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HOME > The Bachelorette > The Bachelorette 6

Kasey Kahl: 'Bachelorette' Ali Fedotowsky relationship 'not meant to be'


By Christopher Rocchio, 06/24/2010 

Kasey Kahl said it was difficult to have Ali Fedotowsky choose to oust him instead of Justin Rego at the end of their two-on-one date during Monday night's The Bachelorette broadcast, however he also understands why she made that decision.

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"It was a tough emotional experience to take. You're standing there and you're watching a girl that you're going after -- that you care about -- and she chose somebody else over you. That's definitely not fun, absolutely not fun. You see a guy who you think is definitely there for the wrong reasons  -- you know is there for the wrong reasons in your heart -- and she chooses him over you. It definitely wasn't fun," Kahl told Reality TV World during a Thursday conference call.

"But I think at the end of the day, like Ali said, she did it for her and she did it for me. In the long run, that's the best decision she made. She stopped it then. It was not meant to be."

Fedotowsky will learn that Rego had two girlfriends back home during next Monday night's The Bachelorette episode and send him packing, and while rumors about Rego's less-than-genuine intentions for being on the reality dating series surfaced more than a month ago Kahl claimed he was somehow unaware of them.

"I didn't even know that. That's pretty intense. Wow. I knew he wasn't there for the right reasons," said Kahl during the conference call when told about Rego's at-home relationships.

"I think I actually even said it on the show that I wouldn't even be surprised if he had a girlfriend back home. Sure enough, he's got a girlfriend. Wow. I think essentially Ali knows she made the wrong choice with a guy like that. I told her several times I didn't think he was there for the right reasons. She made the choice and that kind of sucks because I feel like maybe I didn't get enough of a chance with Ali to show her who I really was."

Still, Kahl said that even if Fedotowsky knew about Rego's at-home girlfriends before their two-on-one date he's not sure it would have made much of a difference.

"I think if she wasn't feeling that connection, then she wouldn't have felt that connection later any ways," he explained. "I think things are meant to happen for a reason, and the guy that she wanted to be with was someone else on the show."

In addition, Kahl also thinks he knows why Fedotowsky ultimately decided to keep Rego.

"I look back on it now and I think she just wanted to give him a second chance to show her that he's not just competitive and he actually wants to be sincere," he told reporters.

"She let me go, like she said, because she knew I wanted to find love but she wasn't feeling that strong of a connection."

Overall, Kahl described the two-on-one date as just another dip on the "emotional rollercoaster" that is The Bachelorette.

"You're there to find love, you're there to fall in love with someone. That's the reason behind the show. So it's kind of going up and down," he said.

"You don't know what to expect. You don't know what's next. I knew what was coming when I knew the rest of the guys were going on a group date. It's just like, 'Okay, here we go. I've got to deal with another emotional experience.' It was just so intense."

The 27-year-old advertising account executive from Clovis, CA said his The Bachelorette ouster "wasn't heartbreaking at all" even though he felt there was a connection with Fedotowsky that she didn't see.

"If she's not feeling the connection, than you kind of reciprocate that. So maybe there is no chemistry there," he explained.

"I can honestly say that I don't think I was what she was looking for. I think she's looking for something different. I wanted it to be there. I wanted her to feel the connection for me. I really did because I developed some feelings for her. But I think essentially I just wasn't what she was looking for. She was honest with me. The fact that she let me go when she did was very, very noble and sweet and kind. I definitely thank her for letting me go when she did."

After a one-on-one date with Fedotowsky didn't go so well in New York City, Kahl decided to prove his sincerity by getting a tattoo on his wrist of a heart being protected by a shield -- which he said was done more for himself than for The Bachelorette star.

"I got it to show that I was genuine and sincere because that's who I am. It doesn't necessarily mean that it was for Ali. I absolutely cared for Ali and I wanted to show her that I was there for her and there for the right reasons," he told Reality TV World.

"But in the long run, it is for me and who I am and to show that no matter what I always want to guard and protect the heart of my future wife or girlfriend. In return, I want the same thing. I got that to show who I am and that I don't have to be afraid to be who I am and never have to change for anybody."

Kahl was questioned by reporters about his decision to get the tattoo -- his first -- even after Fedotowsky expressed a desire for him to take a step back.

"I came on this show to open up. I've had some bad relationships in the past, they kind of took a toll on me and I have not been able to open up. I haven't been able to be open and be vulnerable," he explained.

"I came on the show like, 'I can do this. I can be open. I can become vulnerable.' So that's when I did it. When she told me to take a step back, yeah I did take a step back, but I also want to find love. So that's the way I approached it."

Kahl initially hid his tattoo from Fedotowsky's other suitors by explaining he burned himself on a stove, hence the bandage.

"I wasn't sure if I wanted to show it to Ali yet or not. I was still debating, 'Should I show her or should I wait?' So I didn't want the guys to go tell her because I wanted to be the guy to tell her," he said.

"I didn't want anyone else to tell her and have her not be able to experience the emotions I felt while I was getting it or the reasons behind it. So I didn't want anybody else to spoil the discourse we could have or experience together."

Kahl eventually showed Fedotowsky during the two-on-one date on which he was eliminated, however he said he has no regrets about getting it.

