Former The Bachelor
star Sean Lowe
is warning the franchise's current star Ben Higgins
about navigating life after the show when fame can so easily get to his head.
Lowe, 32, wrote
in his Patheos blog that although The Bachelor
creates "storybook romances," a "major disconnect" exists once the ABC show stops airing on television.
"After months of building one man up as the perfect guy (or the perfect Ben), after newfound fame, after winning the adoration of millions of girls watching at home on TV, after dating twenty five women simultaneously (all of whom will stop at nothing to win your affection), after having genuine heartfelt feelings for multiple women... it all suddenly stops," Lowe explained.
Lowe starred on Season 17 of The Bachelor
, which concluded in 2013, and he ended up proposing marriage to his now-pregnant wife Catherine Giudici
"Honor your fiancee between the time filming is done and the finale is aired. I think this is the most important thing to remember. This is when the fame really starts to kick in and the network is promoting you as America's dream guy and you're receiving tons of attention from women across the globe. But not so fast! You're engaged at this point," Lowe warned Higgins, 26.
"You have to realize that the show comes second and your new fiancee comes first (I struggled with this
at times). Always be aware of your fiancee's feelings and ask yourself if what you're doing is honoring her."
Lowe said Higgins is probably feeling "pretty darn famous" right now, because he is without a doubt, but women won't mob him forever and the rush "fades fast." As a result, Lowe advised Higgins to stay grounded and concentrate on the woman he picked.
"Give your relationship the attention and it will be so much more rewarding than anything fame could ever bring you. Being the Bachelor can really mess with your head
. You're thrust into this weird world where it's okay to date multiple women and where you're the person being chased," Lowe wrote.
"A man should always be the pursuer and not the one being pursued. Since that's not the dynamic on The Bachelor
, sometimes the chosen woman can be left feeling unfulfilled
... If you want any chance of success, you must flip the script. Chase after your woman."
Lowe is definitely speaking from experience, as he owned the fact he screwed up quite a bit with Giudici.
"Looking back, I can see how badly Catherine needed empathy during the first few months of our relationship. For months, she shared me with other women, she watched me date them on TV, she waited on standby as I traveled the country promoting the show. All the while, I didn't stop to think how hard that must have been for her," Lowe confessed.
"Looking back, I wish I would have thanked her for being so gracious, and I wish I had told her that I understood how tough that must have been. I failed in that regard but, hopefully, Ben can learn from my mistakes."
Lowe and Giudici are one of the few couples who actually worked out from the franchise, so Lowe asked Higgins not to forget the fact relationships born from reality TV are "really difficult" to maintain.
"But if you both commit to putting each other first, to working out the details of leaving families and jobs behind, and to growing your relationship stronger every day, you will be rewarded with the most beautiful thing in the world: a loving wife," Lowe noted.
Lowe and Giudici, 29, currently star on Marriage Boot Camp: Reality Stars
on Friday nights. They wed in a made-for-TV special in January 2014 and announced in December of last year they're expecting
their first child together.
As for Higgins, he still has Joelle "JoJo" Fletcher
, Lauren Bushnell
and Caila Quinn
in the running for his heart on Season 20 of The Bachelor