The Bachelor alum Grant Ellis has admitted he "spiraled" after his breakup with Juliana Pasquarosa, which resulted in him saying some things he didn't mean.

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Less than three months after their engagement aired on The Bachelor's Season 29 finale on ABC, Juliana and Grant announced their split in June.

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That same month, Grant claimed via Instagram that he was "not heartbroken" by the breakup, which prompted criticism from fans that he was cold and must not have cared deeply for his former fiancee.

Grant clarified what he was feeling after parting ways with Juliana during the Monday, November 3 episode of "The Ben & Ashley I: Almost Famous" podcast.

"I was going through a lot, you know, a very public breakup, and I kind of spiraled a little bit," Grant explained to the podcast's co-host Ben Higgins.

When asked directly about his surprising and somewhat disappointing "not heartbroken" remark, Grant blamed a "defense mechanism" he has.

"I think sometimes, because of the way that I grew up and where I'm from, I don't think a lot of people can relate to that in the Bachelor Nation audience," Grant said.

"If there's something that hurts you, you kind of just shrug it off and you move forward. And that's something I kind of do, which I'm working on."

Grant said he's been trying harder to express how he feels in any given moment.

"When it comes to things that make me feel good or happiness or love, I express that, and I wear my heart on my sleeve," Grant shared.

"But when it comes to things that cause me pain or hurt, I kind of shrug it off and act like it doesn't bother me as much as it does. So when you're the lead, everything you say -- obviously people took that the wrong way."

But Grant insisted that he was "hurt" and it was tough for Juliana to break off their engagement.

"We had broken up when I was trying to make it work, and it was a very public breakup," Grant revealed.

"So me saying that it doesn't bother me, obviously wasn't the right move. But yes, it's like a defense mechanism for me, just saying, 'Oh, I'm not heartbroken,' but really, you're hurt. That's what it was, for me."

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Ben asked Grant to share what he'd tell the public if he could go back and redo that moment.

"I don't know if I would've said anything," Grant admitted.

"I think regardless, people -- one thing this experience has taught me is you can't go wrong with being yourself because people are going to love you or hate you based off of biases they have against you. So I think, with me, maybe I wouldn't have crashed out."

Grant also said he was "getting so much backlash" from Bachelor Nation for his broken engagement.

"I got a lot of hate just for being myself," Grant vented.

Grant shared how he had grown up in a tough neighborhood in New Jersey and his father was addicted to drugs, which made him go into The Bachelor experience reserved and careful.

"I was afraid that people would judge me," Grant admitted.

"And I think that came across on-camera instead of me letting loose and being myself... I could've been more myself, but I'm happy that I was a gentleman during the show."

Grant concluded, "I don't have any regrets, but looking back, maybe I shouldn't have crashed out so hard post-show."

Shortly after Grant and Juliana announced their split, Grant hinted via Instagram that calling off the engagement wasn't his idea.

"I didn't break up with anybody," Grant said in late June. "It was mutual. It was a mutual thing. It wasn't working."

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When asked for her take on whether the breakup was mutual, Juliana hesitated and shared with Jason Tartick on his "Trading Secrets" podcast, "It was. I think after the initial conversation, we had a lot of conversations that it made sense for the both of us."

But the breakup didn't make much sense to Bachelor Nation.

Although there were rumors Juliana and Grant's relationship was on the rocks, the pair had laughed them off earlier this year.

Grant and Juliana had even been insisting for months prior to their split that they were going strong and planned to move in together in Boston this past summer.

Juliana and Grant got engaged in the Dominican Republic at the Final Rose Ceremony of The Bachelor's 29th season.

The Bachelor finale that aired in March had shown Grant appearing to still be undecided between Juliana and his other Final 2 bachelorette, Litia Garr, only minutes before the Final Rose Ceremony.

Grant had said he was in love with both women, and also repeatedly told Litia that he was in love with her.

But Grant chose to dump Litia in second place, leaving her feeling blindsided and devastated.

Shortly after The Bachelor's Season 29 finale aired, Grant faced backlash for allegedly leading Litia on.

Litia claimed on The Bachelor: After the Final Rose in March that Grant had confirmed they were getting engaged the night before the Final Rose Ceremony.

Litia proceeded to throw shade at Grant on social media once the show wrapped.

RELATED LINK: 'THE BACHELOR' FRANCHISE COUPLES NOW: WHO IS STILL TOGETHER?? (PHOTOS)

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About The Author: Elizabeth Kwiatkowski

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