'Bachelor in Paradise's Clay Harbor and Nicole Lopez-Alvar defend their sides of breakup after reunion appearance edited out
By Elizabeth Kwiatkowski, 09/18/2019
Bachelor in Paradise'sClay Harbor and Nicole Lopez-Alvar's appearance was edited out of the 2019 season's reunion show on Tuesday night, so the former couple has shared their sides of why they broke up online instead -- and Nicole isn't holding back or letting Clay off easy.
"While there is so much I want to share with you all, there is a message that I need to share that is far more important than me," Nicole, 26, wrote in a lengthy caption Tuesday on Instagram.
"Ladies, we don't have to put up with anything less than wonderful. We are worthy of someone's complete and all-encompassing respect, time, love, honesty, and energy."
Nicole then appeared to slam Clay both for how he had treated her as well as how he had treated his ex and Bachelor in Paradise co-star Angela Amezcua, whom he dated for eight months prior to his Paradise appearance but never told "I love you."
"When a man's actions don't line up with his words, when a man's promises fall flat, and when a man dares to string you along (whether it's for 16 days or for 8 months) knowing very well he does not see a future with you -- we are better off on our own than loving a man who doesn't know what he has when he has it," Nicole continued in her post.
"I know it's scary, but sometimes, the bravest thing we can ever do is love ourselves first. If that means to run, then run."
The Miami native concluded, "I love you all so much and remember -- we are ALL worthy of our own happy ending. Whether that be with a partner or not. 'Cause we're our own soulmates."
Although Clay wanted to continue dating Nicole in the real world, she decided to dump him when the Bachelor in Paradise finale was filmed in late June because he couldn't express his love for her.
Nicole felt she deserved more from the bachelor whom she had been committed to for the majority of her time in Mexico.
According to a source, Nicole shared at the reunion that she's currently dating someone else, Us Weekly reported. Angela -- who dated Chase McNary on Season 6 of Paradise -- also reportedly revealed the same.
As for Clay's response to being edited out of the Paradise reunion show, he tweeted that fans "didn't miss much."
RELATED LINK: 'THE BACHELOR' FRANCHISE COUPLES NOW
"Yes I was at the reunion they chose not to show my convo with Nicole," Clay wrote Tuesday on Twitter.
"I basically explained why I didn't think we were far enough along to get engaged and that I really did want to continue to date and wished her luck with her new relationship."
Clay, however, had more to say after Nicole posted her message on social media.
"Comparing relationships is not apples to apples. The truth is I was starting to fall in love but I did not want to lie and say I was all the way there until I was," the former pro football player wrote in a Twitter post.
"I wanted to leave the beach with Nicole and see what real everyday life had in store for us. I wanted to meet family and friends and grow and if we were ready to get engaged we would. I've always told myself I am asking one person one time to marry me. I just didn't think we made it far enough YET."
Clay said Nicole's reaction that final day in Paradise really surprised him.
"I completely expected her to leave with me but she wanted something else. I won't sacrifice who I am for anyone and specially not a TV show," Clay continued.
"I completely stand behind my decisions that last night on the beach and like I said before, I'm happy Nicole has moved on. She deserves happiness."
Clay appeared to be annoyed producers cut his segment with Nicole from the reunion because he revealed Tuesday in a tweet, "Me: I'll be on vacation planned 6 months ago with college friends. Producers: you really need to be there ppl will want to know what happened. Me: Okay I'll cancel vaca and make it."
Nicole and Clay were one of the most established couples in Paradise, but their overnight Fantasy Suite date changed everything. Instead of having a romantic, magical evening together, Clay said he needed space in order to figure out where his head and his heart were at.
Nicole asked Clay what was holding him back, and he explained it wouldn't be right to make Nicole uproot her life and come live with him if he's not 100 percent confident in their future together.
Nicole, however, said if she moved, it would be because she wanted to -- and Clay wouldn't have to feel guilty about that.
"I'm not 100 percent ready for a proposal. I'm not 100 percent ready to move in together. I think we have more to explore," Clay said.
Nicole was concerned because Clay was suddenly bringing up a lot of doubts.
"You've never ever made me feel unsure about our relationship until this very moment. Now that the end is near and you are faced with this decision, you're backing out," Nicole told Clay.
Nicole then met Clay on the beach in Paradise the next day to learn their fate as a couple. Nicole was in love with Clay and could picture being with him forever, so she felt "anxious" and "sick" to her stomach.
Nicole told Clay that she loved him when they first kissed and she loved him all the way through the show. Nicole said he had made her feel secure and hopeful, but then she asked him to look at her in the eyes and answer the following question: "Do you love me?"
"I'm not there yet," Clay replied.
"Having those feelings for me is not easy for me and it's scary... I know I'm not ready to move in together and get down on a knee right now, but I know what I want, and that's for us to take things slow and leave here together."
"I want you. I do," he insisted. "When I look at you, I can see someone who could potentially be my wife... I know you want more and you deserve more."
Nicole said it just didn't make sense that Clay seemed so conflicted, and she was upset and seemingly pissed off.
Nicole therefore decided she had to dump Clay, knowing he didn't love her back. She walked away from the former pro football player in tears and left Paradise alone.
"I totally related to [his ex-girlfriend Angela Amezcua] now, because he had no intentions of being 100 percent serious with me. I just can't believe it," Nicole said in her final words.