'Married at First Sight' recap: Olivia accuses Brett of being different off camera and he calls her "insecure," and Henry complains Christina is rude
By Elizabeth Kwiatkowski, 09/23/2020
Married at First Sight featured Olivia claiming Brett Lindsey was a different person on and off camera and Brett calling his wife "insecure" as well as Henry Rodriguez complaining Christina had the tendency to be "rude" during Wednesday night's Season 11 episode on Lifetime.
Married at First Sight experts Pastor Calvin Roberson, Dr. Pepper Schwartz, and Dr. Viviana Coles matched five couples to marry at first sight on Season 11 of the reality series.
The couples starring on this season are Christina, a 30-year-old flight attendant from Houma, LA, and Henry, a 35-year-old clinical recruiter from Arabi, LA; Karen Landry, a 30-year-old consultant from New Orleans, LA, and Miles Williams, a 26-year-old who works with youth from Spartanburg, SC; and Amani, a 29-year-old non-profit worker who was raised in Chicago, IL, and Woody Randall, a 30-year-old teacher and coach from New Orleans.
The other couples are Amelia Fatsi, a 27-year-old medical resident from Richmond, VA, and Bennett Kirschner, a 28-year-old artistic director from Montvale, NJ, as well as Brett, a 35-year-old with a career in information technology from Gretna, LA, and Olivia, a 30-year-old nurse from Bossier City, LA.
The Married at First Sight broadcast began on Day 25 of marriage with Miles asking Karen whether she trusted him.
Karen said she trusted her husband "to a certain extent." Karen explained she felt comfortable with Miles and knew he didn't mean any harm or have ill intent for their relationship; however, she didn't trust him fully yet.
Miles agreed and told his wife, "I don't feel like I can give you my full heart right now, but I don't think you'd ever hurt me intentionally."
The couple discussed how they could build trust by just showing up and coming through in certain moments. Miles added that Karen had yet to give him a reason not to trust her.
Olivia and Brett were then shown meeting with Dr. Viviana and Olivia revealed their biggest challenges were living together and disagreeing over whether to have children down the road.
Olivia admitted, "I think if Brett didn't own his house, it wouldn't be an issue."
"Oh, I'm so irresponsible," Brett noted sarcastically.
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Olivia said that's not what she meant and she wished she and Brett could pick a place together and just have more options.
"Stupid equity. What was I thinking?!" Brett said.
"It's not the time for sarcasm," Viviana pointed out.
Olivia said she was having a harder time than her husband because Brett lived far away from her work and so it added to her commuting time. Olivia told the cameras that time she spent driving was less time she got to spend and have dinners with Brett.
Viviana told the couple to take some of that pressure off because they didn't have to have everything figured out so early into their marriage.
On the topic of children, Brett said he would "absolutely like to have kids," and Olivia told Viviana, "I would consider it. And I think he sees my 'I would considerate it' as an absolute no."
Olivia said she might not ever get to the point of wanting to have kids but her feelings could progress and change with time and age.
Viviana said she got the impression from Olivia that she'd want to have a child under the right circumstances and if she ended up in a happy, successful and loving marriage. Viviana didn't seem to think Olivia was just a "no" in that area.
Olivia also shared she wasn't comfortable with PDA, and Brett said she had a "weird mental block" when it comes to showing affection in front of others.
"He's very touchy and I'm not," Olivia noted.
"Not once has she ever initiated a touch with me -- not once," Brett said in a confessional.
Brett said he had feelings for Olivia that would make him want to explore physical intimacy but he didn't want to put pressure on her, and Olivia confirmed they had to consummate their marriage.
When asked why the pair had yet to have sex, Brett replied, "That's a good question -- why?."
Olivia shared how sex is meaningful to her and she wanted there to be more feelings involved "before that just happens." Olivia apparently told Brett that if he thought the timing was right, she didn't want him not to try in fear she'd deny him.
Brett, however, noted there's a difference between being receptive and open to sexuality vs. actually wanting it to happen and desiring the act.
Viviana told Olivia that Brett wanted to know sex would be meaningful to his wife as well, and Olivia acknowledged Brett would probably grow frustrated with her lack of physical touch.
Brett said there was a certain amount of perseverance he was putting into it and Olivia wasn't always "super receptive."
"Normally that's the kind of thing that would shut you down, because rejection sucks. It's not great, especially when it's your wife," Brett said.
"But I don't intend on giving up, because you get this sense when she looks at you that, like, she's really looking at you -- not just viewing you -- but she really sees you, just the way she smiles too."
Brett said there's a certain smile Olivia flashes only when she's really happy and it's "so beautiful" and "incredible." Brett compared the smile to "clouds breaking and the sun coming through."
Brett gushed about Olivia's personality and said it felt good to earn Olivia's smile.
