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Don't try this at home -- or elsewhere!

UPI News Service, 07/03/2011 

Is it illegal to impersonate a nun?

Wrong question. The right question is this: Is it wise to use a Visa card to purchase a nun's costume?

Turns out, there's a difference between a nun's habit and a nun's costume and, furthermore, it's likely less difficult to trace the purchase of a "Nun on the Run adult mask."

All this is to say a pair of burglars can slip into some generic nun costumes, origin unknown, or for argument's sake they can wear two paper bags with eye-holes cut out ! or they can use a Visa card to purchase "Nun on the Run adult masks" at a local costume store, and the question narrows further to which of these might be easier to trace?

In Palos Heights, Ill., Navahcia Edwards was arrested for robbing the TCF Bank of $120,000 while displaying weapons and wearing nun costumes. Edwards, the FBI said, purchased a pair of masks 10 days prior to the robbery, the Chicago Tribune reported Friday.

She was also, incidentally, charged in June with embezzling nearly $20,000 from the Chase Bank branch where she worked.

Moral of the story: Authorities like it when bank robbers leave a trail of bread crumbs behind them.

If you can get away with it, purse snatching is far more lucrative. Think of all the little, old ladies you can outrun ... with your car ...

Or, think again.

Two women in New Castle, Pa., could not stop a purse snatcher, but one was able to whack his car pretty good with her cane.

Having found a car that fit the description of the vehicle, police later matched up the dents to the woman's cane, the New Castle News reported.

Moral of the story: It's time to trade up if your car can't outrun a woman with a cane.

Police in Vineland, N.J., said an intruder offered to pay to repair a screen door he had cut through after an exchange with the homeowner (who had just returned home) revealed he had meant to break into a different house.

Maria Cardona said the intruder said he was "looking for a guy named Greg," The Press of Atlantic City, N.J., reported.

He also said he was looking for number 1021, while Cardona lives in 1022.

Moral of the story: Get a life.

Speaking of which, officials in Massachusetts said they would not pursue a criminal case against one Michael Wylie, a jury-duty scofflaw who happens to be deceased.

Apparently, Wylie was in hospice care in 2006 and died of cancer, The (North Andover) Eagle-Tribune reported.

Justice was on the way because, "we required a doctor's letter and we never received one," said state Deputy Jury Commissioner John Cavanaugh.

Moral of the story: Justice is not dead in Massachusetts.

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