'Married at First Sight' expert Pastor Cal: The idea that you're not supposed to try to change your spouse is BS!
By Elizabeth Kwiatkowski, 03/26/2021
Married at First Sight expert Pastor Calvin Roberson insists the idea a person is not supposed to try to change their spouse is bull.
Married at First Sight Season 12 star Haley Harris began pulling back from husband Jacob Harder after they were intimate during their Las Vegas honeymoon, and she confessed once they moved in together that she simply wasn't feeling a connection with him.
During the March 17 episode of Married at First Sight: Unfiltered, Pastor Cal, Haley and fellow MAFS star Erik Lake watched back a Season 12 clip of Haley buying Jacob some new clothes in attempt to create a spark or build some type of an attraction to him.
Jacob acknowledges in the clip someone buying him clothes for no reason was "a first."
On Unfiltered, host Jamie Otis -- who starred on Season 1 of Married at First Sight -- asked Haley to give an honest review of Jacob in his new attire after he did a little fashion show for her in their living room.
"How do you think Jake looks in the clothes that you bought him?" Jamie asked.
"I feel like he looks so much better than in those graphic T-[shirts]!" Haley gushed, referring to Jacob's obsession with 80's clothing and style.
"I mean, we're coming a long way here!"
Haley also admitted she was "really surprised" by Jacob's reaction to her gift.
"[I was surprised] he hadn't really had anyone go out of their way to do something for him that was nice," Haley recalled.
"Like, he was shocked it was a 'just because' thing and hot that there was an event that required a gift."
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Erik chimed in and complimented Haley on her "sweet gesture."
"For me, if my wife wants to dress me up the way that she likes, I'm good with that! I mean, honestly," Erik noted. "As long as I don't look like a clown, I'm fine."
Pastor Cal agreed that Haley's effort to dress her husband better was "awesome."
"There is a notion that you're not supposed to change [your spouse], which I believe is BS," Pastor Cal shared.
"I think if you're going to be married, you do what's necessary to help each other."
Pastor Cal added, however, "The only thing I wish Jacob had done was come out with a shirt and a tool belt... He could have sexied it up a little bit!"
On that note, Jamie asked Haley if she thought her attraction to Jacob could grow as long as he'd be willing to loosen and lighten up a bit.
"So that's been one of my big issues," Haley confessed.
"After we had the attraction conversation, every conversation after that, he always brought back to attraction. And I'm like, 'We've got to have some fun. I can't be serious all the time, it's going to drive me absolutely nuts.'"
She added, "So that's definitely something we have had to talk about a lot."
Also on Unfiltered, Haley watched back footage in which she was shown telling her friends she had admitted to Jacob that she wasn't attracted to him.
Jamie could barely look Doug in the eye when they exchanged vows, and she cried on her knees about whether she had made the right decision in marrying a stranger after the wedding.
However, Jamie and Doug are still married today with two children, daughter Henley and son Hendrix, and their life together appears to be happy and fulfilling.
"Absolutely!" Pastor Cal insisted.
"I like to believe that the physical is just the resume, it just gets you in the door. It's not a big deal if someone you are pursuing says, 'You're not the most attractive guy.' Okay, fine, but I don't know -- I'm intelligent and I'm rich. I'm something! I'm funny!' You know, whatever!"
After everyone burst into laughter, Jamie asked Haley if she had hope she could become attracted to Jacob eventually, like maybe because he's "funny or rich!"
"I mean, we're hoping for rich, but who knows!" Haley said with a laugh.
"I'm still trying to figure it out. Like [Eric] was saying, communication is a really big thing for me and that's something we've really struggled with."
"So, it's just, only time will tell," Haley concluded.