Olivia said it was a matter of needing to fully trust Brett and feeling like she's in a safe place. Olivia said Brett could win her over by opening up and communicating more.
Amelia and Bennett then FaceTimed with Amelia's aunt Thalia, who had been a big influence in Amelia's life. Amelia said Bennett was on her level with "pretty much everything."
The only issue seemed to be that Amelia had to move in a couple of months for residency and Bennett loved his life and community in New Orleans.
"I don't know if moving away with me, potentially, is what he wants," Amelia told the cameras.
Bennett told Thalia that he and his wife would cross that bridge once they got to it.
Karen and Miles then got a visit from Viviana, who asked if the couple felt married. Karen immediately said, "No," and said she needed time to build that bond and typically moves slow in relationships.
Miles said he never expected to feel so connected to Karen just three weeks into their marriage, but Karen said she was on the opposite end of the spectrum because she was trying to get to know Miles all the while getting used to be documented and filmed constantly.
Viviana shared how most married men say they feel secure in their relationship when their wives want them sexually.
Karen admitted she didn't want to talk about sex in detail on camera because her parents were watching, and Viviana said, "I totally get where you're coming from... but you can do it in subtle, lady-like ways whether it's a note, a look, a text or a touch."
Karen insisted she's always intentional in her actions and would never try to play around with Miles.
Karen didn't want to frustrate Miles by teasing him with physical touch and then stopping halfway through, so she decided it would be better not to show much affection at all. Viviana said it made sense to not light a fire and then put it out almost immediately.
With all that being said, Viviana suggested the couple should just take sexual intercourse off the table and do other fun and sexy stuff such as snuggling and making out.
Viviana said setting a boundary would keep the spouses on the same page and allow them to meet in the middle. Once they became ready for sex, Viviana said the act would feel more organic.
Meanwhile, Amani and Woody sat outside and discussed their turnons.
Woody shared how he loved it when he could be honest and Amani would listen to him, and Amani said she appreciated Woody's thoughtful gestures such as making her breakfast tacos the way she likes them.
Woody said his favorite sexual position was from the side, and Amani giggled and revealed she liked having sex with her legs over a man's shoulders because of the angle.
Woody also told Amani that he had given up on a relationship with his father because they both went too far and a lot of damage had been done. Woody said counseling helped him to get through that, adding that his father had changed after he went to jail when Woody was nine years old.
Amani gushed about how Woody had two new dads, her own father and stepfather. Amani appreciated how Woody had opened up about that story, and she said she felt closer to him than ever and her feelings for him were increasing towards love.
"I'm in a 'strong like' with my husband," Amani noted.
Later on, Karen and Miles went to a fitness studio together to exercise and work out, and the spouses had some friendly competition with each other. Miles and Karen talked trash to each other and cracked jokes, and Karen said she liked that.
That night, Viviana sat down with Christina and Henry for a conversation. Christina said there was "definitely something there" between them but they didn't start out on the right foot.
Henry admitted he had "folded up like a card table" earlier in the process because he was very uncomfortable and Christina was more emotional about things.
Viviana told Henry that he has emotions but hasn't found much use in expressing them as he feels them. Viviana told Henry that he needed to allow for that to happen more often in order to build intimacy.
Christina said she was willing to be patient and be Henry's best friend, adding, "We are friends who are married." Viviana warned the couple, however, "the friendzone is real" and it can result in "an unfulfilling marriage."
Christina told Henry the ball needed to be in his court in terms of initiating intimacy and she wasn't used to waiting that long in relationships.
Henry admitted he gets to know a woman emotionally and personality-wise before he wants to sleep with her, and Christina said that's a good thing and she wished Henry had communicated that to her earlier.
Christina said she liked how Henry seemed to take sex very seriously, adding, "I had to figure that out on my own."
Viviana asked the couple to work on physical touch, and Henry suggested they could cuddle and hold hands. Henry also put a hand on Christina's leg during the conversation, and Viviana said she didn't want to see the pair "get stuck" in that area.
"I can start taking the lead after someone else takes the lead first," Christina noted. "And that's what I'm attracted to. That's a non-negotiable for me."
Christina wanted Henry to show that he wanted her, but Viviana told Christina not to be too passive considering it takes Henry a while to feel comfortable showing affection.
Viviana asked Christina to show how she'd be receptive if Henry made a move rather than just telling him, and Henry promised the next week would be less awkward and forced.
On Day 26 of marriage, Amelia and Bennett put their foreheads together and shared how they felt most closely connected to each other emotionally and could enhance their sexual connection.
They also discussed their favorite parts of each other's minds, bodies and personalities. Bennett, for example, said he loved Amelia's hips, and Amelia gushed about her husband's beautiful face.
"Right now, it feels amazing to have a husband," Amelia said. "I wouldn't have really imagined that it would actually be so amazing."
