Bachelor in Paradise's Jess Girod has explained why she was hesitant to commit to Blake Moynes and how her connection with Tyler Norris changed everything.
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Blake therefore confronted Jess about the status of their relationship and asked whether she could see them having a future together, but Jess got emotional and failed to give him the clarity or confirmation that he needed.
"We have such different lives outside of Paradise. He travels a lot and we live in different countries," Jess explained of her hesitation with Blake during a recent appearance on the "Bachelor Happy Hour" podcast, which is co-hosted by Bachelor in Paradise spouses Joe Amabile and Serena Pitt.
"Those are things you can overcome, but I just think I was very scared. And I didn't want to leave in a public relationship just for it not to work. So I think, for me, I was taking it as seriously as possible and being very logical."
Since Jess was unsure about where she and Blake stood, he accepted a date with Bachelor in Paradise newcomer Genevie Mayo.
Blake shared how he wanted to give Jess some space to explore her options, and in the meantime, he wasn't going to just sit around and wait for her to choose him.
"I was having a lot of internal dialogues and freaking myself out, and that's where I went wrong," Jess recalled of her dynamic with Blake on the beach.
"I probably should've communicated that a little bit more. I did that with my friends and I did that with other people, but you don't really see that. I think for me, it was just, 'Am I good enough to fit in his lifestyle and can we match where we're at?'"
Jess is an E-commerce coordinator from Florida, while Blake is a wildlife manager who works in animal conservation from Canada.
According to Jess, she struggled to see their lives lining up and making sense.
"Blake and I share a similar interest in our love for animals and our passion for that, and that's something I was excited about, at that time, to join him on. But it was like, I'm just starting out my career, so do I drop everything and do that?" Jess reasoned on the podcast.
RELATED LINK: 'THE BACHELOR' FRANCHISE COUPLES NOW"There were so many things I was thinking of, and I was just being so logical. And I'm not upset that that was my approach; I just wish I translated that well. I have a hard time, I get emotional and I cry. I don't communicate as well as I could."
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Jess said she recognizes her communication skills are something she's learning she must work on.
And so when Blake and Genevie went out on a date, Jess shared, "He was giving me space, and I just wanted him to be happy, and I wanted both of us to figure out what was going on and what was missing."
Jess, however, apparently didn't think Blake was going to leave her.
"I did not think that he would go on that date, just because when you're being told [you're] closed off and they want to pursue you, I just assumed, 'Oh, he's not interested in [dating elsewhere].' But he had every right to do that, just like I had every right to explore," Jess explained.
"So I think I was thrown off, but not, like, in an angry way. I was just like, 'Oh, this is a twist that I did not see coming.'"
But Jess pointed out how Blake deserved to go on a date with another woman.
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"I really did not know what to do to make it click in my head, like, 'Are we the best match?' I just needed to figure that out."
Jess went on to share why exactly she wasn't sold on Blake becoming her official boyfriend.
"Blake is great and every girl would want a Blake; he has all these great qualities, but is that something that fits into my life? And do I fit into his? Are we the best match?" Jess said.
"So for me, I didn't know the best approach to that, and so when he offered, I respect his experience and I respect his maturity, so when he offered space, I trusted that that was the best approach for us in that moment."
While Blake was away on his date with Genevie in Paradise, Tyler actually made a move on Jess and they made out.
"Tyler was someone I wanted to get to know going into Paradise, and obviously when he chose [Mercedes Northup for a date], I think my insecurities were showing when these guys were choosing my friends over me," Jess confessed.
"Anyone in my position would automatically take a step back from that. So when we would spend time together in a group setting, without trying or even realizing, I would notice that Tyler and I had a lot of similarities. I also really liked his bubbly personality, so that was getting me a little bit more interested."
Jess told Joe and Serena how it was "nice" to finally have an opportunity to talk to Tyler and get to know him better one-on-one.
"We hadn't had that. And yeah, I think from what I remember, it was just a fun little conversation. It didn't feel like a lot of pressure, but I remember feeling a little guilty having it still," Jess said.
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After all, Blake had told Jess that he didn't feel "wanted" by her.
"Blake made a comment to me about how it was nice to feel wanted [by Genevie]. I think that stuck with me for a bit and it made me question, 'What am I doing?' When someone says that, you're automatically like, 'Damn, that sucks! I don't ever want to make someone feel that way.' So [my kiss with Tyler] felt like, 'Am I going to make that feeling worse for him?'" Jess admitted.
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"In my perspective, I have this mature man in front of me that is saying he wants to be with me, and so I was like, 'Why would I not want to go full force at that? I would be dumb to miss that?' But it's like, 'Am I the best match for him?' I wanted it to so bad," Jess vented.
"In that moment, I wanted it to be [him] so badly, because I knew leaving him, I'd regret it."
Jess said prior to meeting Blake, she only had experience with "frat boys" and guys who had ghosted her after the first date.
Zach Shallcross also dumped Jess on The Bachelor's 27th season.
"I really wanted Blake to be The One for me, and so I didn't want to let that go. I think my indecisiveness was selfish and I see his perspective, but at the same time, when someone tells you they're 'all in' on you, that doesn't mean that you feel that, too," Jess reasoned.
Jess said there were "factors" to consider and so her heart was torn.
"I think in that moment, I was 50 percent like, 'Oh my gosh, I feel so selfish and I feel like I'm not thinking of him,' and the other [half] was like, 'What has he done for me to make me feel like I'm The One for him, besides just saying that?'" Jess noted.
Jess admitted her "mind was going crazy" because Blake wasn't exactly fighting for her either.
"There were so many things happening, and I was like, 'Yeah, this sucks. You're going on a date with my best friend! But I'm also the reason why you're going on a date with my best friend. But am I? Because if you really want to be with me, you wouldn't have said yes,'" Jess ranted.
"There was a whole list of things, and there's no right or wrong."
Jess assured Joe and Serena, however, that she certainly "wasn't angry" at Blake for going on a date.
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"I wanted her to choose someone that she wanted to be with, but yeah, in that moment, when he said he wanted to go on a date, I just felt very defeated. It wasn't necessarily anger, it was just defeat. I was like, 'What am I doing?'"
The latest episode of Bachelor in Paradise ended with Jess pursuing her interest in Tyler and Blake making out with Genevie during their date. Blake expressed how Genevie made him feel special and comfortable, and so it seemed like he wasn't sold on the idea of returning to Jess.
RELATED LINK: 'THE BACHELOR' FRANCHISE COUPLES NOW: WHO IS STILL TOGETHER?? (PHOTOS)
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About The Author: Elizabeth Kwiatkowski
