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HOME > The Bachelor > The Bachelor: On the Wings of Love

Vienna Girardi: Jake Pavelka and I lied, made up wedding plans


By Christopher Rocchio, 06/25/2010 

Vienna Girardi stated that she "definitely" would wed Jake Pavelka after they got engaged during The Bachelor: On the Wings of Love's finale, however she claims the two never actually discussed marriage.

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"From the moment we got engaged, we never talked about the future, about a wedding, ever again," Girardi told Star in a cover-story interview in the magazine's July 5 issue.

"People were always asking us about it at events and stuff, and it was awkward, so we just made stuff up."

She said an example of their fake-wedding arrangements was when the couple was asked about their plans after Dancing with the Stars' live tenth-season finale and she told reporters she had purchased a pair of Jimmy Choo shoes for the ceremony.

"That was a lie! I didn't even buy the stupid shoes. I just wanted to have something to say when people kept asking us," she told Star. "Whenever I'd bring up the wedding to Jake, he'd just blow me off or ignore me or pick up his phone, like he always does."

The Bachelor: On the Wings of Love couple issued a statement confirming their split on Monday night, and Girardi reiterated that they never made any wedding plans in an interview broadcast on Entertainment Tonight on Thursday.

"Jake and I have never even talked about getting married or anything about the wedding," she said.

"So there was never a wedding planned?" asked Entertainment Tonight anchor Kevin Frazier.

"No," replied Girardi. "We never planned a wedding. He told me that he's never not thought he's going to marry me. But he never wanted to talk about getting married."

Girardi said Pavelka's claim that "he's never not thought he's going to marry me" was not enough for her and she needed "a little more than that."

"If you're engaged to someone, you're supposed to be excited and wanting to plan it and wanting to start your life together," she told Star.

"I do believe he cares about me. He does. And I do think deep down he does want to marry me. But now, for Jake, it's all about his career."

Girardi added that Pavelka -- who had repeatedly publicly insisted he was not interested in a showbiz career and planning to resume his commercial pilot job in Dallas once The Bachelor and his subsequent Dancing with the Stars participation ended -- "really, really wants to be an actor" and she would "never take that dream away from him," but claimed to have been unaware of his plans prior to their engagement.

"I had no idea about that. I thought he was a pilot," she told Star. "This wasn't supposed to be our life. We were supposed to go back to Dallas. Maybe things would have worked out differently for us if we'd done that."

Pavelka was revealed to be a Dancing with the Stars tenth-season celebrity participant on the same March night that his engagement to Girardi aired during The Bachelor: On the Wings of Love finale, which she said altered their plans.

"That's fine, he moved me out to L.A. for a couple of months," she told Star.

"I didn't know anyone there and I don't know about the industry at all, so I was like, 'Hey, can you help me? If we're going to live out here, what should I do?' I didn't have an agent. I didn't have headshots. I didn't have a clue what to do and he wouldn't help."

Girardi said because Pavelka failed to help her, she simply "sat in the apartment, doing nothing, with no car, pretty much trapped."

After Pavelka's Dancing with the Stars journey ended, Girardi said he wanted to remain in Tinseltown to pursue his passion.

"Then all of a sudden he wanted to live out here for good and be an actor -- and that wasn't supposed to be the plan," she told Star. "He lied to me. We never talked about it! When you're engaged to someone, you're supposed to talk about major life changes like that."

In addition to living a lifestyle that Girardi said she was unhappy with, she claims the two were constantly arguing.

"I don't think Jake and I have ever gone two days without fighting, since that first month," she told Star.

"Apparently I 'undermine' him. I don't even know what that means, but he says that about everything I do. Like, if we're driving somewhere and I put the address into the GPS, he'll flip out because I'm 'undermining him.' He's a control freak."

Girardi said that there split this week also wasn't the first time they ended their romantic relationship.

"Jake and have broken up twice before, but we made up, like, immediately," she explained to Star.

"The first time, I gave the ring back and was crying in the bathroom for hours while he sat on the couch. The second time, I was actually packing my bags, like this is it. He'd promise that he'd be better, and then he'd be nice to me for a few days. But it was always just an act. I can't fall for the lies again. This time it's really over for good. I had to get out."

While their previous splits never lasted, Girardi said Pavelka would have welcomed a split while he was competing on Dancing with the Stars.

