'Married at First Sight' recap: Johnny admits he's not ready for marriage and Zack doubts his future with Michaela as three other couples grow closer
By Elizabeth Kwiatkowski, 09/09/2021
Married at First Sight featured Johnny Lam admitting he's not ready for marriage or truly happy in his relationship with Bao and Zack doubting the future of his marriage to Michaela after their first explosive fight shook him to his core during Wednesday night's Season 13 broadcast on Lifetime.
Married at First Sight's thirteenth season stars Gil Cuero and Myrla Feria, Johnny and Bao, Michaela and Zack, Rachel and Jose, and Brett and Ryan.
The five couples were matched for matrimony by Married at First Sight's experts Pastor Calvin Roberson, Dr. Pepper Schwartz, and Dr. Viviana Coles.
TheMarried at First Sight broadcast began on Day 11 of marriage, with the five couples each preparing for their upcoming housewarming party in their new apartment.
Rachel and Jose picked out herbs and plants for their new place, and Rachel joked about Jose going into the shopping day with a plan and needing to be in control.
And Zack met up with his buddy Jeron to discuss the highs and lows of his marriage to Michaela thus far. Zack admitted he was seeing "red flags" with Michaela and didn't appreciate the way they handled their first argument.
When Zack had taken his dog Bella to daycare early one morning, he decided not to wake Michaela up since she hates being waken up. Although Zack claims he had texted her his whereabouts, Michaela packed up her belongings and moved out.
Zack thought his conversation with Michaela about how to resolve their issues and move forward, which stemmed from a helpful visit from Pastor Cal, went well.
"But then she texted me like an hour later, saying, like, 'I'm not doing the housewarming. My friends are not coming. I'm not doing it.' And it's like, 'Okay, I can't do this,' because that's not how I handle stuff," Zack told his buddy.
Jeron acknowledged Zack has "fairy-tale expectations" of marriage and his wife, and so he tried to tell his friend to let reality sink in and be a little more patient.
But Zack was worried Michaela's shocking reaction to "very minor situations" was a bad sign of things to come considering they'd eventually fight over much more serious issues.
"The reason why my past relationships haven't worked out was because of the way my girlfriends were," Zack told Jeron.
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"They were very confrontational, and the way they handled conflict was something I don't like, the very loud and boisterous make-a-scene type of stuff. That's not me and that's what I want to get away from in a relationship."
Zack added, "If it's going to be like this, I'm just not going to be able to do it."
After Gil and Myrla were shown setting a budget and sharing each other's personal bank information, Gil realized he and Myrla were in different tax brackets, with her making and saving more money.
However, Gil felt confident in what he brings to the table, knowing his income and savings in Colombia were sufficient for any partner or relationship.
Myrla joked that Gil's retirement was slow, and she was a little upset to discover they must "start from scratch" and "wait a while to get a home."
Meanwhile, Ryan told a pal during a workout session that things were going great with Brett and their connection had been easy and not forced; however, he worried about Brett being high-stress and high-anxiety pretty frequently.
Brett also told her friend Christine that she's very attracted to Ryan and his body looks like an action figure, like he's a man straight out of Baywatch.
Brett and Ryan's attraction to each other was growing from both ends, and Ryan gushed about seeing more and more positives about Brett and their marriage every single day.
Bao also met with her friend Huy and revealed that while she had some doubts about being married to Johnny, a former partier and fratboy, when she walked down the aisle, she slowly came to realize they complement each other quite well given she's introverted and guarded and he's extroverted and open.
But Bao pointed out Johnny was "dismissive" and didn't seem to take things seriously.
Huy said Johnny hadn't been in a serious relationship for eight years and so he needed some time to stop thinking selfishly.
"I can see when he gets deflated and it affects our communication. He just shuts down," Bao shared, adding that Johnny shouldn't withdraw and leave her when times get tough.
Bao, however, remained optimistic and said, "I'm not the one ducking and running."
"You think if anyone's ducking and running it's going to be Johnny?" Huy asked.
"It would be Johnny," Bao replied. "Yeah."
Afterward, the Married at First Sight grooms met up a restaurant for beers while the girls also gathered together at a different location.
Jose gushed about Rachel exceeding his expectations and how they couldn't keep their hands off each other, but Gil admitted he had yet to receive a kiss from Myrla on the lips.
"It's not bothering me yet. I think eventually it will," Gil confessed, adding that it was "cool" for the time being but his patience was probably going to run out soon.
Brett revealed to the girls how her feelings for Ryan were accelerating in the intimacy department, and Zack and Michaela shared with the group how they had consummated their marriage.
But Johnny confessed to the guys that he felt like he was dating a friend.
