List of episodes of The Osbournes
List of episodes of The Osbournes (Courtesy Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia)
This page is an episode guide to episodes of the reality television series The Osbournes.
Season 1
Title | Original Airdate | Episode | |||
---|---|---|---|---|---|
There Goes the Neighborhood | March 5, 2002 | 1 | 101 | ||
The debut episode opens with a brief introduction of the family with a voice-over and scenes of each member, such as Jack and Kelly arguing, Sharon saying how she'll never be a Mother Teresa to her family, and Ozzy yelling Rock 'n' Roll! at the camera. Aside the introductions, the episode deals with the family moving into their new Beverly Hills home. The family deal with problems that could arise from such a situation - finding valuable furniture broken due to lousy packing and trying to set up the TV with no instructions.
Ozzy appears on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno as a performer. Kelly and Sharon come with Ozzy to the show, but Jack stays at home, watching a marijuana documentary instead. The family nanny, Melinda, repeatedly tells him off but is scolded at and insulted by Jack. After Ozzy's stint, he is told by Sharon backstage that perhaps he should reappear on the show as a talking guest.
The episode also shows Jack and Kelly's love-hate relationship, and how their constant fighting has added strain to the already complicated moving houses situation. While the Osbournes are still settling in, Kelly nearly sets the kitchen on fire, and Jack wanders around the background clad in pseudo Army gear in a daze. The two constantly fight, chasing each other around the house. The night after the move they decide to go out clubbing on Sunset Strip, using fake IDs as both are underage, but usually their connection with Ozzy Osbourne gets them a free pass. Ozzy warns them not to drink or take drugs ("Because I'm f*cking pissed off that I can't!") and to wear condoms if they have sex. In spite of all the problems, Sharon is happy and content that they're finally 'home'. | |||||
Bark at the Moon | March 12, 2002 | 2 | 102 | ||
The episode starts with a brief scene of Ozzy and Sharon trying to turn on their new vacuum cleaner. Kelly lends a hand and switches on the vacuum, and Ozzy complains about the loudness of the vacuum.
The family's numerous dogs has been excreting far too many times in the house, and ruining valuable furniture in the process. Kelly buys a new cat, but Ozzy makes it clear he doesn't want anymore animals in the house. The worst dog is Lola, a bull dog which belongs to Jack. Lola constantly chews on furniture and has already demolished a valuable sofa. Sharon threatens Jack she'll give Lola away. Jack says Lola is demolishing the furniture because Kelly has bought a new cat into the house, and Lola felt ignored. Still Jack hides Lola from the wrath of Ozzy, who clearly wants to get rid of the dog.
Kelly gets busted for not stopping at a stop sign while driving, and is not far from having her license taken away. Elijah Wood and sister Hannah visit the Osbournes, and Lola does a massive 'crap' in Ozzy and Sharron's bedroom. Jack is ordered to clean it up. He goes ahead with a fresh start, but abandons it very soon ("THAT'S tough!"). Lola later urinates on the family sofas. Sharon threatens to give the dog away but later decides to hire a dog trainer. The dog trainer, Tamara, arrives and sees all the dogs. She listens to everyone's complaints about the dogs' toilet habits. She says that the dogs are spoiled rotten and untrained, and the Osbournes need to make themselves more important to the dogs' lives and have their needs taken care of. Tamara briefly trains Lola, and all seems well for the first day of dog training. However, as Tamara is leaving, Lola urinates on a carpet. It is revealed Kelly has actually bought TWO cats, and Ozzy sees them. His yell of horror can be heard beyond Beverly Hills... | |||||
Like Father, Like Daughter | March 19, 2002 | 3 | 103 | ||
Ozzy's first solo album in six years is released, and Sharon has arranged numurous interveiws and promotion gigs. She helps pick clothes for Ozzy to wear to an in-store autograph session at Tower Records, Sunset Strip. Ozzy feels very 'Ricky Martin' in his black leather outfit. Ozzy, Sharon and her Pomerian dog Mimi arrive at the instore gig in a stretch limosine. Kelly is there too, and is accosted by horny Ozzy fans. Ozzy signs autographs and takes photos with fans, including an entire squad of security guards!
Afterwards Ozzy and Sharon go to the KRQQ radio station and have an interview. Jack listens to the interview over the radio in a friend's car. Ozzy and Sharon discuss their sex life, and how Ozzy has been using viagra excessively because he had been 'shooting blanks'. Jack winces in embarrassment as the Osbournes go on to say how Ozzy would get 'hard' at inconvient times when Sharon is sleeping and not interested.
