Simon Cowell: I regret my Lauren Silverman affair, but the result of it steered me from going down a bad path
By Elizabeth Kwiatkowski, 04/08/2014
Simon Cowell admits he's not proud of the fact his relationship with now-girlfriend Lauren Silverman began as an affair when she was married to his former close friend Andrew Silverman.
"I regret that part," Simon, 54, told the U.K.'s Daily Mirror newspaper.
After news spread of the affair and Lauren's pregnancy back in July 2013, Andrew filed for divorce from Lauren on July 15, citing adultery and naming Simon a co-respondent.
But Simon's affair with Lauren, 36, also led to the birth of their two-month-old son Eric Philip Cowell on February 14.
"But then of course you have a baby and you look at the baby and you kind of go, 'This is what happened from it,'" he said. "In this situation, you are not going to come out of this well because of the circumstances. It is not something I am proud of or wanted to happen in terms of hurting anyone. It just happened."
The X Factor creator and former American Idol judge said he was ready to handle all the consequences of his actions.
"You have to deal with it and man up to it. You have to accept the responsibility and the criticism," Simon told the Mirror. "All I can say is, my advice to you is if it happens to you, you just have to deal with it a day at a time and own up to your responsibilities."
However, in some "weird way," Simon admitted he "needed" that drama to unfold in his life -- which at that point, was becoming very mundane.
"Did a doctor say I was depressed? Yeah. I mean I knew it myself," he revealed, adding that he spent weeks alone in his Los Angeles home last year just working and stressing out about the success or failure of The X Factor in the United States.
"You are always looking for the next high from the show, and then actually, if you haven't got anyone to share it with per se or if you haven't got a family around you, you can go a bit nuts. You can start to live a slightly abnormal life and there is no question of doubt I was heading down that path. Too many late-night phone calls -- too obsessed with things."
But now that Simon has a family with Lauren and his two dogs Squiddly and Diddly -- who all live with him in his West London mansion -- his mental state has drastically improved.
"My life has changed, but I am probably more focused on what I am doing now than I was a year ago. Maybe because it puts things in perspective having two people in my life who I am responsible for. There were times last year when I would live in two rooms, you know, [the] kitchen and bedroom in your house," Simon told the Mirror.
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"It is a weird existence when you live on your own. On the phone all night, blah blah blah. Now the house is full of people, it has become a home rather than a house. There is something about the noise of people around you that maybe triggers something back to when you were a kid in my house. That is probably what I am going through and why I am embracing it so easily."
Simon also gushed about his son Eric, who is named after his father.
"Eric doesn't cry much, he's as good as gold. He's beginning to recognize my voice and things like that," Simon explained. "Everyone said, 'It must be turning your life upside down,' but I love it. The dogs are mad and Lauren is not exactly the most quiet person in the world."
In fact, Simon apparently loves the fact Lauren isn't quiet and she offers good perspective on important matters.
"The great thing about Lauren is she loves what I do, so she sits in if I am watching Britain's Got Talent for example, and she has got a good opinion. And I seem to have got my mojo back again," the Britain's Got Talent producer explained.
As for what's ahead for Simon and Lauren, the reality TV mogul is keeping an open mind, even when it comes to having more children and getting married.
"I wouldn't rule anything out. From here on in I am not predicting anything. The important thing this year is we have fun with what we are doing," Simon told the newspaper. "Wait and see."