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HOME > The Bachelorette > The Bachelorette 4

'Bachelorette' star DeAnna Pappas cuts Graham Bunn, picks Final 3

By Steve Rogers, 06/24/2008 

Worried that she was falling for him more than he was falling for her and fearful that he would ultimately break her heart similar to twelfth-season The Bachelor star Brad Womack, DeAnna Pappas decided not to present a rose to Graham Bunn during last night's The Bachelorette fourth-season episode on ABC.

"You did what you thought you needed to do... so this is goodbye, forever," a stoic Graham told DeAnna after she eliminated him at the Rose Ceremony that followed DeAnna's hometown visits with the four men that were still in the running to receive her final rose.

"I made it perfectly clear what it was like for me the first time here with Brad," DeAnna told Graham.  "Obviously I felt like I had opened up -- [that] I had given my heart to someone who felt the same.  And in the end I felt like Brad [had] led me on.  Brad broke my heart.  I needed you to be open and honest and let your guard down and be there for me and right now I feel like I was being led on."

However Graham disagreed with DeAnna's comments and accused her attempting to "make it easier on yourself by thinking that," causing DeAnna -- who appeared additionally frustrated about Graham's non-emotional reaction to his elimination -- to angrily vent further.

"Believe me, this is not easy on me Graham!" an increasingly emotional DeAnna told Graham.  "You have no idea what I've been going through the last few days.  You have no idea.  You have no idea how hard it was to walk down there and stand there and call out those three names and you stand there swaying back and forth and smiling.  You have no idea how hard that was!"

"I can not be with someone who can not open up to me, that can't deal with problems in a relationship, that can't talk about things," DeAnna told Graham as he interspersed her comments with brief sarcastic replies.

"Obviously you don't see in me what you need to continue on, so your decision is easy now," Graham told DeAnna derisively.

But ironically, Graham's first visible sign of anger about his elimination only seemed to upset DeAnna further

"You don't get why it's not -- because I care deeply for you," said DeAnna.  "I have true, genuine feelings and all I wanted was you to be that person in the end and open up and truly let your guard down and see what this could have been.  But you couldn't do that."

"I am saying goodbye to the one person I thought I was falling in love with, that's how hard this is for me," DeAnna told Graham as she began crying.  "Because the one person that I let my guard down [to] and was falling for was not doing the same to me and I can't take the chance that in the end I would be standing there and you wouldn't choose me in return.  When you leave, it ends here."

After turning away from the cameras to shield some apparent tears of his own, Graham presented DeAnna with a parting gift: a handwritten letter.

"I knew there were some things that I wouldn't be able to say to you, so I'd like you to keep this," Graham told DeAnna as he placed the letter on the bench alongside her.  "You don't have read it -- you can throw it away, burn it, do whatever -- but everything I put in there is for you and for you alone.  Not for any show, not for any person but you.  You don't have to, but it would mean a lot to me if you read that one day."

While viewers didn't get to see the letter's contents, DeAnna did opt to read it after he left the mansion, and the words seemed to make her begin to question her decision.

"It was extremely hard to let Graham go because I'm falling in love with him, my heart is breaking right now," a still-crying DeAnna told the cameras.  "All he had to do was open up.  I'm tired of dating people that don't know what they want.  And now I'm scared that I'm second-guessing my decision [to let Graham go].  First and foremost I want to be in love, and what if that doesn't happen now?"

The Bachelorette's sixth fourth-season episode had begun with DeAnna visiting Jesse, a 25-year-old professional snowboarder from Breckenridge, CO.

"I'm nervous about meeting all four of the families," DeAnna remarked as the hometown visits began.  "I care for all four of the guys [and] I know that this is the week where things get serious.  Once you meet someone's family, emotionally there's no turning back, and I do believe that I will see a different side of these guys -- good or bad."

After meeting her at a local ski resort and teaching her how to snowboard, Jesse took DeAnna to his home.  Once there, they discussed   JSAK, a non-profit organization he founded to help disadvantaged children snowboard, and Jesse showed off his meticulously organized kitchen and extensive snowboard collection.

Jesse's parents then arrived for dinner, during which DeAnna scored points with Jesse's dad by being "down to Earth" and convincing him that she shared his own "honesty and integrity" values. 

"I'm a brutally honest person, and maybe that's half my problem," DeAnna told Jesse's father.  "When something is wrong I don't hide it because I don't want to waste the energy and the time being upset."

During a private post-dinner conversation, Jesse told his father that he wasn't "ready to get married in two weeks," causing his dad to tell him not to be "afraid of it" and to "open up" to DeAnna.