"The tattoo's awesome. It's definitely an amazing thing that I got for myself. The whole process of it all, it was great. I love it. It's a great thing," he said.

"Everyone always wants to see the tattoo. It's awesome because I get to show a piece of who I am to everyone, and everyone always wants to see it. It's been a great experience. I enjoyed it."

In addition, Kahl said he's glad fellow suitor Craig Robinson subsequently gave Fedotowsky a laugh by drawing a fake tattoo on his wrist.

"When I saw Craig do it, I just laughed. I love Craig. He's going to be one of my best friends for life. Craig is an awesome guy," gushed Kahl. "He's got a great sense of humor. The fact that he was able to do it at my expense, I can laugh with him too. So more power to him."

The sentiment behind the tattoo's design was that Kahl repeatedly told Fedotowsky that he wanted to "guard and protect" her heart, an emotion that he stands by.

"Like I told Ali when we were sitting down the first time I got to have a one-on-one conversation with her, I've always had that belief because of my mother. I always wanted to guard and protect her heart," he explained.

"Obviously I've never said it just like that, that's always how I felt. That's who I am. That's how it came out; it was a natural thing that came out. It became my motto on the show because it's who I am."

Kahl was also shown serenading Fedotowsky with cheesy love songs during their dates, however he told reporters it didn't actually go down that way.

"I'm not a singer. I don't sing. The cameras don't show everything or the whole scene," he explained.

"When we were sitting there at the park, we were just playing a little rhyming game back and forth. She would do a line and then I would do a line. Eventually she was like, 'Well you should just make up a song.' So I just kind of went with it and had fun. Good or bad, everyone loves karaoke right? We were just having a good time."

Still, Kahl said he's happy with the way he was portrayed on the show.

"You don't necessarily get to see everything. There's certain times on the show when I goofed around and you don't get to see the whole scene. That's okay. I feel I'm happy with the way things turned out. I'm happy with the way things were portrayed because I got to see a piece of me when I was open and honest and vulnerable when I'm usually typically not," he explained.

"I did those things. I said those things. I acted in those certain ways, and that's what was shown. I'm happy with it."

Kahl also said his spur-of-the-moment decision to get the tattoo was part of stepping outside himself during his journey.

"The show itself is such an overall emotional, intense, amazing experience that of course it's going to break you outside your reality realm. You're going to do things that you might not do regularly because you're doing these amazing, incredible things trying to find love. You catch yourself doing things you wouldn't normally do. I don't go around getting tattoos. But I made that decision," he said.

"You see yourself doing things that you wouldn't normally do because of the overall aura and feeling that you're getting on the show."

Robinson isn't the only fellow bachelor that Kahl said he got along with.

"I love every single guy on that show. I got along with everybody. There was tension, obviously, between certain people in the house," he said.

"But I think I built this great, strong foundation of relationships with a bunch of the guys. I feel like we're going to be friends for life. I would love to hang out and see all the guys down the road."

As for who Fedotowsky ends up with, Kahl said he thinks Frank Neuschaefer is the perfect fit.

"In my personal opinion, I think Frank would be great for Ali. I think he's everything that she wanted. I think Frank is a great guy and I think Frank is definitely what she's looking for," Kahl told reporters, explaining "opposites attract."

"Ali is driven, she ambitious, she's strong. He's just this goofy, awesome guy -- he's so loving, he's so genuine. It shines through. I think Ali, she'll reciprocate that. I think they would work out together if things were to go that route."

While Neuschaefer is reportedly one of Fedotowsky's final three suitors, he allegedly quit the competition prior to the season's penultimate Rose Ceremony in Tahiti after deciding he was still in love with an ex-girlfriend in Chicago.

"I don't see him having a girlfriend back home at all. There's no way," said Kahl when asked about the alleged scenario. "I don't see Frank having a girlfriend like Justin, at all. I wouldn't see that."

Kahl was also asked about recent rumors that Fedotowsky rejected both of her Final 2 suitors when the finale was filmed this spring.

"I think in my personal opinion that Ali knows exactly what she wants. There's some great guys on the show, and if she felt a connection with one of them, she's definitely going to choose one of them," he explained.

"She is a very smart woman, she knows what she wants and she will get it. If that's exactly what she wants, if she's fallen for one of the guys, then she's definitely engaged. If not, then she wouldn't be. She's not going to front anything."

While former The Bachelor: On the Wings of Love couple Jake Pavelka and Vienna Girardi confirmed they split on Monday night around the same time Kahl's ouster was being televised on The Bachelorette, he thinks the ABC reality dating franchise can produce a lasting relationship.

"I think things happen for a reason. It hearts my heart to see anyone break up, especially people that you watch and you grow fond of. But when it's all said and done, I think the show can absolutely bring love. I absolutely believe that this show can bring two people to a happy place," he told Reality TV World.

"The toughest part -- just from seeing the way things happen -- is the media. You have to have the strength to be strong together."

Kahl said he would "love" to get back onto the dating scene and already as his eyes on somebody.

"There's a good friend that I have, she's really cool. But I'm just taking things slow and we'll see where things go," he told reporters.

"I'm just enjoying being single and being able to have the ability to open up again. The show was such an amazing experience, and it just really built confidence in who I am and that I don't have to change for anybody and that I will find the right woman someday."

(Photo credit ABC)


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