Married at First Sight star Clara Berghaus says Haley Harris totally neglected the bracelet Jacob Harder had gifted her for their wedding but she can see both sides of the couple's argument.
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Jacob and Haley's marriage hit a low point when they fought about the $800 infinity bracelet Jacob had given Haley that she proceeded not to wear once or even keep at their Atlanta apartment.
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Jacob admitted he felt "disrespected" by Haley's treatment of the bracelet, and Married at First Sight expert Dr. Pepper Schwartz told the cameras Haley needed to accept responsibility for her role in the problem or else her marriage probably wouldn't work out.
During the April 21 broadcast of Married at First Sight: Unfiltered, Clara, Jacob and MAFS expert Pastor Calvin Roberson watched back a Season 12 clip in which Haley was shown FaceTiming with her mother.
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"So Jake got upset about the bracelet again, so if you could please send it back so that he can have it in his possession and we don't have to worry about that anymore," Haley tells her mom.
"I will," Haley's mom replies.
"I will overnight it first thing in the morning. That is beyond tacky, like you signed up for it, but he just needs his bracelet back. He should have never bought the bracelet and bought a gift that he wasn't prepared to give."
Haley's mom adds, "If you're going to give a gift, you GIVE the gift."
And Haley gripes, "And if we could not bring up how much it costs again, that would be nice too."
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"That's ridiculous. I hate that you had to deal with this," Haley's mom says.
"I completely agree," Haley notes.
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Haley's mom concluded that she'd find a way to give the bracelet back to Haley so she and Jacob could avoid future conflict, even if it meant driving to Atlanta herself.
Jacob said on Unfiltered he wished Haley had shown him some respect or appreciation in regards to her use of the bracelet, and so host Jamie Otis asked Clara -- who became friends with Haley on the show -- for her take on the situation.
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"Oh man, um, I really do see both sides of this," Clara admitted.
"Gift giving is my love language. That is how I show the people in my life that I'm thinking about them, so the idea that I would give a gift and it would be totally neglected -- never seen or heard of again -- that would really hurt my feelings."
Clara acknowledged this must have been "a very tough situation to be in, on both sides."
Pastor Cal then offered his thoughts on Haley and Jacob's disagreement.
"It was never about the bracelet. I mean, if it was that deep, you wouldn't have spent that amount of money on it," Pastor Cal told Jacob.
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"I mean, you spent that money because you were making a gesture and you wanted her to appreciate the gesture. So it wasn't really even about her rejecting the gift; it was about her rejecting you."
Clara agreed, "Yeah," and then Pastor Cal added, "I think that that's a real issue."
Jacob pointed out that Haley barely acknowledged him as her husband.
And Jamie -- who starred on Season 1 of Married at First Sight -- proceeded to ask Jacob if, in hindsight, he wished he had handled the situation differently.
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"No," Jacob replied.
"I knew that was going to be his answer!" Clara said with a laugh.
"No, I mean, I feel [my reaction] was appropriate," Jacob noted. "So she feels a different way and I'm not surprised. I'm moving on."
Haley and Jacob had an intimate encounter during their Las Vegas honeymoon, but as Haley got to know Jacob's personality better, she pushed him away and began guarding herself from getting close to him. She also said she didn't find him physically attractive.
Haley still attempted to develop a connection with Jacob in subsequent weeks through conversation and activities, but Haley argued that Jacob didn't seem interested in her life and she always had to initiate conversation.
In turn, Jacob felt it was hard to progress their relationship when Haley refused to even hug him or give him a goodnight kiss.
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Married at First Sight expert Dr. Viviana Coles said on the April 7 broadcast of Unfiltered it was probably difficult for Jacob to break through Haley's walls.
"He's in a really tough spot because if he tries too hard, that's unattractive to [Haley]. If he doesn't try enough, then she doesn't really have the motivation to move towards him," Viviana explained at the time.
Jacob has said on the show he didn't feel like he could woo Haley because she simply didn't want his affection and so he allowed her to take the reins on what type of interactions they'd have.
On the latest episode of Married at First Sight's twelfth season, Haley and Jacob bickered at a couples' retreat in Hilton Head, SC, and couldn't seem to get along.
Haley thought things were getting better after the spouses played games and enjoyed a few laughs, but Jacob departed the retreat early and didn't even communicate with his wife that he was leaving.
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