'Married at First Sight' recap: Dr. Viviana criticizes Olajuwon's "archaic" view and scolds Lindsey, Katina cries over "lazy" accusation
By Elizabeth Kwiatkowski, 03/10/2022
Married at First Sight featured expert, Dr. Viviana Coles, arguing with Olajuwon Dickerson over his "archaic" and "flimsy" view of an ideal wife and him calling Katina Goode "lazy," Viviana scolding Lindsey Georgoulis for bashing sex with Mark Maher, and all the couples building a physical connection during the Season 14 episode Wednesday night on lifetime.
The five brides who were selected to wed on Season 14 of Married at First Sight were Alyssa Ellman, 30, Katina, 29, Jasmina Outar, 29, Lindsey, 34, and Noi Phommasak, 33.
The five grooms who are starring on the new edition are Chris Collette, 35, Olajuwon, 29, Michael Morency, 28, Mark, 37, and Steve Moy, 38.
The couples matched by Married at First Sight experts Viviana, Dr. Pepper Schwartz, and Pastor Calvin Roberson are Lindsey and Mark, Alyssa and Chris, Jasmina and Michael, Katina and Olajuwon, and Noi and Steve.
Chris and Alyssa, however, chose to divorce one week into the experiment, and so other than a bowling night with their co-stars, they haven't been featured on the show since.
The Married at First Sight broadcast began on Day 22 of marriage with Lindsey Zooming with her close friend Melanie when she was at her apartment alone. Lindsey explained how Mark had begun being intimate with her and then pulled away.
Mark explained how he wanted more of an emotional connection before continuing to have sex, but Lindsey said that couldn't be so important to him if he had been willing to make the first move on her on their wedding night.
"He hasn't had sex with me for two weeks, 14 days," Lindsey shared.
"I took a little nap and he takes my clothes off like we're going to have sex, and I'm like, 'Okay, I'm into it.' No, it was like a quick and dirty. He didn't worry about me at all, and I was like, 'It doesn't work like that. There are two people here.'"
Lindsey claimed Mark finished quickly and the encounter wasn't emotional to her in any sense and so she went on to pleasure herself with a vibrator.
Lindsey complained to her pal that Mark wasn't pleasing her "at all," adding, "My sexual needs were being met more when I was single and dating. My thing is then, what is an emotional connection to you? Help me define it."
Melanie advised Lindsey to slow down her speed and let Mark put the pieces of his bread together before she toasts it. But Lindsey worried she and Mark may never have sex again and she'd become "the Sahara Desert."
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"I need a lot more than he's giving me, and it's not enough," Lindsey explained.
Meanwhile, Katina felt bad that Olajuwon didn't think she had been stepping up as a wife. Katina said she took being a wife very seriously and was upset over the idea she had been disappointing her partner as well as herself. She noted how it was an eye-opening evening.
Viviana, a relationship and sex therapist, then paid Olajuwon and Katina a visit at their apartment. Viviana revealed how the experts were well aware of everything that was going on.
Viviana asked why she already heard about cooking and food when it came to this couple's marriage, and Olajuwon said he needs food from his wife.
"So did you not eat before you were married?" Viviana asked.
"I could grab anything on the go or make something easy or small, but I have a wife now -- and she works at home," Olajuwon responded.
Viviana asked Olajuwon where he came up with these ideas about what "a skillset is for a wife," and Olajuwon replied, "That's just in me."
Olajuwon claimed he's okay with taking care of the household if he's happy, but if he's not happy, he's going to ask himself why he's in the marriage. Olajuwon also insisted there more problems that just Katina's lack of cooking and cleaning.
"The remark of her saying, 'I'll clean half the floor,' bothers me, because I'm now questioning, 'Are we mentally on the same level?'" Olajuwon admitted.
"Mentally?" Viviana asked in surprise and disbelief. "You're questioning her mental capabilities based on wanting to clean maybe less?... That's what you just said!"
Olajuwon said that's not what he meant and explained how he'd help Katina clean as long as they're working as a team and she's achieving his same level of effort. Olajuwon said Katina's lack of contribution was affecting their marriage.
Katina expressed how she feared Olajuwon would threaten to leave her if she did something wrong.
