During the first half of The Bachelor's Season 22 finale on Monday night, viewers watched Arie and Becca's excruciating breakup that was raw, uncut and unedited.
Arie broke up with his fiancee because he was still in love with his runner-up, Lauren Burnham. As Arie confessed he couldn't stop thinking about Lauren, cameras stayed on Becca's face as she sobbed into her hands and hyperventilated.
"There's been a lot of guilt and a lot of shame," Arie, 36, toldPeople. "I know it must have been extremely difficult for Becca. But I only had one foot in that relationship, and that wasn't fair to her."
Arie confessed to Becca when he crushed her heart that he was only "half in" their relationship and therefore wanted to explore the possibility of rekindling his romance with Lauren.
So that leaves one question on everyone's mind: Why did Arie propose marriage to Becca in Peru if he was so conflicted about his final choice?
"I didn't want to let anyone down. But I needed more time to make that decision," Arie admitted. "I made a huge mistake. I went with my head, and I shut down those feelings for Lauren."
As shown in Monday night's episode, Arie's head appeared to lead him to Becca after his family expressed she would be their preference due to her confidence in their love and how she'd be a better fit for his life and personality.
Lauren was also more guarded and reserved, so Arie noted that choosing her would be a risk. Based on such footage, Arie made the decision he thought would be safe at the time, and he was left unfulfilled.
"Immediately after the proposal, I just had this hole in my heart. I tried to concentrate on my relationship with Becca, and I really made a push to make it work. But I wasn't getting over Lauren," Arie told People.
"I leaned on... like [Rachel Lindsay], [JoJo Fletcher], [Sean Lowe], and asked them, 'Is this normal?' Everyone was like, 'Yes, give it some time.' I was very open with Becca about how I was feeling. It must not have been easy for her. But I knew that it was more than just missing someone. I had to take this risk."
The second part ofThe Bachelor's Season 22 finale is set to air Tuesday night as an After the Final Rose special from 8-10PM ET/PT on ABC.