Taylor Frankie Paul is getting candid about the emotional toll her messy court battle with ex-boyfriend Dakota Mortensen has taken on her.
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"The psychological torture damaged me way more than the physical," Taylor, 32, wrote via Instagram Stories on Wednesday, May 27.
"You eventually become a shell of a human. This is hard to share because it's hard to come to terms with."
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Taylor also shared a photo of what appeared to be a large bruise on her arm. It looked like The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives star snapped the picture after taking a shower, but it's unclear exactly when it was taken.
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Taylor went on to discuss how she's coping and healing from all the emotional distress.
"Started EMDR therapy today. I've done a bit. Full dive this time," Taylor wrote in a separate post via Instagram Stories. "It's intense and extremely effective for PTSD/Trauma."
Earlier this month, Taylor accused Dakota -- the father of her youngest child, Ever True, 2 -- of having manipulated, threatened and publicly humiliated her both during and after their relationship, although she didn't identify him by name.
"It's so sad because nobody wants to be like this. I hate that I am no longer myself. I hate that I stayed for so long," Taylor wrote on May 14.
"I blame nobody more than my own damn self, because how did I allow this for my kids and myself for so long? I'm sorry to THEM. I don't need to log off and remain silent. I've already admitted in court I'm fully NOT INNOCENT, I know that. None of it is okay, period."
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Taylor said she's "been in survival mode" for years "with miscarriages, pregnancy, postpartum, and horrible betrayal with so many lies told, which added to the trauma on my body physically, hormonally, mentally, and emotionally. Those layers also matter."
Taylor admitted her life became "more difficult" when she was "scared to call for help" or open up to anybody.
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"I was being reminded I would be the one in trouble given I'm the one on probation already," Taylor wrote, referring to her 2023 arrest on multiple assault charges following a fight with Dakota.
"Imagine being pregnant & postpartum healing internally and too scared to ask for help or at the very least speak about it, and he knew he had that advantage, which gave him MORE access to do whatever, knowing I'd remain silent."
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The mother of three went on to allege that her ex twisted everything until she felt "insane," when she was actually "right about it all."
Taylor recalled how she was "stuck in the cycle" with Dakota because he'd allegedly fight with her, console her, and then gaslight her by saying, "It's okay you're acting out, I'm still here for you."
Taylor then addressed "valid" criticism that she didn't leave Dakota sooner, considering things were so toxic between them.
"Let's look at how it ended for me when I finally did [leave him]. I was love bombed then manipulated, threatened, physically hurt, cops called on me, publicly humiliated, lost most friends because he got to them, CPS called, and am now in court all because I said no more and he knew I meant it this time," Taylor claimed.
"The difference between us, my love was real for him without gaining anything, and people know that. Not sure it was the same in return... I wish he had been the person he pretended to be."
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Dakota made multiple domestic violence allegations against Taylor in February.
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After Dakota and Taylor both filed for a protective order against each other, a judge granted Dakota temporary custody of Ever during an April 7 court hearing.
Taylor was only given up to eight hours per week of supervised visitation with Ever, but on April 14, the Salt Lake County District Attorney's Office announced that Taylor won't face charges.
In late April, Taylor and Dakota were granted protective orders against each other.
The pair remain in a legal battle over Ever and will revisit their custody arrangement at their next court hearing on June 1. (Taylor also shares daughter Indy, 8, and son Ocean, 5, with ex-husband Tate Paul.)
In March, The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives halted filming its fifth season amid Taylor's legal troubles.
Taylor was also supposed to star on The Bachelorette's 22nd season -- which had been scheduled to premiere March 22 on ABC -- but the network announced its decision to cancel the season on March 19 after a video leaked of Taylor verbally and physically attacking Dakota in 2023 in front of her daughter.
As for whether Taylor's The Bachelorette season will ever air, ABC executive Rob Mills recently said in multiple interviews that everything will be taken "one day at a time" but he hopes viewers will eventually see the "wonderful" and "fantastic" season.
RELATED LINK: 'THE BACHELOR' FRANCHISE COUPLES NOW: WHO IS STILL TOGETHER?? (PHOTOS)
Click here to read all the spoilers for Taylor Frankie Paul's The Bachelorette season and find out her winner and how her journey ended.
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