Australian actress Nicole Kidman says she still loves Tom Cruise even though their 2001 divorce came as a "major shock."

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"To me, he was just Tom, but to everybody else, he is huge," Kidman told Ladies Home Journal. "But he was lovely to me. And I loved him. I still love him."

Kidman told LJH she felt like something bad was going to happen, but the end of her marriage never crossed her mind, People magazine said.

"I always knew the rug was going to be taken out from underneath me at some stage," says Kidman. "I didn't think it was going to happen in the way it happened. I had seen my mother battle breast cancer, so I had a fear of my health being jeopardized -- that was really where I was thinking mine would come."

Cruise and Kidman had adopted two children and been together 10 years when he filed for divorce.

Kidman, who now seeing country music star Keith Urban, said she is cautious when comes to affairs of the heart.

"I'm pretty careful about who I share my life with," she said. "I surround myself with truthful, kind people, most of whom are not in the business. It's the life I want to have when I'm an old woman with long, gray hair."