"[I'm] somewhat [attracted to her]. She's not my type," Johnny announced. "Physically, I'm attracted to her. She's got the body type I like and she's cute. But she's [not] my personality type. I'm drawn to a certain personality."
Gil explained how he and Myrla weren't necessarily each other's type at first sight but they both like each other and have a mutual attraction, and he told the cameras that Johnny seemingly wasn't seeing how Bao might be good for him.
And Bao reasoned how no one will ever find a perfect person or a perfect mate and she was annoyed to keep falling short on Johnny's checklist.
When Jose suggested a couple can learn and grow together, Zack chimed in, "But what if it just doesn't work?!"
Zack was going through the same thing as Johnny, some inner turmoil, but both men were trying. Zack respected how Johnny was being honest about the issues he was having with his wife.
After Gil advised Johnny to keep working at it, Johnny broke down to producers in a confessional.
"I thought I was ready to get married," Johnny said, trying to fight back the tears.
"But maybe I wasn't ready. That's hard to say. And now I'm married to Bao and maybe I came into this not being ready to be married and now she's married to me. And now she's f-cked -- because I'm f-cked."
Jose comforted Johnny in private in a bathroom because Johnny was clearly overwhelmed.
Johnny wondered if his expectations were too high and maybe unrealistic for what he wanted out of the Married at First Sight process.
"Did I sign up for this to find my perfect wife and because she's not perfect, I'm out?" Johnny questioned. "F-ck!"
Afterward, Gil introduced Myrla to his mother, who lives in Colombia, via FaceTime. The women got along great as Gil joked about his wife's spending habits and the fact she's "bougie."
Gil flat out told Myrla she is "extra" and "too much," but she wasn't offended. Myrla actually liked how the couple could tease each other and have playful banter.
When getting into bed that night, Johnny told the cameras he didn't feel in sync with Bao and was still waiting to develop a deeper and more intimate connection with her.
Bao could tell that Johnny was off or upset, and he explained to his wife how he was feeling "confused" about what's wrong with their relationship, and more specifically, what's wrong with himself.
Johnny said he could feel that Bao was totally into him but he was focusing on all the negative things. Johnny admitted he wasn't sure what he was doing and said, "What if I went in it with the right reasons but I wasn't ready?"
Bao was "disappointed" to hear that because she said she had been putting so much effort into their relationship.
"I have been wondering, 'Is he ready for marriage?' Because I feel in my gut he might not be. So it's sad to know that what you were worried about is a valid reality right now," Bao explained in a confessional.
Bao told Johnny that she had so many thoughts and was sorry he felt that way, and the couple agreed to sleep on it. As Johnny started to fall asleep, Bao admitted her mind was going to be spinning all night.
Each couple's housewarming party with friends and family then commenced and everyone appeared to have a good time.
As for issues that popped up, Jose harped on how he'd like to have a joint account with Rachel, whom he accused of trying to "keep up with the Joneses."
Jose also poked fun at Rachel's desire to travel to different countries, which would be very expensive.
Jose's parents hoped Jose would lighten up a little bit or else finances would be a big problem in his relationship with Rachel, and Rachel totally agreed.
"Jose had been planning to be married for a long time. I felt ready to be married maybe a year ago, and I was in a place as a single woman -- I loved where I was... I loved my life, full of memories and experiences," Rachel shared with the cameras.
She added, "I want to share all of that with someone. I'm having very strong feelings for my husband, but him being very dismissive towards something I'm really passionate about, he's making me feel a little nervous about our future."
Meanwhile, Bao and Johnny worked together to throw a great party, even though Bao was feeling stressed out about her relationship and just wanted to get the gathering over with.
Bao told Johnny's friends that she felt Johnny was "90 percent in" to their marriage, and Johnny admitted to Bao's friends that he wasn't in love with his wife and was only 65 percent of the way there.
Johnny said he was trying to work on building intimacy with Bao, and Bao's pal Scott warned Johnny that Bao takes time to open up.
"Bao has got a lot of love to give but you've got to accept all of it. And I think if you do that, you'll get the most out of her as a person... Be all in, and I think if you're able to do that, you'll unlock some pretty special things," Scott advised Johnny.
Bao also acknowledged that she needed Johnny to be "100 percent in" in order to fall in love with him as well. Johnny therefore concluded he needed to learn as much about Bao as possible and put everything he had into his marriage.
Meanwhile, Michaela decided to go through with the party even though she initially wanted to cancel it. Michaela told her friends that she and Zack were still learning each other's communication styles and how the first week or so of marriage had been difficult.
But Zack was still hung up on Michaela "making a scene" and her "unnecessary behaviors," and he admitted in a confessional, "I just know at this moment, I don't know if we're going to be able to resolve it."
