Fedotowsky claims that part of the reason she was so blindsided by Frank Neuschaefer's decision to leave the show and reunite with a former girlfriend was because she had sensed he still had feelings for an ex but he'd dismissed and brushed aside her questions about the possibility.
"I did not expect it at all. Back in Iceland, I asked Frank about his ex girlfriends. I told him that I could sense that he was not over his ex, so I asked if he still had feeling for the ex that went to Paris with him. He told me that he did not have feelings for her anymore and we moved passed it," Fedotowsky wrote in her People blog about Monday night's The Bachelorette broadcast.
The Bachelorette star apparently believed Neuschaefer had visited Paris with his most recent girlfriend and the 31-year-old retail manager from Geneva, IL didn't clarify that he had actually been dating Nicole Caruso -- the woman he eventually decided he still was in love with -- more recently.
"My instincts were dead on. I just didn't have the right ex," Fedotowsky wrote. "I really wish that Frank had been more honest with me."
According to Fedotowsky, she actually gave Neuschaefer -- who later told The Bachelorette star he hadn't told her he still had feelings for Nicole previously because he was "worried" she might tell him to "leave" -- multiple chances to let her know about his conflicting emotions.
"[That] wasn't the only time I gave him a chance to be honest," she wrote. "In Turkey, after Justin left, I went up to the guys' suite, looked each of them in the eye and told them that if any of them had someone back home this was their chance to say something. I flat out asked everyone. Frank said nothing."
While she would like to be "happy" that Neuschaefer appears to have found love with Nicole, The Bachelorette star still isn't willing to forgive the way he handled the situation.
"If Frank has found love, then I really want to be happy for him. However, I have a hard time excusing what he did to me when I gave him so many chances to be honest," she wrote.
As Monday night's The Bachelorette broadcast showed, Fedotowsky initially had no idea what was going on when Neuschaefer began their planned Tahiti date by announcing "we need to talk" and revealing he had decided he was in love with Nicole.
"When I first saw Frank I thought maybe he was feeling unsure about the other guys again and that I had to reassure him again. Then I thought maybe something tragic happened and I was super worried for him. I quickly realized that Frank was leaving. I was heartbroken," Fedotowsky wrote.
"After Frank left, I felt defeated. Don't get me wrong, I was very well aware that I had two unbelievable men left, but I couldn't help but think that my journey as the Bachelorette wasn't going to work out," she wrote.
However Neuschaefer wasn't the sole reason Fedotowsky felt that way.
"[It] was not because I thought Frank was the guy for me, but because this was the second guy to leave the show for a girl back home. I remember thinking, 'First Justin, now Frank. Who's next? Can this really work for me?'" she wrote before adding that her dating history also includes another relationship in which she was dumped for an ex-girlfriend.
In hindsight, Fedotowsky feels Neuschaefer made the right decision despite the pain it caused,
"In the end, Frank and I are both better off after what happened. I really cared for him and I always will," she wrote. "[I know] how lucky I am to have Chris and Roberto left. I am truly blessed."
(Photo credit ABC)
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