After Amelia and Woody were shown playfully disagreeing over the timing of when to get a dog -- with Amani being pro dog sooner rather than later and Woody wanting a dog after a child -- footage flashed to Day 27 of marriage.
Olivia and Brett were shown enjoying drinks at a restaurant and Olivia said she'd like Brett to work on how he looked at her during serious conversations. Olivia didn't like Brett's sarcastic looks, saying it seemed like he didn't take things seriously at times.
Olivia said she didn't like Brett looking at her like she was dumb or joking around during serious times, and Brett explained he just tried to make things light but that didn't take away from his serious effort.
"Sometimes I feel like you just hold back and don't say what you really want to say," Olivia told her husband.
"I disagree... I'm not holding back what I want to say," Brett noted.
Olivia told Brett that she wanted him to be genuine with her during serious conversations and not provide politically-correct answers or just go through the motions or the steps.
Olivia apparently wanted Brett to open up on and off camera and be the same in both situations. Olivia wasn't sure Brett was listening to her or being sincere, but Brett insisted he was taking it all in and Olivia was just arguing with herself.
"It's like you're a different person sometimes, like you were putting on a show for the cameras," Olivia admitted.
Olivia, for instance, acknowledged how Brett could have told her off-camera she has an incredible smile rather than laying it on thick in front of Viviana on camera.
"I don't think I'm doing anything different," Brett said. "I think you're misconstruing intention because the fact of the matter is 90 percent of the time we're doing things, we are on camera anyway."
Brett felt he acted the same way all the time and argued Olivia became more reserved when cameras were rolling. Olivia said she was being pretty honest and open in that exact moment, and Brett called it "a first," which pissed Olivia off.
"I have been very clear and upfront about how I feel. Just because I can joke around about stuff doesn't mean that I'm not serious," Brett told the cameras.
"I care about her, but I don't know what I can do differently to fix this. She's got to get over [sh-t] or else she's not going to be okay in this marriage."
Olivia then asked Brett if he really wanted to be married to her, and he said, "Yes... Wow, you're really insecure."
"Am I?" Olivia asked in frustration and annoyance.
That same day, Miles tried to get Karen to be vulnerable by playing a fishbowl game in which they had to ask each other questions. The couple discussed pet names for each other and Miles revealed it bothers him when people cut him or diminish him because he's young.
Miles insisted to his wife that he's mature for his age and has typically dated older women because they're on the same page in life.
Karen asked Miles to be honest with her when she made comments that upset him because she realized a relationship can't be butterflies and rainbows all the time.
Karen wanted Miles to be real with her, and in turn, Karen said she wasn't closed off just because she wanted to take things slowly in their relationship. Karen hoped to change Miles' perspective of her because she believed she was willing to be vulnerable and intimate in certain ways.
That night, Christina and Henry asked each other questions while one person was blindfolded. Henry shared how he can be very critical of himself and sometimes insecure because he used to be overweight.
Christina thought she could help Henry get over that and was surprised his past still bothered him like that.
Christina admitted a lack of confidence would be a dealbreaker for her, and Henry didn't really know how to take that since he had just admitted to his wife feeling good about himself was one of his "biggest issues or weaknesses."
"I just think it's rude. Every now and then, she just makes little comments that make me feel disappointed, like, that's just kind of the situation right now. So, whatever," Henry vented in a confessional.
On Day 28 of marriage, Brett took Olivia to a fun cocktail-making class together that she really enjoyed. Brett hoped to change Olivia's perception of him, but he said there was no resolution to their problem because he could only continue being himself.
Olivia suggested she and Pastor Cal should talk about their issues with Pastor Cal because he really helped them before. While Brett agreed that would be fine, he noted, "I don't have a problem."
Later on, Bennett and Henry met up for drinks and Bennett said he was really enjoying Amelia's company and their futures were definitely merging together.
Amelia was going to find out where she had to move for residency in one week, and Bennett acknowledged he would have "a really tough decision" to make soon. Bennett didn't look forward to leaving family, friends and co-workers.
Henry told Bennett that his marriage had been a struggle because he and Christina had a lot of differences and were "on different wavelengths."
Henry recalled Christina's comment about a lack of confidence being a dealbreaker "a gut punch" since he struggles with self-esteem daily, but Bennett said it takes a degree of confidence to self-reflect and realize how one could grow or improve.
After Henry's outing, Christina dug more into Henry's past and why he lived in such "an unconfident world."
Christina felt there were deeper issues to solve, but Henry said he was just wired with a lack of confidence and it was "hard to change."
Henry said growing his self-esteem didn't exactly top his list of priorities, but Christina made it known she would like Henry to work on his confidence because she clearly didn't think that side of him was attractive.
The episode ended with Woody and Amani playing sexy games such as dancing with each other or licking chocolate syrup off each other.