The Bachelor bachelorette Clare Crawley, a 32-year-old hairstylist from Sacramento, CA, is still in the running for Juan Pablo Galavis' heart.

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Clare has been stealing Juan Pablo away for some alone time on group dates, rubbing the other girls the wrong way. However, Juan Pablo seems equally as interested in Clare, showering her in attention. After a steamy session in the pool of Juan Pablo's Vietnam suite, Clare asked the Bachelor to take a late-night swim with her in the ocean and he enthusiastically agreed.

But after he had some time to think, Juan Pablo regretted his actions and told Clare what they had done was wrong -- leading viewers and the media to speculate they had sex in the ocean. Clare was very hurt and taken aback by Juan Pablo's change of heart, and their conversation has yet to be finished as the pack is heading off to New Zealand.

During a Thursday conference call with reporters, Clare talked to Reality TV World about her The Bachelor experience thus far. Click here to read what she had to say. Below is another portion of her interview. Check back with us on Monday for more.

What's interesting is that Juan Pablo seemed so into the moment when you showed up to have your rendezvous with him in the ocean and then completely...

Clare Crawley: He was.

... changed his tune.  So, you know, I'm wondering if he was trying to cover his tracks in case he ended up choosing someone else.  I mean, the fact that he ran off with you in the middle of the night doesn't look great.  So do you think he was kind of trying to save face for later down the road if he had to address the issue?

Clare Crawley: You know, I'm not sure, to be quite honest.  I think that hindsight, possibly -- because like you just said, in the moment, he was into it, I was into it.  It was a mutual, innocent, having fun in the ocean.  I was doing something that was on my bucket list.  And I don't regret it -- to this second I don't regret it. 

Even after this outcome and all the questions and regrets and, you know, kind of discussions over it and tears.  I still don't regret it because you're swimming in the ocean, living in the moment, and falling in love.  I can only stand up for my intentions going into it.  Whether he was having different emotions after that, I couldn't control that.  But at the time, we both were into it.

I was wondering if it was more difficult for you to handle the conversation with Juan Pablo about the ocean swim at the cocktail party in the moment or whether it was harder to watch it back on TV months later? 

Clare Crawley: I think it's more just difficult to watch it now because -- oh, you know what?  That's a good question actually.  I think both then and now I didn't understand where it was coming from.  Like I said, I still don't regret it, and so, we did nothing wrong. 

And when it's a mutual thing, you don't -- and like I said as well in that episode, "Why didn't you tell me then?  Why didn't you stop me then?  You're a grown man.  I'm a grown woman.  I may cry a lot and I may be sensitive but I'm a grown woman and I can handle the truth."  And I don't know.  I think I wish in the moment, and even now, that I would have been a little bit more verbal. 

And you'll see in the future episode, the next episode, that I stand up for myself.  And I take pride in that.  And sometimes I can be sensitive about things but I wish -- it's hard not seeing me stand up more for myself, I guess, in the moment of that talk.

When Juan Pablo told you that he regretted what he did, like, how jarring or upsetting was it to you in that moment, especially now that we know that you really didn't do anything in the ocean besides swim and kiss?  Also, why do you think he regretted it so much?  It still seems a little bit unclear.

Clare Crawley: It is still unclear to me.  At that point -- and I will stand by this again, swimming in the ocean is not shameful.  And I just feel like... It's still, even just watching the episode, it's still kind of throws me off because I'm sitting here saying, "What did we do wrong? What at that time, what was it?" 

Because he used different excuses and different examples to say why he thought it was wrong.  And all the reasons that he described and all the reasons that he said to me was his daughter.  She was the example.  He didn't want his daughter seeing that.  But as you saw earlier in the evening, he took me back to his suite to go swimming in the pool.  If anything, that, to me, is a little bit more questionable. 

And I had a little bit of doubts about that more so than the ocean.  So it was very unclear.  There was no line drawn and he also used the explanation that he didn't feel like it was fair to the other women.  And my thoughts on that were, basically, that that's kind of why I went away.  And, first of all, it wasn't four in the morning.  I wanted to make that clear.  It wasn't four in the morning. 

But yes, it was late, but it wasn't four in the morning.  He was saying it was taking away time from the other women or it wasn't fair for the other women.  But that's why I did go away, was because I didn't want to take away time from the other women.  [It wasn't] involved with the other women. 

