The Bachelor alum Ben Higgins has revealed his ex-fiancee Lauren Bushnell is a part of his memoir coming out early next year but she's signed off on the chapter or chapters in the book that are about her and their former relationship.
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"Two years ago, I started on a project to write a book... It's been two years of really weird conversations with myself, really hard conversations with myself," Ben, 31, said during the Tuesday episode of The Ben and Ashley I: Almost Famous Podcast.
Ben said the book touches on his faith as well as moments of envy, self-doubt, and feeling isolated, disconnected and unlovable.
"The book is done. It is edited, it is turned it, it is completed. The cover is released, and I am now on the road to releasing this thing, that has really taken up the most time of anything I've ever done in my life," Ben told his podcast co-host Ashley Iaconetti.
Unlike what many The Bachelor fans would expect, Ben clarified, "It's not a tell-all book."
"I guess for me, I don't have a lot to tell," Ben noted.
"[Ashley and I] talk about the show all the time on this podcast and there's not a lot hidden anymore in my journey of The Bachelor world and if there is, then I hope to think of those things and say it on this podcast and share those experiences."
Ben continued, "So when I wrote this, you know, it does go into my relationships from the show. There is a section on Lauren in there, and Lauren and I were able to talk about that, and I got her approval on that."
Ben and Lauren, 30, got engaged at the Final Rose Ceremony on The Bachelor's 20th season, which aired in 2016. The pair split in May 2017 after more than a year together.
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Ben therefore felt the need to contact Lauren and discuss her mentions in the book, "because, you know, she's been a huge part of my life and a great part in many ways," Ben said.
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"But there isn't the juicy details of the show, but there is hopefully honesty about the show and honesty about the experience that maybe isn't known or maybe would be relatable."
Ben previously told Us Weekly that he hadn't spoken to Lauren in the months leading up to their episode of The Bachelor: The Greatest Seasons — Ever!, which aired on ABC in June and featured a condensed version of Ben's The Bachelor season.
Ben conducted an interview with The Bachelor host Chris Harrison during the three-hour special, but Lauren, who married country singer Chris Lane in October 2019 and is currently living in Nashville with him, decided not to participate.
"She's married. I'm happy for her, and she found her partner," Ben told Us.
"If she reached out saying, 'Hey, how are you going to handle this? This is what's sensitive to me...' I would love to take that call from her, but I don't think I'm needed in this moment for her."
Ben said he pulled back memories and dug deep within himself to write this memoir, which is divided into four sections: connection with self, connection to others, connection romantically and connection with God.
RELATED LINK: 'THE BACHELOR' COUPLES NOW: WHO DID 'THE BACHELOR' STARS AND THEIR BACHELORETTE PICKS ACTUALLY END UP MARRYING? (PHOTOS)
"Within, this, I share things that my parents didn't know about me, like my problems with addiction, my problems with doubting my faith, doubting a God above, and my problems with obviously feeling unlovable, like, truly feeling unlovable," Ben explained.
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"And I feel like I walk through life sometimes, especially as I was writing this, feeling that way," he noted.
Ben, however, has definitely found love with fiancee Jessica Clarke, and he's hoping to spend the rest of his life with her.
Ben proposed marriage to Jessica back in March in her hometown of Franklin, TN. The engaged couple plan to get married in 2021 and live together in Denver, CO, where Ben currently resides.
"My hope the whole time [with this book] and what my friends and my family and Jessica continue to reinforce in me is I'm doing this so that maybe somebody out there will feel less alone when they read it," Ben explained.
"I'm living this and going through all of these weird emotions because maybe somebody will read it and... feel less alone."
Prior to starring on The Bachelor, Ben competed for Kaitlyn Bristowe's heart on The Bachelorette's eleventh edition. Ben also made an appearance on The Bachelor Winter Games.
RELATED LINK: 'THE BACHELOR' FRANCHISE COUPLES NOW: WHO IS STILL TOGETHER?? (PHOTOS)
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