Later, Jesse's father also attempted to allay DeAnna's concerns that Jesse might not be ready to get married.

"I think he is ready but afraid... based on past experiences," he told DeAnna.

Later that night, DeAnna and Jesse enjoyed a horse-drawn carriage ride in which the pair shared their first kiss.

Following her visit to Colorado, DeAnna visited Jeremy, a 30-year-old real estate attorney from Dallas, TX.

After beginning the visit with a motorcycle ride of Dallas and a tour of Jeremy's home, the pair settled down and looked through Jeremy's family photo album.  As they looked through the photos, Jeremy also shared stories of his deceased parents and read some of his old journal entries about his deceased mother's final days.

"I definitely felt very touched that Jeremy read [that] to me, the words that he wrote in that journal are the same words that I feel for my own mother and the time that my mother passed away," DeAnna told the camera afterwards.  "Jeremy and I have this bond that I've never, ever had with any other person."

Afterwards, the couple had dinner with Jeremy's brothers Jason and Patrick and Meridith, Jason's wife.  Although the brothers liked DeAnna, Jason made it clear to DeAnna that he didn't want to see Jason's heart broken.

"We're on one side here," Jason told DeAnna.  "We're not on your side, we're on Jeremy's side."

"They grilled me, for the first time I got sweaty palms and was really, really nervous," DeAnna later told the cameras about her conversation with Jason and Patrick.  "I believe that Jeremy's brothers just don't want to see him hurt.  He hasn't really attached himself to another woman since his mother passed away and they're just being protective, they want the best for their brother."

After her visit to Dallas, DeAnna visited Jason, a 31-year-old account executive and single father from Kirkland, WA. 

Following a tour and cocktails at the top of Seattle's Space Needle tower, DeAnna got to meet and spend some time with Ty, Jason's 3-year-old son.

"Ty yelled 'Daddy,' Jason took off running, and they grabbed each other," DeAnna said of Jason's reunion with his son. "I lost it from that moment, that was the most perfect moment I've seen in my life.  It was like something from a movie.  Once I saw Jason with his son, that was it for me.  I could have never imagined that it would all be so perfect, it would all fit right into place."

"Seeing him today with his child, it's what any woman could wish for -- a man that's not only okay with being around children but absolutely loves and adores kids," DeAnna gushed.  "I don't have to wonder if he'd be a good father or would love his children, I already see that.  He's a wonderful father.  No one grows up thinking I want to be a stepmother, but after meeting Jason and being with Ty, in a few weeks I very possibly could be."

Things seemed to continue to go well during the threesome's dinner with Jason's parents, two brothers, and his sister-in-law.

"Jason's family is probably the most like my own family, it's a large group, which is what I'm used to," DeAnna explained later.  "Jason's family was so special.  They went completely out of their way to make me feel welcome.  They actually cooked all the Greek foods, I felt at home.  Jason's family was like my own big fat Greek family."

"DeAnna has the attributes Jason loves -- she's beautiful and she has a sparkle in her spirit," Jason's mother Irene told the cameras.  "I think we'd have a really good time with her."

"DeAnna has a wonderful spark and joie de vivre," Jason's father Dennis said after DeAnna seemed to allay his concerns about how she felt about Ty.  "She has this love for sports and activity and that would just make her a natural part of the family."

After visiting with Jason, DeAnna traveled to Raleigh, NC to visit the hometown of Graham, a 29-year-old professional basketball player who now lives in New York City.

After shooting some hoops in the local high school gymnasium where Graham starred as a high school basketball player, DeAnna and Graham visited Graham's parents, Ike and Karen, at their home.

During the visit DeAnna used some private time to express her concerns that Graham might not be ready for a serious relationship and marriage to Graham's mother, and her answer didn't seem to be particularly encouraging.

"He's not really had a lot of serious girlfriends, finding someone that lasts past four weeks or something is difficult for Graham," Karen told DeAnna.  "He also doesn't bring people in totally, so he's sort of lonely.  Even though he's got such a broad breadth of friends he's a little bit of a loner."

"That's what I'm scared of -- I do feel like I like Graham a lot and I'm falling for him more than he is me, and I don't want to get hurt in the end," DeAnna told Karen.

"You'll make the decision that works for you," Karen replied.

DeAnna told Graham about her concerns and attempted to get him to open up some more after the visit with his parents ended, however Graham seemed uninterested.

"This is how I am," Graham told DeAnna.

By the time DeAnna left Raleigh, it was clear that her hometown visit with Graham had left her frustrated.

"At the end of the day... he completely shut me out again," DeAnna told the cameras.  "I'm just disappointed,  I don't know that I can continue spending the rest of my life begging Graham to fall in love with me."

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