Married at First Sight star Shaquille Dillon has admitted he felt "blindsided" by Kirsten's description of their chemistry level, adding that he constantly felt "rejected" behind the scenes.
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Shaquille, 31, and Kirsten, 32, were matched for matrimony on Married at First Sight's sixteenth season, which filmed in Nashville, TN, by show experts Pastor Calvin Roberson and Dr. Pepper Schwartz.
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Kirsten wasn't attracted to Shaquille at the start of the experiment, but once she found herself liking Shaquille's personality and wanting to grow closer to him, Shaquille became frustrated with Kirsten's lack of vulnerability and confusing expectations of him.
During the March 15 episode of Married at First Sight: Afterparty, Shaquille watched back a Season 16 clip of MAFS star Nicole Lilienthal asking Kirsten and Shaquille if anything had progressed in the intimacy department for them.
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"Not really," Kirsten announces. "Like, we have a little bit of a connection. The chemistry is there a little bit."
Shaquille then declares, "I think it's there, honestly."
Fellow Married at First Sight star Gina Micheletti jokes at the dinner table, "[Shaq] is like, 'I'm ready to makeout!'"
Shaquille shared with Afterparty host Keshia Knight Pulliam of that cast gathering, "Often times I feel blindsided because we have these deep conversations and we can talk, but when we get in front of company, that's when the dirty laundry is aired out -- of what's not going on."
"But I protect my household," Shaquille noted. "So some things should be left said in-house, and we can work on it. But now, it gives others an opportunity to say their opinions on our relationship and what we should be working on."
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Shaquille revealed that "crazy" Nicole even "slipped notes" under cast members' apartment doors, giving them unsolicited relationship advice.
"[Nicole wrote to me], 'Hey this is what you need to do,' or she'll just walk in our apartment," Shaquille recalled, adding how Nicole allegedly advised him to kiss Kirsten before bed.
Shaquille therefore pointed out how Kirsten was clearly having personal conversations with her girls.
"Just not with me," Shaquille complained.
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Married at First Sight star Airris Williams joined Shaquille on Afterparty and mentioned how these group gatherings were beneficial during the show because people were "put on the spot" and "forced" to deal with their issues head on.
"We all want each other to succeed. So we're calling each other out on the stuff we think each other is doing wrong," Airris explained.
Shaquille admitted his rides home with Kirsten after cast meetings were "always confusing" for him.
"I'm always confused, because we'll start talking about something else," Shaquille said.
"We won't even bring up what just happened. And I would say, 'Hey, let's discuss what happened tonight.' And she'll say, 'Oh, that's in the past. Let's get that behind us.'"
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But Shaquille vented about how he really wanted to talk about what actually happened.
"It goes back to that fear of bringing back up the conversation that we just had," Shaquille explained.
Shaquille, however, confronted Kirsten about her "little bit of a connection" remark later that evening.
On Afterparty, Shaquille watched back the awkward conversation with his wife about their chemistry level.
"I'm like, 'What in the hell?' Like, 'Damn, she couldn't tell me this at the house? She couldn't tell me when we got home later?" Shaquille tells Kirsten in the clip.
"If I don't come out and tell you, then you should ask," Kirsten says.
"But in the beginning, you had that guard up and you did not want that to happen at all!" Shaquille fires back.
"You barely wanted me to touch you. It just seems in your life, it's always been on your time of what you wanted, and for me, that ain't going to fly! It's not all about Kirsten."
Shaquille confirmed to Keshia that he and Kirsten simply weren't building intimacy because he felt constantly rebuffed.
"You were rejecting me all the time but now you want me to submit to you," Shaquille said.
Shaquille confessed that he and Kirsten were having a battle of egos.
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"At this point, it's like I'm not going to do it just because you want to do it. Why do you want to do it?" Shaquille reasoned.
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Airris pointed out how the couple had made significant progress and so he was hopeful for them.
With that being said, Shaquille told Keshia that he and Kirsten had a drink after their argument that night and "just talked."
"I realized in that moment, 'Let me take a step back and adhere to Kirsten's needs and give her what she's saying and what she's actually communicating to me without taking offense to it,'" Shaquille shared.
Based on the latest sixteenth-season Married at First Sight episode, the disconnect seemed to be that Kirsten believed she could take her time and had "a lifetime" to share things about herself and divulge details about her past.
Shaquille, on the other hand, was thinking about Decision Day. He apparently didn't want to say "yes" to staying married to a woman whom he barely knew.
Kirsten admitted in a confessional that she didn't want her family and friends to get attached to Shaquille if he was going to split on Decision Day and be "one foot in" the marriage "and one foot out."
Kirsten wanted to feel secure in knowing that Shaquille was committed to her, regardless of the circumstances or timeline for the show.
At the end of the broadcast, Shaquille complained of his marriage, "I don't know if I want to be with somebody who just continues to have a guard up with somebody who actually wants to be in this marriage with them."
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