"He told me if he would have dumped me on Dancing with the Stars he probably would have won," she told Entertainment Tonight. "He said it was a popularity contest."

Although she complained that Pavelka didn't help her get an agent and headshots during her Star interview, Girardi is also refuting Pavelka's recent claim that she is interested in a showbiz career.

"Any thought of you doing The Bachelorette now?" asked Frazier on Entertainment Tonight.

"No," replied Girardi.

"Are you done with Hollywood and TV and all that stuff?" he asked.

"I'm so over Hollywood. I want a real job and I got one. I did get a job," answered Girardi, who failed to provide specifics.

"I went to college for marketing and PR and that's what I want to do. I don't want to be an actress. If I wanted to be an actor, I'd be out going on auditions and have an agent. I don't have any of that."

Pavelka has stated that he initiated the split because Girardi sold her story to Star, but she said he left her no choice.

"I hate that I have to play it all out in public, but I want people to know what he's really like," she told Star. "I want people to know what I've been through, and I'm not the crazy villain. I want people to know the real Jake, not the act he puts on for the cameras."

Girardi maintains she's the one who dumped Pavelka because he refused to be "intimate" with her for the past six months.

Girardi said she "never had sex" with Pavelka while filming The Bachelor last fall, but added they were "intimate" the first month they were together -- until things "started getting strange" about a month into the relationship.

"He didn't want to kiss me; I had to ask. And then he decided to go on a fast, for religious reasons, and he didn't want to be intimate. He said it's a sin to do that before marriage and he wanted to cleanse himself," she explained to Star.

"Then he went on this fast for a week and didn't want to do it. I completely supported him and I said, 'I understand if you don't want to be intimate right now during your fast, okay.' But after he finished, he still didn't want to do anything or be with me, and I was like, 'I don't get what's going on!'"

Despite an attempt at a romantic rendezvous on Valentine's Day, Girardi claims Pavelka still refused to be intimate, which continued over the next several months.

"The other day he was rubbing my arm and I literally almost cried, because I hadn't felt his touch for so long," she told Star. "That's the worst thing you can do to someone. It's emotionally abusive."

Girardi said refusing to have sex with her wasn't the only way Pavelka emotionally abused her.

"He doesn't try to talk to me or get to know me or anything," she told Star.

"I had a really important business dinner recently for a new job, and the only thing Jake was concerned about was how it would look for me to be meeting at a restaurant with another guy. I went to great lengths to make sure it wouldn't look that way: I invited my girlfriend and I drove in my own car."

Girardi said Pavelka still didn't appreciate her effort.

"The next morning when he called and I told him I was sleeping, he said, 'In your own bed?'" she told Star. "It was like he was looking for something to pick an argument about. He didn't even ask me how the meeting went or if I got the job."

Girardi also accused Pavelka of forcing her to get rid of her dog due to shedding issues and then failing to support her when the miniature pomchi suffered severe "separation anxiety" while living at her parents' home in Florida.

"He goes, 'Oh, I'm sooo sorry your dog is so spoiled that she can only maintain one relationship at a time,'" Girardi told Star about Pavelka's reaction. "I was just in shock that someone would even say something like that. Chloe's my baby. And he knows that. That was so hurtful."

In addition, Girardi said Pavelka "has totally taken my self-esteem away."

"Being with Jake has made me hate myself," she told Star.

"Being with someone who won't be intimate with me, who is constantly fighting with me, has totally taken away all my self-esteem. And I don't know how long it's going to take to rebuild that, to like myself again."

Girardi told Star that she planned on leaving Los Angeles and flying back to her native Florida on Tuesday.

"I'm going back to live with my parents -- and I never wanted to be doing that at this point in my life," she said. "But there's nothing more important in life than being happy, and I haven't been happy for months because of Jake."

Girardi said she feels Pavelka will be "really angry" about their split.

"I'd like to think that he would call me and apologize and try to get me back. I'm not going back to him, but I'd love to think he cares enough about me to do that," she told Star.

"But I bet the first thing he does is go to the media. Who knows how he's going to spin this."

Now that their relationship is over, Girardi said she hopes Pavelka finds what he's looking for in life.

"I think he can find love, but before that he needs to find out what he wants," she told Star.

"Maybe right now, being an actor is the most important thing to him. But I'm not going to be there. I'll be a fan from afar. I'll watch all of his movies, but I'm not going to be a part of his life."

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