on its "Here for the Right Reasons" podcast while promoting his new book, 180 Degrees.
Clayton said trauma and stress that came after The Bachelor impacted their mental health and "absolutely just destroyed" their relationship.
"I didn't want to get out of bed certain days. My days would start at 11AM because I just didn't want to get out and do stuff because I had no drive to live life," Clayton admitted.
"I remember just kind of looking at each other and thinking like, 'We have to heal separately because we can't take this any longer. I'm so destroyed. There's nothing left. I have zero energy to fight this battle any longer.' It was just a really sad place to be."
Clayton got choked up as he continued to talk about the demise of his romance with Susie, whom he had lived with in Virginia Beach last year before moving to Scottsdale, AZ, for a fresh start.
"I get a little emotional. It just sucked because, like, our last day together, we already knew that we were ending things, but I stayed in a couple extra days after we broke up," Clayton recalled.
"We just turned on a movie. She had a projector sent to her and we fired up the projector, turned on a movie, ordered a bunch of food to the house and just cracked up and laughed and cried and every single emotion on that last day."
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Clayton said he woke up at 5AM the next day and drove away from Susie, who currently lives in Los Angeles, CA.
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"And that was it,'" Clayton explained.
"It was just so odd because we had so much fun that last day and I think we both realized that, like, 'There's so much pain attached to all of this, and after all the damage that was already done, like, I don't know if we can repair this and the best thing we can do right now is separate and do this separately."
Clayton also shared specifics on what exactly had created a rift between Susie and himself while they were still together.
"It was really, really complicated because we were pitted against each other," Clayton noted.
Fans apparently picked a side the night Clayton had admittedly "lost [his] cool" with Susie when they were filming their Fantasy Suite on The Bachelor.
Clayton -- who said he's still "embarrassed" for how he had treated Susie -- saw a sudden shift in Susie's attitude once she learned about his strong feelings for Gabby and Rachel.
When Susie threatened to quit The Bachelor, Clayton jumped to the conclusion Susie was playing him and had joined the show to hopefully become the next The Bachelorette star. He was furious that she was going to give up on their love at the first sign of a struggle.
"When I lost my cool, it became Susie vs. Clayton. Not between her and I, but between the audience. Camp Susie vs. camp Clayton," Clayton explained.
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Clayton said the difference of opinions caused the couple to start "butting heads" and arguing.
"Because now we're both like, 'I got this many people saying this. You have this many people saying this. Who's right? Who's wrong?' The fact of the matter was all that noise on the outside had no idea what was going on internally," Clayton said.
"And we should have cut all that off. And she did a better job than I did. I allowed that outside noise because of my insecurities to have an impact on me and my decisions. I allowed my ego to be validated by this external noise."
Clayton insisted it's impossible to heal "when you are pitted against each other," adding, "It became, 'I'm trying to heal. You are trying to heal. When I wake up and I'm happy [and] fine for one day, you are struggling. So now I'm sharing your pain.' So it was this constant struggle and depression and it just wore us down."
Clayton and Susie also dealt with a cheating scandal when they were trying to work things out. A fan accused Clayton of cheating on the wedding videographer, but the former football player was ultimately able to prove he didn't.
"We just wanted to ultimately be there for each other and be supportive," Clayton shared in the aftermath of their breakup.
"And that's why we've been very adamant about letting people know that like, 'Hey, I've got nothing but love for her.' We both know that we could have done things differently, but ultimately, the outcome was the outcome."
Clayton and Susie have since become friends, but they're careful in how much they contact each other, as to not make their split even more difficult.
When asked if they'll ever get back together and give their relationship another shot, Clayton replied, "Is there a chance down the road that this could happen [again]? We don't know."
"But, like, we can't stay together any longer because we have nothing left to give," he reiterated.
"It was tough. It's a really hard place to be when you feel like it's out of your control. And you make the decision, but ultimately you feel like the decision was almost made for you by the outside."
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About The Author: Elizabeth Kwiatkowski