Every woman has the same opportunities, the same chances that I have, and anybody could've done that.  Anybody could've had a feeling in a moment.  I just happened to have been the one that said, "I've never swam in the ocean and it's on my bucket list." 

And it was something that I wanted to do with or without him to be quite honest.  And I had even -- the day prior -- invited the girls to go do it with me because, again, I had never swam in the ocean.  I guess the line wasn't clear, what his reasonings for it was.

Juan Pablo seems to kind of go back and forth on what he wants -- like kissing some, not kissing others and then crying after your day in the ocean.  Do you think this leads girls on or do you think maybe he's conflicted by being attracted to them and then maybe following his heart instead of his head?  Do you think that's trouble for him?

Clare Crawley: I think at the end of the day, we're all human and we're allowed to make mistakes.  We're allowed to change our mind.  We're allowed to feel conflicted and the thing that makes this hard is that it's on national television.

And I think somehow there's that interpretation like you're not allowed to change your mind or you're not allowed to make mistakes.  And, I don't know, I just -- it's definitely, definitely a struggle with him, I think.  And I just think that if you're going to be entering into something of this nature, you want to know exactly what you want and exactly what you're looking for and exactly your boundaries and exactly your integrity.

Have that all set up so you don't have regrets, so you don't have questions and feel wishy-washy.  You want to feel solid on what you want.  And that goes for even if you're not on TV. 

If you're saying you're ready to go into a serious relationship, you need to have it clear what you're looking for and what you want.  Otherwise, it just makes for some really confusing times and that's not easy for anybody.  [So] yes, and that's okay.  He's allowed to do that.  It makes for difficult times, for sure.

The women referred to the group date during Monday night as Clare's one-on-one date.  What were your feelings kind of watching the episode and hearing the comments that they had to say and their frustration?

Clare Crawley: I think it's definitely unfortunate watching it back because I had nothing but love for these girls.  And you can see -- I mean, I guess you guys cant see this but -- we all borrowed each other's clothes and helped each other with doing each other's hair and supported each other.  And I think we were all in this really vulnerable situation together. 

And so it's unfortunate to me hearing back how they felt and their thoughts on it and their description of it, because that wasn't my intention, for them to feel pushed to the side or to feel like they were all on our date.  It's, I think, there's a lot to be said for chemistry and a lot to be said for having that connection. 

And if somebody's feeling insecure about it or whatever, that's not something I can change or that's not something I can help them with. I think at the end of the day, we all were there to fall in love, hopefully.  You would hope. 

But I think I was doing my part in saying, "This is what I want and this is me, how I act, whether camera's around or not. This is how I'm going to be when I like a man and when I'm in a relationship or wanting to be in a relationship.  This is how I am."

And, again, they had the same opportunities that I had. And also, I think that it takes two to partake in something.  I can't just grab his hand and him have this limp, limp hand.  He's going to hold it back.  And if he does that, so be it.  If they're uncomfortable with it, I feel bad about that but we all had equal opportunities for that.  And it just happened to, at that time -- him and I were having a great date.

Who do you feel is your biggest competition in the house?

Clare Crawley: I, as strange as this sounds, it wasn't a competition.  I know that's probably cheesy to say, but I felt like it's not a competition.  It's not like the best wins.  It's more so you can't even make something happen.  You can't make a connection happen.  You can't make chemistry happen.  It's who he chooses and who works for him and what he's attracted to and what he likes.

And so whether he chooses to keep people around or not, it's not competition.  It was always, "What is he looking for?  What does he want?"  And at the end of the day, hopefully it's love and you can't compete for that.  There could be 500 women there.  There could be two women there.  If there's chemistry with somebody and a connection, it's not a competition.

When you first went to Juan Pablo, it seems like you were upset and sad, and now it sounds like you're very angry.  What are your real feelings on that?

Clare Crawley: I'm not angry at all; I'll tell you that.  I just -- this is my time to say my part in it.  And, again, I'm more so just wanting the reality of it to be out there and the truth to be out there instead of the, kind of, short clips that people are seeing. 

I want to be able to elaborate on that.  And so it's not anger.  It's just me wanting to describe the truth of my perspective and my intentions, and so it's not anger at all.  I can promise you that.

During a Thursday conference call with reporters, Clare talked to Reality TV World about her The Bachelor experience thus far. Click here to read what she had to say. Above is another portion of her interview. Check back with us on Monday for more.


About The Author: Elizabeth Kwiatkowski

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