Next Ozzy take a private flight to New York to do more promotional gigs and interviews. Meanwhile Kelly hangs around with a good family friend, Robert. She says they're only friends, although there appears to be close attraction between them. Kelly later takes her cat to the vet with Melinda the nanny. Melinda tells Kelly that Jack is going to a school camp, and Kelly seems to take delight in that. On the day to go to camp, Melinda tries to wake up Jack. But Jack is very depressed for some unknown reason and it becomes a struggle for Melinda to get him up. Jack manages to get to the school bus in time and is off to camp, but Sharon is very worried that Jack is not alright and jokes he may need medication. Afterwards Sharon and Kelly take a private flight to New York to be with Ozzy. Ozzy appears on a TRL show with daughter Kelly, who is told backstage not to swear onstage. Fortunately she listens and is quiet throughout the show. Ozzy meets up with P. Diddy and takes photos. P. Diddy says he's a huge fan of Ozzy Osbourne. Kelly's 17th birthday is coming up and Sharon has arranged a themed party back at home. While going over the development of Kelly's party, Sharon gets a call from Jack's school that Jack is coming back from camp. Jack had been complaining that he didn't like the students ("Too hippyish... you have to hug trees there"), he threw rocks at students and tents and he told the school captain to go "f*ck himself". Everyone arrives home just in time for Kelly's horror-themed party. The party features a cortionist and a tarot card reader. Ozzy is gobsmacked by the Gothic nature of the party and the loud dance music that Kelly likes ("The kind of music to bash your head in to!"). Jack brings a girlfriend into his room and admits he urinates frequently in bed and dribbles a lot when he's asleep. He locks the door that night. Morning after, Kelly reveals to Ozzy that she has a tattoo on her hip. Neither Ozzy or Jack are bothered, but Sharon is disappointed and says she's a very stupid person. Ozzy finishes the episode saying with advice about tattoos: "To be unique, DON'T get a tattoo. Because everybody else has got tattoos!... (Kelly's) tattoo isn't THAT bad. I thought she was going to show me a large f*cking eagle tattoo on her arse!" | |||||
Won't You Be Thy Neighbor? | March 26, 2002 | 4 | 104 | ||
Kelly complains that elder sister Aimee had booked her a gynecologist appointment. Ozzy thinks it's a practical joke, but Kelly says that Aimee also tried to get her to go to a dentist and get a new car ("And I said to her, 'Aimee. My teeth, my car, my vagina, my business'"). Ozzy wonders if Kelly has been messing with boys, but nanny Melinda insists Ozzy she hasn't and there's nothing wrong with Kelly.
The Osbournes have new neighbours, and they had been playing loud European dance music late at night. Sharon confronts them over the fence and tells them to go in their "perfectly big a house" to play their music. The neighbours refuse to go inside, and Ozzy declares war. One night the neighbours play camp songs, and Jack finally has enough. He plays Meshuggah on full volume to upset the neighbours. No such luck. Although it wakes Kelly who comes running out of the house and throwing tantrums. Next, Jack and Sharon start throwing ham across the fence. This catches the attention of the police, and they tell Sharon they are powerless to do anything about the loud noise UNLESS they are there when it happens. They also warn the family not to throw "the good food" over the fence, and to call them when the neighbours start playing up again.
Ozzy, who had been sleeping through all this, awakes and grabs a piece of firewood and throws it over the fence. Something smashes. The cops come back! And Ozzy runs for dear life. | |||||
Tour of Duty | April 2, 2002 | 5 | 105 | ||
Ozzy is working out with a personal trainer in preparation for an upcoming tour. Sharon talks with a friend over the phone saying that the original name for Ozzy's tour was going to be 'Black Christmas', but was unappropiate because of the 9/11 attacks and its aftermath, so they renamed it 'Merry Mayhem'. Sharon adds that Ozzy will come on stage in a sleigh that will go around the stadium.
At Divine Recordings where Sharon works, she goes over the merchandise for the 'Merry Mayhem' tour, working out prices ("How much do women pay for knickers?"). Meanwhile, Jack is starting his own label under Divine Recordings.
On a day off, Sharon and Kelly go on yet another mad shopping spree at Saks Fifth Avenue, and loses Ozzy's credit card in the process. Panic-striken, Kelly takes the blame for the missing card and frantically searches her car and finally finds it under the driver's seat - in the middle of the night. The next day, Ozzy goes to band rehearsal for the tour, warning that guitarist Zakk plays louder than Satan. Later, he does a Moulin Rouge skit for more promotional purposes, totally clad in Christina Aguilera-style bustier, frilly stockings and scary white hair. He complains how he hates making music videos, because the crew goes about as if they're making a major motion picture. Ozzy prepares to leave for tour, and Sharon remarks that he finds it very stressful when embarking on a tour. Jack won't come with Ozzy on his tour, and stays at home to build up his label. Ozzy and Sharon leave for Tucson for band rehearsal. During the rehearsal, Sharon shows to Ozzy all the special effects for the shows:
|
Title | Original Airdate | Episode | |||
---|---|---|---|---|---|
Sleepless in Beverly Hills | tbc, 2005 | 43 | 401 | ||
Have Ozz Will Travel (1) | tbc, 2005 | 44 | 402 | ||
Hawaii Five Ozz (2) | tbc, 2005 | 45 | 403 | ||
Kelly Interrupted | tbc, 2005 | 46 | 404 | ||
28 Days Later | tbc, 2005 | 47 | 405 | ||
Charity Case | tbc, 2005 | 48 | 406 | ||
Number One Fan | tbc, 2005 | 49 | 407 | ||
Lozt in Translation | tbc, 2005 | 50 | 408 | ||
The Show Must Go Off! | tbc, 2005 | 51 | 409 | ||
A Farewell to Ozz | tbc, 2005 | 52 | 410 | ||
Series final. |
This article is licensed under the GNU Free Documentation License.It uses material from the Wikipedia article "List of episodes of The Osbournes". Reality TV World is not responsible for any errors or omissions this article may contain. |
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