"I think she thinks of 'I' [and not me or us]," Olajuwon told Viviana. "I talked to her about laziness. When it comes to our marriage and just caring for the other person, that effort isn't there and it's really triggering. [My needs] are not being met."
Viviana said it seemed like Katina needed to fit his view of a perfect wife 100 percent off the bat or else he'd "talk down to her" and say she's not grown and lazy, but Olajuwon disagreed.
"I'd hate for her to think that. She's the most important person in your life," Viviana pointed out.
"She knows that," Olajuwon noted.
"Does she?" Viviana asked. "Katina, do you know that?"
Katina then broke down into tears for the second time this season, and she acknowledged how she didn't appreciate Olajuwon's tone and felt like he was "beating up on" her.
Katina shared how some of the things Olajuwon was saying were already insecurities she had coming into the marriage and so it was challenging to be married to someone who called out her insecurities.
"It just makes me feel like I'm not good enough," Katina cried. "It's just hard for me when you're telling me I'm lazy and things like that... Your tone and the words that you choose, even though they might be your truth, they're also very harsh."
Katina asked Olajuwon to work on his energy and his tone, and he conceded, "I hear you say I need to work on my tone."
Viviana pushed Olajuwon to say he'd work on more than just his tone, and so Olajuwon added, "And my demeanor... But that's really it."
Olajuwon said he simply expected certain things to be done by his wife and those are "big moments" for him. Viviana seemed annoyed and bothered by how cooking and cleaning could be big moments, but he stood by his beliefs.
"I feel like someone taught you something that's going to make you end up divorced several times," Viviana admitted. "Because that expectation of marriage, of what real-life marriage looks like, I just think it's going to topple over."
Viviana added , "I don't really know how I'm going to help you if you have this archaic idea -- and very flimsy idea -- of what makes a good wife."
Viviana explained how she believes physical and emotional intimacy are so precious and that's what life is about with a partner. She therefore explained that if those things hinge on cooking and cleaning, it's too flimsy of an argument.
"You're not going to make it -- with anybody!" Viviana said.
"It's not that though, it's everything," Olajuwon responded.
"No, I'm telling you it is because I'm an expert in this and I know," Viviana argued.
Olajuwon said maybe he was expressing himself the wrong way. He then opened up and shared how it was "frustrating" because he cared for Katina.
Olajuwon got emotional because he felt like he was giving 100 percent to their marriage only to talk to Katina and get no reaction from her. Olajuwon cried about how he tried to express himself to his wife without getting much from Katina in return.
"I can't grow if I don't know how you feel," Olajuwon noted.
"It's frustrating... It's scary. Please open up. You don't have to do that every day. I point those things out because that's the only way I can kind of bring it to you. I am emotional with this marriage and my frustration is coming from the lack of you being vulnerable."
Katina promised to be more vulnerable and open with Olajuwon and tell him what's on her mind and in her thoughts. And Viviana asked Katina to stop operating out of a place of fear or else Olajuwon wouldn't want to stay with her on "Decision Day."
On Day 23 of marriage, Viviana gave each couple questions to ask each other to build more intimacy. They discussed favorite sexual positions, and Noi admitted to Steve that catching him watching porn would probably turn her on.
Jasmina told Michael that he could talk more to her throughout the day because small talk can often lead to bigger conversations, and Michael said Jasmina could do better in their marriage by listening to him, understand him and knowing that he's not her enemy.
Jasmina and Michael also laughed about embarrassing stories from their past, including how Michael had been labeled "the peepee boy" when he was six years old because he wet himself in the classroom.
When asked to reveal their favorite physical attribute in one another, Jasmina said Michael's arms and he in turn complimented her smile.
On Day 24 of marriage, Viviana visited Noi and Steve as well as Lindsey and Mark.
Noi and Steve gushed about their solid bond and great physical connection, but Noi admitted she was still getting comfortable with Steve. Steve also said Noi needed to work on communicating during conflict instead of shutting down.
In fact, Noi cried about how badly she had hurt Steve when she left their apartment for one night and lashed out about their marriage not being good enough on social media.
Noi confessed to saying mean and damaging things when she's angry and how she never wanted to be "destructive" in her marriage and treat Steve like that.
Steve agreed and added, "Something needs to change because this isn't sustainable the way it is. If something upsets you, tell me right away. I want that. Give me an opportunity... to help you not be upset."