Zack admitted to Michaela's friends how he was not used to a woman having outbursts and he wasn't sure his marriage would work out if things of this nature kept happening, but the girls assured Zack that Michaela never had a pattern of this behavior.
Michaela's friends actually called her level-headed and sane, acknowledging that Michaela was just out of her comfort zone and needed a little time in order to trust Zack and settle down.
Michaela told Zack's friend that she needed to be considerate of Zack's feelings and not do vindictive things that may hurt her husband, whom she called "a beautiful man" on the inside and out.
"I think we have to learn what is or is not okay," Michaela said, adding that she must not bite her tongue and then have a drastic reaction.
Jeron told Michaela that Zack had been in toxic relationships with poor communication in the past and so she needed to speak to Zack calmly and rationally and explain herself in a respectful manner during challenging times.
Zack's conversation with Michaela's friends made him feel better, but he hadn't bounced back yet.
On Day 14 of marriage, Brett and Ryan's housewarming party was a total success and they embraced each other's friends. Brett looked forward to seeing Ryan's "tender place," and Ryan was excited about moving their friendship into a more romantic direction.
Gil and Myrla also had a great time together, and the pair agreed living together felt natural and easy. Gil said marriage had been "surprisingly smooth" so far and he knew enough about Myrla to trust her.
Gil, however, was a little concerned about Myrla's unwillingness to change her lifestyle even a little bit, and he also seemed a bit insecure over the fact Myrla didn't want to kiss him yet or engage in any type of PDA.
Gil -- who learned from Myrla's friend that Myrla always moved at a slow pace -- felt Myrla had conditioned herself to behave a certain way in previous relationships when their marriage was quick and totally different.
"[I said], 'That's a cookie-cutter way of you going into every relationship, but this isn't the same cookie cutter, like, I am a signature dish. This is completely different," Gil said.
"And so it's one of those things, like, do we really like each other?... Is it beyond the idea of just being married?"
Gil and Myrla wanted to make sure that they truly wanted to be married to each other as individuals, and not just married in general with anyone who might fit the bill.
After Johnny and Bao's housewarming party, Johnny was feeling a lot better and Bao pointed out how they made a great team and work well together. Bao also told Johnny that she had respect for him for being able to put their issues aside and have a good time with their friends.
Bao told Johnny that she could tell he was trying hard to make their marriage work, and Johnny suddenly had more optimism they may be able to work through their problems.
"There's always going to be waves, but waves are beautiful! There might be big waves, but we'll be stronger," Bao told her husband before the pair kissed three times in bed.
While Michaela and Zack's party went well, Zack still had a chip on his shoulder.
Michaela admitted to Zack she had overreacted in their fight and Zack was justified in feeling hurt and abandoned. Michaela insisted she was all in and wanted their marriage to work.
But Zack shared with Michaela how he worried their relationship was going to be a repeat of his past and their problem was bigger than communication.
"It's how we handle conflict," Zack said. "And that's something I don't know how we can change. I'm honestly scared to tell you how I feel right now, because I'm scared you'll blow up."
Zack confessed that he couldn't eat and didn't feel good.
"When I pulled up, I got anxiety. I did not want to come in here," Zack told Michaela. "I felt horrible. It was more anxiety than the wedding day, I kid you not."
Michaela apologized and wanted to make things right, but she wondered how long it was going to take Zack to come around.
Zack wasn't sure how to fix the problem, but he said that was "okay," that they didn't need to solve and have the answer to every single problem they face immediately.
Zack suggested they should take a step back due to their "fundamental difference" in how they handle certain things.
"It's too big of a difference for me right now," Zack said.
"I've apologized and I've admitted that I was f-cking wrong," Michaela noted.
Zack recalled how Michaela canceling their housewarming party took him "over the top" considering he assumed they had hashed out their issues with Pastor Cal.
Zack said Michaela's decision came out of the blue and she can't just do something like that, and Michaela started to cry. Michaela said she had no idea canceling the housewarming party would upset Zack as much as it did.
"I don't know how to make you understand that this is something new to me. I'm not saying that you're wrong and I'm not saying that I'm right, but I'm saying that I'm sorry," Michaela said.
Zack said part of marriage is figuring things out and sometimes taking time apart from each other.
"I feel horrible right now, and I can't fake it. I'm sorry," Zack told Michaela.
Zack proceeded to tell the cameras that he felt "heartbroken" because he had been hoping to find The One and his forever partner on Married at First Sight.
"I've wanted this my whole life and so it's definitely hurtful. I'm definitely not happy about where we are. At this moment, I don't know if we'll be able to resolve this," Zack explained.
Zack decided to spend the night away from Michaela because he didn't feel comfortable staying with her. Zack said he felt anxious and uncomfortable in a situation he simply didn't want to be in.
Michaela therefore went in her bedroom alone and closed the door.