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HOME > The Bachelorette > The Bachelorette 9

'The Bachelorette' star Desiree Hartsock: I realized I wasn't in love with Zak Waddell when he gave me the ring

By Elizabeth Kwiatkowski, 07/16/2013 

Desiree Hartsock admits she realized Zak Waddell wasn't the guy for her when he told her that he loved her -- an ultimately crushing conclusion for The Bachelorette star.

"I didn't necessarily have any weighing concerns about Zak that I needed answers about -- but I needed to see if my feelings were matching up to his. It was such a kind gesture for Zak to give me a ring to show me what he was hopeful for in our relationship and tell me that he loves me. But at that same moment I realized that maybe I wasn't there with him yet -- and that broke my heart," Hartsock wrote in her People blog.

"Sending Zak home was difficult because he is such a great guy. He will make some woman very happy one day -- and will certainly keep her laughing through life."

Hartsock was hoping Drew Kenney would show a side similar to that of Waddell's playful personality, and he apparently came through during his hometown date.

"Since Drew tended to be more reserved and serious, I hoped his family would bring out a different side to him... Drew lit up around his family. I could see a more comfortable and charismatic side to him that I had been looking for. And the steamy kiss he laid on me as I left was quite memorable too!" The Bachelorette star explained.

But Hartsock saw all the sides she needed to see in Brooks Forester -- she was just waiting to be convinced her feelings of love were being reciprocated.

"It worried me that he still needed reassurance, so I did have questions for his family to see if he is ready for a committed relationship. His mother and siblings told me that Brooks is ready for a committed relationship once he meets the right girl and that he would be the best partner to have in life. After a great day, I felt confident in my relationship with Brooks and couldn't wait to see him again," she wrote.

As for Chris Siegfried, "Spending the day with Chris in his hometown felt effortless and I could picture what a life together would be like. I always have an amazing time with Chris and our relationship has progressed in such a wonderful way but I needed his family's blessing. I knew he was ready for a commitment but I needed to see if our lives meshed well together... and I was glad that his family gave us their blessings."

At this point in the season, there was one thing Hartsock was certain about.

"The relationships are now at a make-it-or-break-it stage and I can see my life with any of the three men left. After that hometown rose ceremony, I was 100 percent officially in love and feeling good," she said.

However, Hartsock experienced big bumps in the road on her way to determining her Final 3 suitors. She'll be confronted with the guys she had issues with during next week's The Bachelor: The Men Tell All special broadcast.

"I do know that I have a few choice words for a few of the guys," Hartsock explained.

"I just learned that [Brian Jarosinski] is too scared to show his face at The Men Tell All, but that is probably for the better. I definitely don't want to waste any time on a guy who showed up with a girlfriend. That is not the type of guy I was ever looking for, nor is he someone that any self-respecting woman in America should be with. I hope you don't get your heart broken by that jerk, [Stephanie Larimore]!"

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