Noi also expressed how she didn't doubt Steve's ability to make money but it didn't seem to be one of his priorities.
Steve was cooking and cleaning the apartment while Noi worked, but Noi said those sounded like "excuses" and she'd rather equally contribute to the household tasks and have Steve working and bringing in money.
Steve told Noi that they should try splitting chores because once Steve got a job, there would be no going back. However, Noi said she didn't want or ever envision having a stay-at-home dad in her marriage.
During Viviana's meeting with Jasmina and Michael, they shared how they weren't physically intimate at all -- no hand-holding or kissing. Michael said he let Jasmina take the lead on that, and she explained how she needed an emotional and mental connection before giving a man her body.
"And also, if I'm being honest, if I have no connection with you, my vagina's not getting wet for you! That's just what it is," Jasmina said.
Jasmina said she had been feeling "moments" with Michael on good days but there were other times when they were just co-existing and not communicating well. Michael believed their previous arguments had affected that, especially when Jasmina called her husband "aggressive."
"The comfortability level of just reaching out to speak about anything just isn't there for me," Michael confessed. "When I hear her speak and say, 'I'm trying but you're doing this'... she's focused on how I'm causing the issue. That's what it sounds like."
Jasmina interrupted Michael during the conversation, which is clearly a pet-peeve for him, and so the pair bickered in front of Viviana.
Jasmina insisted she wasn't holding the past against them but she felt like she was putting the most effort into their marriage.
Michael thanked Jasmina for giving him the benefit of the doubt, and then Viviana suggested Michael could write his thoughts down and then communicate them so his delivery wouldn't sound angry or like he has a tone.
Michael also asked Jasmina to show a little more affection around the house, not necessarily having sex, in order to build a deeper connection, and Jasmina noted how she's like to initiate more kissing as well.
Michael gushed about how his wife was very kissable, and Viviana had every hope this couple could work past their issues and have a great relationship.
During Viviana's visit with Lindsey and Mark, Mark shared how his marriage had been "interesting," and Lindsey revealed how her sex life with Mark was "dead."
Viviana noted she had seen a zig-zag pattern for their intimacy, and Lindsey explained how Mark had initially promised to make her feel loved and cared for.
"We were firing on all cylinders, and then he and I were intimate the next day. It was going well, and then two days later, he was like, 'The second time didn't feel good. I'm not sure.'" Lindsey said.
Mark explained how their romance felt very real in the beginning and he felt comfortable around her. When Viviana asked Lindsey how her first sexual encounter with Mark was, she said it "wasn't bad" but also "not really satisfying."
Lindsey initially thought Mark was passionate and romantic and that he could handle her, but she had apparently changed her mind on that.
"Lindsey, do you want to have a good sex life with him?" Viviana asked. "Okay, so then you need to not be so rude when you're talking about it."
Lindsey lamented about how things had been really hard and she struggled to talk to Mark about their problems. Viviana asked the couple not to give up and to trust each other a little more going forward.
Mark and Lindsey also agreed they'd like to be more physically intimate with each other and wanted the best for each other. Viviana also advised the pair to stop with the "below the belt" insults.
After Viviana's counseling sessions with the couples, Michael and Jasmina got into a little tiff about the journaling. Jasmina said she didn't want to write down her thoughts because she had no probably verbally expressing herself, but Michael wanted Jasmina to do the exercise as well.
"If there's an issue to fix, we should both be doing the same things to get the issue fixed," Michael argued.
"If I'm telling you, Michael, that I don't need to journal, then I don't need to journal," Jasmina said.
Jasmina left the conversation and vented to producers how she was tired of bickering with Michael and going back and forth with no resolution.
"I feel like he's just not hearing me out and it's just his way or no way. I can't help but feel like this is not how it should be in a marriage," Jasmina said in a confessional.
Jasmina wanted to try a new approach and have Michael be receptive to that by being the one person to journal out of the two of them, but he didn't want to. Jasmina also suggested they should have check-ins with each other to chat.
Michael accused Jasmina of circling back to their issues and not moving ahead, but Jasmina didn't feel listened to.
"When Jasmina is pointing fingers, it's a constant battle and a constant struggle," Michael explained.
It becomes a 'you against me' thing, when in marriage, it should be an 'us' thing. If Jasmina and I can't figure out how to resolve those conflicts, then we're never ever going to get to the point where we can resolve bigger issues in our marriage."
