Jon Gosselin clarifies Hailey relationship, says he's "misunderstood"
By Christopher Rocchio, 11/02/2009
Jon Gosselin has clarified that he and Hailey Glassman aren't completely pulling the plug on their relationship despite a Sunday statement in which had stated they had agreed to "take some time" to focus on themselves.
"We decided not to take a break, just slow things down, until I get through my divorce and I know everything is settled and okay," said Gosselin during a Sunday night appearance with Rabbi Shmuley Boteach at New York City's West Side Jewish Center, Peoplereported.
"I don't want another failure in my relationships. I don't want to make the same mistakes I made with Kate, with Hailey. I would just be repeating the pattern over again."
"I was standing right there [at The Insider]. [My manager Mike Heller] was standing right there. He was looking at me like, 'Oh my god, what is she saying?'" recalled Gosselin at his Sunday night appearance, according to People.
"He's looking at my career going down the tubes and I'm thinking, 'Good for her, she got all of this out.' "
While Gosselin added Glassman might have "used the wrong terminology" in addressing his shortcomings as a boyfriend, he said it reinforced the idea that he be "accountable" for his actions.
"Half the stuff I've done, if I look at my moral compass, I shouldn't have done," he said at the appearance, People reported. "I know that but I did it anyway. It's like fame canceled out conviction."
Gosselin said he'd like an opportunity apologize to his estranged wife Kate Gosselin in "private."
"I'll apologize to her for openly having relationships in the public eye. That was a huge mistake, because if she would've done that to me, I would have been extremely pissed off," he said.
"Not because our relationship is over, it's almost like a stab in the back. And now that I think about it, it was a very wrong thing to do. I definitely regret it."
"To ask for forgiveness from someone who may never forgive me is tough for me. I do apologize to Kate. I'm sorry for doing the things I did. I do ask for her forgiveness," said Gosselin, who added that he feels like he's "just misunderstood."
"I'm not a fame seeker. Everyday I look in the mirror and I wonder [why I'm famous]," he said. "I don't sing. I don't dance. I'm not a Nobel Peace Prizewinner. I just had eight kids and I had a show on TLC."
Although he only moved to the city a few months ago, Gosselin said "hardly" ever leaves his New York City apartment due to the fact that "paparazzi are everywhere."
"I don't want this. I never invited any of this," he said during the appearance, Us Weeklyreported. "All of a sudden I saw our marriage deteriorating. We were just trying to fix our marriage, but we couldn't because of the circumstances."
Gosselin said his 10-year marriage to Kate "started to go downhill in October of last year" and added they tried to stay together at TLC's request.
"[TLC] wanted us to stay married," he said, according to Us. "They were talking about branding and marketing, and we were just trying to think about our kids."
Gosselin said he also had problems with the way Jon & Kate Plus 8 was filmed and edited.
"They film conflict but not resolve. When Kate and I fought, we almost always resolved it, but you never saw that," he explained, Us reported. "They wanted to make it good cop, bad cop, so Kate was made out to be domineering, and I was just the laid-back one."
In addition, Gosselin claimed the show filmed so frequently his family never had a chance to regroup.
"We had no break until December of last year," he said, according to Us. "[Producers were trying] to create even more drama. They want train wrecks and they do what they have to to get them... They were promoting our dissolving marriage on TV!"
"I tried to get Kate to go to counseling, and she just didn't want anything to do with it," he said, according to Us. "I went alone, because I figured it couldn't hurt, but it obviously isn't effective in the same way when both people aren't there."
By January, Gosselin said he was fully aware of the extent his relationship with Kate had deteriorated.
"I knew our marriage was over. If one person is trying, and the other person isn't, you start feeling neglected. And, of course, it's not going to work," he explained, Us reported.
"I was getting no intimacy, no sensitivity from Kate. I felt emasculated and undesirable."
In addition, Gosselin said he "chose fame" because it made him "feel better" about himself.
"When you're not getting positive reinforcement at home, you're going to get it somewhere else," he said, Us reported.
"I was looking for the affirmation at the clubs and bars that I wasn't getting from Kate at home. I think I was giving love, and it was being reciprocated back to me. I didn't feel respected. She always said I was the ninth child, and I felt like the ninth child."
As for the other eight children, Gosselin explained the reason why he and Kate decided to have so many kids together is because it's "what God wanted us to do."
While he claims they had an option to abort some of the sextuplets during Kate's pregnancy, they ultimately decided to instead "keep all of them for religious reasons."
"We were praying to God for one more baby, and He gives us six!" he said, Us reported. "We weren't going to be like, 'Thanks God, but we don't want them.' I wasn't going to shake my fist at God."
Gosselin began consulting Boteach -- who starred on TLC's Shalom in the Home reality series in 2006 and 2007 -- earlier this month.
While Gosselin stated he and Glassman are slowing things down during the Sunday night appearance, Boteach had been pushing for the Jon & Kate Plus 8 start to make the split more finite.
"I have advised him to end it with Hailey. It is unacceptable to be in a relationship when he is still married and has to take care of kids who are hurting. It is not a healthy relationship," Boteach toldThe New York Post on Saturday.
"Jon will either be remembered as a man who cheats on his wife and is intoxicated by fame, or a man who has fought to redeem himself."