The twelfth-season The Bachelorette alum said his six weeks with Carly on Bachelor in Paradise's third season changed his life as they dated in an "amazing bubble" -- but it was the real world that hit them hard.
"I was able to connect with Carly, and I think it's beautiful what that [environment] can do," Evan, 39, told Mike Johnson and Bryan Abasolo on the latest episode of their "Talking It Out with Bachelor Nation" podcast.
The erectile dysfunction expert explained, "Paradise, gives you a kind of foundation that's very -- there's nothing going on, right? You just have to work on your relationship. And you talk about real-life stuff and for me, it was very genuine, and I think when you get out, that transition, I think that's probably where we missed it."
Evan hinted that he and Carly had major differences at the core of their romance.
Evan said he and Carly struggled with "communicating about values and just communication in general [and] figuring out how to work through life."
"I have obviously other children that aren't with Carly, and so, there was just a lot to work through," Evan noted.
"And so, yeah, I just don't think we set the foundation in the way that we should have."
In addition to having three sons -- ages 21, 17, and 14 -- from his first marriage, Evan also shares a four-year-old daughter, Isabella "Bella" Evelyn, and two-year-old son, Charles "Charlie" Wolf, with Carly.
"I judge the crap out of myself, like, 'You did that or you did this wrong,'" Evan said, adding how he's been trying to rationalize why he did certain things and why certain things happened in his marriage to Carly.
Evan and Carly met on Bachelor in Paradise in 2016 and Evan proposed on the finale. The former couple tied the knot in June 2017.
After three years of marriage, the pair announced their "difficult decision to separate" in December 2020, and Evan admitted his pain from the breakup has been "real."
"I have done a ton of therapy, like I started doing -- I've been doing therapy for years, but I made sure that it was every week. I did every kind of therapy method," Evan revealed, adding how he even tried "hypnotherapy."
Evan said he began dieting and "jumped into the gym and started beasting out, as much as a father of five can" after his divorce from Carly.
Evan admitted going through two divorces is "sobering" and "terrible" and "embarrassing," and he's still "not out of" the woods in terms of feeling healed and whole again.
"I still feel like it's hard talking about it, I feel emotional just thinking about it. It's a deep sadness still," Evan said.
"And I don't know if you ever just get completely perfect. There's the scars and the wounds. They heal, but they're also there to teach you, and teach me, and I'm trying my best."
Evan also wrote late last week on Instagram Stories how divorce is like "death" and it's been "horrible" for him.
Evan, however, claimed on social media that a lot of what's been reported "ain't true" and he certainly doesn't want revenge on his ex.
"There can be no revenge when u [sic] have kids together," Evan wrote in a second Instagram Story on Thursday.
"As an aside, there are also no sides in a divorce with kids [because] the kids are the only damn side to take and how dare y'all tryna take sides back in the day."
But Evan apparently doesn't consider either marriage to be a mistake because he was able to learn and grow from them both.
Evan also shared how his kids "handled it really well," although his eldest sons are "bummed" about the split.
"It wasn't necessarily a dramatic change for them... [but] it's complicated," Evan said on the podcast, explaining how he and Carly have done a good job of staying consistent and giving their children structure.
Evan noted it's important for his youngest kids to be with their mother and so he's okay with their current arrangement.
"With Carly, she's great and it's fine. I think we've found our groove and it's good," Evan said.
But Evan -- who married his first wife after less than four months of dating and then married Carly in one year of dating -- joked, "I should probably wait a very long time before I get married again... [but] I love love... and I really want to be with someone."
Evan, who has undergone a vasectomy, confirmed he's "dabbled a bit" in dating after Carly and would "of course" do Bachelor in Paradise again.
Carly admitted in late December she was "very sad" after her breakup with Evan and going through a divorce "just sucks." She said, however, "all wounds heal" with time.
Evan didn't break his silence about the split until April 2021, when he called himself "an easy target" for criticism and gossip since he had chosen to be quiet about the separation.
When Carly and Evan met in Mexico on Bachelor in Paradise, Evan pursued Carly with determination only to face resistance in the beginning of the season, but Carly slowly fell in love with his quirks and personality.