After going through a bit of a rough patch, Katina planned a movie night at home for Olajuwon since he doesn't really like to go out to dinner or the clubs. Katina showed Olajuwon how she had been listening to him and caring for his needs and desires.
Olajuwon thought the date was "perfect" and he was so impressed Katina remembered that he'd love to have a movie night. It actually "took [his] breath" away, and he said Katina's gesture meant "a lot" to him.
Olajuwon felt heard, even at his worst moments, and he thanked Katina for knowing him well. Katina brought joy to Olajuwon and "got it right," and so she was smiling ear to ear.
Although Olajuwon sometimes took a tone with her, she acknowledged how he's really a softer and kind man at heart.
"I told you I got you," Katina said.
"But now I'm seeing it... and you have not let me down. This is what I needed, seriously," Olajuwon gushed.
On Day 25 of marriage, Lindsey and Mark got out some aggression, tension and stress by having a nerf-gun fight in their apartment, and Mark was glad his wife had allowed him to let loose.
Each couple was also given a basket full of sex toys and fun objects for the bedroom which helped build a connection. Lindsey and Mark's night was hilarious as Lindsey put a ball-gag in his mouth and made him put a candy thong over his clothes.
Lindsey complimented Mark on being such a good sport, and she loved how he always made her laugh. She also said her husband is driven, hardworking and capable.
The next day, the Married at First Sight brides got together for some aerial yoga while the men played a little ice hockey together. The girls discussed how married life was different from dating, and Lindsey admitted she missed being "wooed" by "big-fish" men and Mark, who actually has qualities she wants in a husband, needed to do a lot more of that.
"At least he's having sex with me again and I'm getting my orgasm! It does wonders for my mood," Lindsey told the girls.
Noi and Jasmina also missed the "chase" a little bit, and Noi joked about how she and Steve almost felt "too comfortable" with each other. Katina, however, said she didn't miss a single thing about dating.
Meanwhile, Mark rated Lindsey a 9 or 10 on the effort scale, but he only gave her a six on needing to relax about certain things and understand each other. Olajuwon shared how he had gone up from a four to an eight in his marriage.
"There was a time when [my marriage] was maybe at like a two or a one, just because things were so tough... [I was] thinking, 'How are we going to get out of this?'" Michael revealed, adding he didn't think marriage would be so difficult this early on.
But Michael gave Jasmina a seven for how their relationship was at that point. Jasmina refused to rate her marriage, but she said she'd stay married on "Decision Day" at an eight.
Jasmina was worried she and Michael had lost three weeks of communicating, and she felt like they were almost starting again.
Lindsey later told Mark how he needed to be more invested in her and woo her, and Mark promised those times were ahead and he wouldn't let her down.
And Jasmina and Michael lit a spark at couples' tantric yoga. They were physically attracted to each other but needed to feel more connected, and this activity helped them out a lot. They giggled while feeding each other fruit blindfolded, and the pair were all smiles.
Jasmina said it felt "good" to put her hands on Michael and vice versa.
"I can definitely see myself being intimate with Michael," Jasmina shared. "But that's only if we create a bond and trust one another."
Jasmina also took accountability for not being completely vulnerable with Michael, and she acknowledged how she would try to give Michael a safer space in which to open up. Michael was so glad that Jasmine was willing to accept some responsibility for their issues, such as the fact she could be defensive at times.
Michael confirmed that he didn't regret getting married at first sight.
On Day 27 of marriage, Steve revealed to his wife how his fantasy was to have sex in the shower and clean each other, which made Noi laugh, and then she said she'd like to have sex in a public place outside of their apartment. Steve said he was looking forward to fulfilling his wife's fantasies.
Jasmina also confirmed a connection with Michael was forming in bed that night, and she noted how they just needed to really good streak to keep things going.
The episode ended with Olajuwon and Katina having a blast with their basket of sex toys, and Olajuwon gushed about having succeeded in making his wife vulnerable. Katina shared with Olajuwon how she liked a man to take initiative in the bedroom, and so Olajuwon gave his wife a massage and then carried her over his shoulder to their bed.
It was apparently the first time Olajuwon had ever touched his wife in such an intimate way, and Katina proved how she felt very comfortable with her husband.